For Eternity and a Day, I Remember
by Flyleaftwin
Summary: Sometimes our own worst enemies are ourselves. When a strange new hollow gravely injures Ichigo he must come to terms with not only his new disability but also the knowledge that there may be no cure. Can he and his friends weather the storm or is this just one battle too much?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is the first story I've had the nerve to actually post online. It does contain OOCness but in my opinion anything that is not Kubo is technically 'out of character'. I mean no offence by any of the themes in it; it is merely a work of fiction. This is going to be a multi-chaptered story and it is rated M for Violence, Language etc.**

**The events take place disregarding the current arc though there are some small references to things that have happened this arc (i.e The whole Isshin/Masaki thing) Assume it takes place after the Lost Agent Arc and disregarding the Thousand Year Blood War Arc.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo**

**Eternity and a day**

Chapter one: _It's too quiet_

Night fell like dying leaves in the heart of winter, coating the earth in its wondrous dark as three lone figures made their way through the seemingly deserted streets. Two of the figures towered well over the third as they floated like ghosts through silent roads.

"It's too quiet tonight," The smallest pale figure spoke to the wind and her companions, a gentle breeze catching a single lock of black hair and softly moving it away from its normal fixed position just between her eyes.

"You say that every night," One of the companions growled in response though his tone was not in anger, merely attesting to the fact that the statement had been repeated several times.

"I don't know Ichigo," The largest of the three spoke in unusually reserved tones, his normal mockery missing on this particularly eve. "Something feels odd tonight," He added as he scanned around him, almost as if he thought he would see what the cause of the ill feeling was by merely just looking.

The one called Ichigo snorted in response, he didn't feel anything odd, though if he was honest with himself, he never really _felt_ anything full-stop. He fought what was in front of him; he didn't need to _feel _it out it usually found him anyway.

"Come on, this place is giving me the creeps tonight," The other male spoke again, his red hair shinning oddly in the incandescent glow of the street lamps.

"Empty streets are giving you the creeps?" The smaller male quipped sarcastically, an orange eyebrow raised in a challenging smirk. His orange hair was wild, uncontrollable, just like his desire and passion.

"I told you idiot, I have a strange feeling!" The redhead answered in a low growl, a vein ticking along his forehead as the arrogant toothy grin of his onetime opponent and friend infuriated him all the more.

"Sure it's not just a dodgy rice ball Renji?" Ichigo murmured, watching with satisfaction as Renji's face turned the same shade as his long hair.

"Why you little bastard!" He snapped menacingly, causing Ichigo to grin wider before Renji took a half step towards him, hackles raised like some stray dog.

"Knock it off," A commanding tone laced with dry ice cut immediately between the testosterone fueled pair. Both males snapped to attention, the girl glaring at them both with an expression that would freeze even the sun.

"Sorry," They mumbled in unison, neither finding it strange that a woman so small and seemingly unassuming could order two very strong and powerful men with a few simple phrases.

"Let's just get to Urahara's and turn this thing in," Renji said while Rukia eyed the bag, slung over Ichigo's back, almost nervously.

"What even is this thing anyway?" Ichigo asked shrugging the bag up a little further, the object was heavy but not so much so that it hindered him or he needed to ask Renji for help, no he and his pride could suffer a little discomfort he decided.

"We aren't sure," The girl replied at once, her cold violet eyes trained on the black cloth sack before dragging them to Ichigo's eager amber eyes, "But the reiatsu that thing is giving off is ominous," She added darkly before turning her head back to the road ahead.

"Well what do _you_ think it is Rukia?" Ichigo asked her unsatisfied by her previous answer. He never was content with the cryptic responses that the female soul reaper liked to give.

She sighed heavily before responding with all the patience she could muster, "We think it is some sort of hollow made device that latches onto a person's reiatsu and paralyzes them." She finished lowly, her voice sounding as heavy as the weight on Ichigo's shoulder.

"How the hell would a hollow make something like that?" Ichigo asked repulsed, looking between both Rukia and Renji.

"That's what we are unsure off," Rukia replied after a moment's hesitation, the ever present frown on her face deepening slightly, "Captain Kurotsuchi has been trying to get his hands on a complete one for some time, which is why our find is all the more important." Her eyes trailed the package once more.

"Then why are we giving it too that idiot Urahara first? I'm surprised Mayuri is letting him have it," Ichigo said scratching his head with a long finger, hoisting the uncomfortable weight once more.

"Were you not listening earlier on Ichigo?" Renji asked with an annoyingly arrogant and simultaneously exasperated voice. The look of complete indifference the orange haired soul reaper gave him was answer enough; Renji shook his head in disbelief. "You are the worst you know that right?" He asked Ichigo who narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Yeah well at least I'm n-" Ichigo's retort was cut off when a huge concealed hollow landed on top of where he had been standing not but one second ago, if his flash step wasn't so adept he would have been crushed by the massive beast.

"What the hell!" Renji roared commanding his sword to do the same, the blade morphing into an extendable jagged edged weapon that he immediately swung towards the hollow who was howling in abstract rage and agony.

"Where did it come from?" Ichigo panted flash stepping a little closer to the petite soul reaper who had already drawn her blade.

"Stay on your guard Ichigo, I didn't feel this thing approaching at all, there could be more," She warned her eyes fixed rigidly on the battle in front of her, Renji managing to get a solid hit to the things left arm, the monster shrieking in pain at the deep slice.

"You two get that thing out of here!" Renji shouted at his friends while pulling his blade out of the hollow, the blood splattering the floor with the force of a waterfall.

Ichigo made to argue and went to unsheathe his own sword on his back, but he was stopped when a small hand closed around his own. Glancing down he saw Rukia looking determinedly back at him, "Renji's right Ichigo, we can't let the hollows get their hands on this device, we need to go," She said, her eyes shining brightly in the dimly lit street, immediately silencing his arguments.

A quick glance back and he saw that Renji had managed to take the whole arm of the hollow and with another roar made to attack again. Ichigo turned quickly back to Rukia and nodded once, "Fine let's go," he said almost begrudgingly but she flashed him a small reassuring smile.

They should have stayed together, splitting up from Renji was a stupid mistake, his gut had told him not to divide their team, but he had put his faith in the older soul reapers, next time he would just trust his gut.

They were completely surrounded, hollows of different shapes and sizes roared and snarled as Ichigo and Rukia angled their blades, backs pressed against the other, one taking one side the other side by their partner. Ichigo growled low in his throat, the hollow Renji had been fighting stood just to his left, his arm still intermittently spitting blood but no red haired reaper in sight. If Rukia had noticed she had not said anything, she tightened her blade and readied herself.

"Ichigo, can you see a way out?" She hissed urgently at him, he glanced down over his shoulder at her pale face, once again blown away by how utterly determined she looked, despite being physically weaker than he.

"Not without a fight," He answered, inwardly wondering why the hollows weren't attacking, why the battle had stilled. "Rukia, if I clear a path, can you take the device and get it out of here?" He asked quickly as the tiny hollow to his right roared taking a half step forward, he turned his head sharply watching to see if it made a move.

"And what about you, don't be stupid Ichigo we stay together, I see that now," She replied bitterly, her eyes raking over the hollow that Renji had been fighting.

"You said this thing is important right?" His voice calmer than he thought it should be, "Then get it out of here," He said, not bothering to mention the fact that if she took it away, she was removing herself from the line of fire, he was more than okay with that.

"I'm not leaving Ichigo," She snapped stubbornly, her reiatsu flaring slightly as she prepared to unleash her full power, "You and I both know only you have the speed to make it out of here, I'll make an opening and you go."

"Hell no!" He answered back at once, turning his head almost fully in her direction, "I'm not leaving you here to all these hollows,"

"Why? Don't think I can handle it?" She asked angrily and he shook his head immediately.

"Dammit Rukia, you know that's not it, but I'm not leaving you again," He said stubbornly as she sighed heavily.

"Then I guess we should fight," She said the corner of her mouth lifting up ever so slightly in a smirk, she could feel the power now, ice cold as it flowed through her veins and prepared to flow down into her sword, she raised the hilt to her mouth.

She needed to tell it what to do, but she didn't need more than a whisper to command her weapon. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki," She ordered softly, the blade immediately shinning a luminous white-hot light. She swiped her hand down the blade wiping away the residual reiatsu like snow before she swung the sword around in a curving ark as slowly as she wanted to, the white ribbon forming an almost perfect circle.

Warm fingers briefly brushed her own, stern amber eyes said _"be careful", _her cold violet ones softened momentarily and only for him, _"Listen to your own advice,"_ they answered his.

Then she was gone like a ghost on the wind, the sound of her flash step a soft hiss amongst the screeches of a dozen hollows. She instantly reappeared in front of the largest group, at least five in her range of attack before she whispered her command and set her blade to work "Some no mai, Tsukishiro," a complete white circle, brighter than the moon formed around the snarling group as ice shot high into the air seemingly incasing the female soul reaper along with it, but a moment later as the ice cracked into blocks the size of boulders she was back behind Ichigo once again.

"Your turn," she teased lightly, not underestimating the situation but drawing some pleasure in the effectiveness of her own power, her pride in being stronger with each passing day. She could imagine Ichigo's smirk, a mix of pride for her and the feel of his own power slowly whipping into a frenzy, many of the remaining hollows started howling in response, the power starting to bite and nip at them.

Rukia found the feeling comforting, his power poured over her and wrapped around her body like a blanket or his arms, safe and strong. While the hollows writhed in discomfort and pain, she relished in the strength his unbelievable power gave her, she half glanced back just in time to hear him speak.

"Bankai!" He yelled one arm acting as the conduit in which his power flowed through. For one breathtaking moment all he could see, hear, touch, taste and smell was black and red reiatsu as it surged around his body. The shrieks of some of the weaker hollows could be heard just barely over the roar of Ichigo's power; they disintegrated by the sheer potency of his reiatsu. The tables were turning and the hollows knew it.

"Hold on to this," He said calmly to Rukia, giving her the heavy package that they had been carrying, her arms creaked under the weight and she let out a small "oof" to which he smirked. And then he was gone in a flash of red and black and pure raw power.

The hollows were too slow, or he too fast, his long black katana slicing through white bone like the bow of a ship through calm waters. His face was set in determined lines, his arm never ceasing in its efforts to purge the hollows, keep the device from their hands and above all protect.

Rukia followed in awe, her eyes seeing only small glimmers of him here and there. A piece of his clothing dangling in the wind before it vanished once more out of sight. Hollows fell in heaps, one after the other and her grip tightened on the device and on her sword, the ill feeling in her belly was stronger now, something bad was coming she could sense it.

The final hollow died with a blood curdling screech and then the night was still once more. Ichigo came to a dignified halt beside Rukia, the robes of his Bankai flapping in the wind as he looked up from under his bangs to the petite soul reaper.

"We should check on Renji," He said at once, his hand reaching out to grip her elbow and take her along with him as he flash stepped forward. She matched his speed with ease, even with the extra weight of the bag she was still holding on to.

They dropped into the clearing they had left the male reaper in and immediately spotted him lying face down in the dirt. "Renji!" Rukia cried out at once, rushing to her old friend's aid as Ichigo surveyed the area. His hair was on end, his hollow and Zangestu were tense inside of him, a fight was coming, those hollows before had been nothing more than the warm up act, and he was willing to bet that whatever took Renji out was not the hollow he had been fighting.

"Renji," Rukia murmured, setting the bag beside her and she gently turned him over, his face was battered and bloody but he was still whole.

"Rukia?" Ichigo called over his shoulder, his sword held ready and waiting with both hands for the oncoming storm, "How is he?" He asked concern lacing his tone.

"He's alive, though his reiatsu is weak, he must have used Bankai," she answered, her hands glowing a soft green as she began to assess the damage.

Ichigo's frown deepened, that hollow Renji had fought was child's play, there was no way a veteran reaper like Renji would need something like Bankai for a low level hollow like that. His grip on his sword tightened, _get ready,_ he told the occupants of his inner world who both nodded in agreement.

Renji groaned beneath her, his eyes fluttering slightly as she poured her power into him. Her sword had reverted back into its unreleased form in a bid to conserve reiatsu and the device brushed against her leg as she worked. Soon Renji's brown eyes creaked open and with a gasp he grabbed Rukia's wrist and wheezed two words at her, "Run. Idiots."

Rukia was slammed hard into the side of a large building, the glass shattering around her, several pieces embedding themselves deep into the skin of her back. Her gasp of pain and shock blocked out the yell of her name from both men.

Ichigo immediately jumped after her, his hands grasping for hers within milliseconds of the event. He couldn't see the danger, he knew she would kill him for acting so over protective, but the moment she'd said "I do," she didn't have a choice in what he did anymore, not when it came to her.

She gasped once again in pain as he pulled her tightly into his arms, holding her close to him as he looked for the danger. "Ichigo," He heard a pained voice below him, "You need to get that _thing_ out of here," She forced out as his grip momentarily tightened and he closed his eyes in frustration.

Yes that damn device, the reason they were out so late, the reason this was seemingly for. He glanced down at her, her eyes narrowed slightly. She raised a bloodied hand, ran her fingers across his cheekbone and said "Please". It was all she said before he gently let her go and was back at the black bag beside a semi-conscious Renji who was straining to get up.

"Can you move?" Ichigo asked quickly grasping Renji's arm and dragging him bodily to his feet and using his free arm to sling the bag over his shoulder.

"Yes," Renji gasped out as he spat a bit of blood out of his mouth before wiping it on the back of his hand.

"Then you know what to do," Ichigo said warningly glancing at his friend who nodded back tersely.

Ichigo _felt_ rather than saw the thing making another attack run. He managed to move both he and Renji out of the way just in time. Turning his head slightly he finally saw the hollow coming to an abrupt halt a few feet away. Ichigo's eyes narrowed and his blood ran cold when he took in the appearance of his enemy.

It was almost humanoid, a little taller than he or Renji but instead of hands it had talons. However it was its mask that sent Ichigo's heart racing a little faster. It was not bone white but rather a much darker almost yellow color, it seemed to be crumbling away completely, the cracks dripping what looked like blood down that horrid yellow façade. If he had to guess he would say the discoloration was a consequence of age, the thing looked old, archaic. It's eyes were bright red as it gazed at himself and Renji with murderous intent.

He let his grip slacken on his injured comrade, a low grunt of pain escaped Renji as he was forced to stand on his own. "Renji," Ichigo muttered so that only he could hear, "Get her out of here." Ichigo said sternly, his voice uncharacteristically serious and reserved, even facing the unknown Ichigo always kept a sense ease about him, his over cocky and arrogant nature always so close to the surface. But not now, not when that thing looked older than anything they'd ever faced, not when it's mask seemed to be crumbling away and the dark red lines dripped off the bone and onto the ground.

"Right," Renji replied just as serious, his small brown eyes searching out his oldest friend and spotting her struggling to get to her feet a few meters away. Years before he often dreamed that one day they'd be more than friends, once he could prove to her that he was better than Byakuya. But he'd lost her the moment he'd let her walk away from him. And as the orange haired young man tightened his grip on his sword and walked towards the unknown enemy that had taken him down in seconds. He was glad that he had lost.

"What the hell do you want?" Ichigo called out to the new enemy, his voice finding some of his vigor as he spoke. Whatever it was it didn't matter, he'd beat it and that would be the end of it. "Time," The thing spoke in a voice like nails on a blackboard, Ichigo's hair stood on end, "Death," It added taking a step closer to the advancing substitute soul reaper.

Ichigo spotted Renji, from the corner of his eye, flash stepping to Rukia's side and he instantly felt more relieved as the thing opened its rotting mouth to speak again, "Revenge," Another half step forward, "Blood," it was within meters of Ichigo now, "Destruction." It finished coming to a stop almost within sword distance of Ichigo.

"Not asking for much are you?" Ichigo asked sarcastically, the blade of Tensa Zangestu humming in his hand eager for this _things_ blood, Ichigo was only too glad to give in. He moved at once, his blade connecting with the fleshy part of the monsters shoulder as his momentum carried him on and out until he had cut clean through the hollow who didn't even attempt to move.

Ichigo swung round immediately, his eyes wide in alert and confusion as the hollow merely turned once more to face him, half of its left arm barely connected to the rest of its body. "Destruction." It said again before it was gone in the blink of an eye and Ichigo found that he couldn't even track the movement.

"ICHIGO! BEHIND YOU!" Rukia's voice screamed at him as he had just enough time to turn and raise his sword to stop the talons of the hollow piercing right through his chest. The tips punctured his skin slightly as he exclaimed in shock and pain before he shoved the thing backwards off his blade and stood his ground panting heavily.

He hadn't even seen it, if it wasn't for Rukia his heart would probably be laying outside of his body right now. He wiped the sweat of his brow and allowed a small grin to grace his features. "That wasn't bad," He joked, "But I won't let you get another hit in." He added darkly as he charged forward once again, talon and steel hitting in a loud clang.

The fight raged on, Ichigo got more and more hits in before, with one effective slice upwards, he managed to take one of the hollows hands off completely. Ichigo stood back to admire his handiwork as the thing finally let out an anguished yell and Ichigo cracked his neck ready to finish this.

But just before he made another pass, the hollow suddenly disappeared again and Ichigo swung around, sword in hand trying to find it. Minutes ticked by slowly, painfully. He could see Renji and Rukia just to his left, he didn't even have the strength to be mad at Renji for not getting Rukia to safety, if she hadn't have called out at the start, well this battle would have ended very differently.

"Do you guys see it?" He called around still spinning in slow circles, eyes skirting over every shadow and surface.

"No, be careful Ichigo," Rukia replied, her voice sounded strained and much more fearful than he would have liked, he was winning this thing, she didn't need to worry about him.

Ichigo closed his eyes briefly, allowing his other senses to do the work, his ears picked at the night air and that was when he _heard_ it. A slight distortion on the wind, like something was moving unseen around them. The hollow wasn't fast, it was invisible. A small smirk graced his face as he moved, one minute standing with his eyes closed, the next his sword sticking straight through the chest of the hidden hollow which howled in agony and materialized in front of them. He heard the others let out a gasp of shock.

He yanked the sword out, the blood splattering the floor and dripping down the black steel as the hollow staggered back from him. He expected it to plead and beg for mercy, he expected it to run, or to fight or to even continue to scream in pain. What he didn't expect was it to start laughing, low and deep, a sound that made his blood run cold and his senses flare in warning.

"Destruction." It said once more before it moved not towards Ichigo, or even his stricken comrades, but backwards towards the hollow made device that was now glowing. Ichigo's eyes widened slightly. The thing hadn't been hiding, it had been working, it had been activating the very thing they were supposed to be protecting. His eyes flicked to the brown and violet ones of his fellow reapers and their looks of complete fear surely mirrored his own.

"Blood," The hollow screeched as it allowed the blood gushing from his chest wound to land atop the device, the strange blue light only growing in size. He'd been so stupid, Ichigo thought as he clenched his fists and dropped his sword. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew it would be bad and his sword wouldn't help him now, he knew that deep in his soul.

"What are you doing?" Rukia hissed at him, one eye on him, the other on the ever growing blue glow, that was now huge in height and diameter, almost taller than himself and three times as wide. It would surely engulf them all.

"Sorry Rukia," He said half glancing towards her, her violet eyes wrecking every one of his senses like they always did, "but I don't think I'll be home for dinner." He said as those eyes widened in realization but too late, far too late as he had already moved.

The hollow completely disintegrated, finally dying from its wounds as Ichigo reached the glowing box and he grabbed it with complete and utter disregard. It burnt his hands, he could feel the flesh strip away and he knew he'd yelled out because he could hear Rukia scream at him, Renji's voice strained as he attempted to keep her back.

"STOP!" Rukia yelled as Ichigo let out a shout of pain, they could hear his hands burning, smell the dead flesh as he turned those amber eyes of his to them and every breath she had left her body as Renji practically held her of her feet as she strained to get at the stupid idiot who was just smirking back at them.

Then he was just gone, the light along with him, he shot high into the air, their eyes managing only to follow the blue glow that he carried along with him. He jumped from building to building, steadily climbing, getting himself away from them as far as possible. How had this happened? She couldn't get her head around it, none of it made sense and the worse of it was, as her eyes followed his ascent, she had been powerless. She had just stood by and fucking watched.

"What the hell is he doing?" Renji hissed beside her, his arms tight around her body, so much so she could feel the larger chunks of glass being pushed deeper into her back. But she didn't care, she couldn't feel anything.

The night stilled around them, even the wind died and nothing was felt or heard until a deep boom sounded breaking the silence as the light Ichigo carried exploded when he launched himself as far as he could into the sky off the tallest building he could get to.

The blue light pulsed so bright that the two reapers screwed their eyes shut tight to shield them as the wind ripped around their bodies and reiatsu so strong and dense landed on their shoulders like heavy chains and they both sucked in huge breaths of air. She couldn't even scream his name, she couldn't even whisper no, as the night exploded and then died even quicker than it had started.

They collapsed heavily on the floor as the light vanished and all was quiet once more, the danger seemingly gone. But it wasn't, her heart was racing as she finally detached herself from Renji and scanned the sky for a sign, just _some sign_ that all was not lost, it couldn't be lost.

_There!_

A black speck was falling fast, wind and air distorting as he fell faster and faster, his body flashing past window after window on the huge building behind him. She didn't even hesitate, didn't even listen to Renji as his hand gripped at the space she had once been crouched in. She knew she only had one shot, one chance to get this right, otherwise they'd both be lost, but that had always been the way it was between them and she was more than fine with that.

She practically climbed on all four limbs, feet slipping on the glass as she flash stepped faster than she thought she could up the side of the building she had been smashed into. The irony did not escape her, the building that caused her immobility was now her savior as her feet hit the roof and she was tearing as fast as her sandaled feet had ever moved across the concrete surface. Then finding purchase on the lip of the ledge as she used it to propel forwards towards the ever falling faster body of the man she'd pledged her soul to. He should have stopped himself by now, but as she reached for him, her heart begging, willing, needing him to stop himself, that he wouldn't, he just wouldn't.

Her arms and body collided hard with his as she used what little reiatsu she had left to slow them down, she couldn't see his face as she pressed him tightly against her chest as she let out a roar of frustration and fear as she barely managed to slow them down enough to not kill them.

Hitting the ground together, she immediately released him, her eyes trailing over his pale face, her fingers gripping his ice cold skin as her breathing came out in ragged breaths. "Ichigo," She panted, her heart beating quickly in her chest as she tried to keep her panic in check, "Wake up you fool," She begged as Renji joined her, setting himself down on Ichigo's other side.

"His reiatsu is really weak," She muttered to the red head, barely glancing at him, her eyes fixed solely on Ichigo's pale form. She could feel his power simmering deep beneath the surface, but it was pulsating lowly and she needed him to open his eyes so she could belay the ever rising panic in her chest.

"We need to get help," No sooner had the words come out of Renji's mouth, did Urahara appear beside them, and then a moment later Yoruichi who was holding Orihime in her arms. To say Rukia was relieved was an understatement; there wasn't anything that the buxom young woman couldn't fix.

"Ichigo!" She cried shrilly, throwing herself down beside Renji, while Rukia glanced up at Urahara who was being unusually quiet and reserved. "What happened?" Yoruichi finally asked as Orihime immediately set to work, the golden glow of her power bathing them all in it's warm light.

"We were walking back to yours with that thing you wanted us to get when we were attacked by a hollow," Renji said turning his body to look at the much older souls, "We split up and I was attacked by some freaky looking hollow with a yellow mask and blood all over it." He said as quickly as he could, "When I came to Ichigo and Rukia had found me and then the same hollow attacked us again."

Rukia cut across him, "We were ambushed by a dozen hollows, I-Ichigo and I defeated them easily and went back for Renji. Ichigo fought the thing, but it kept disappearing out of sight," Her eyebrows creased deeper, "The fight was just a distraction, he was activating that damn thing and I-Ichigo grabbed it and carried it away from us where it exploded and I caught him before he hit the ground." She finished, her words a mixture of fear, sadness and above all rage. How had she let this happen?

"It wasn't your fault Rukia," Urahara responded, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his haori. She only scoffed in response annoyed he'd seen right through her, annoyed that he was wrong.

"Kisuke is right," Yoruichi said in similarly serious tones, "Ichigo knew what he was doing, he saved your lives." She added more softly as Rukia's jaw clenched.

"I am aware of that," She answered coldly, even Renji flinched at the ice in her tone, he eyed her nervously, but she was already looking back at Orihime who was frowning and sweating from exertion.

Suddenly, surprising both Renji and Rukia, she stopped, the golden glow dying away instantly and chilling them both to their cores. Orihime turned her round eyes up to Urahara and shook her head, "We need to get Ichigo's body," She said sadly as Rukia rounded on her and Yoruichi disappeared at once.

"Why did you stop Orihime?" Rukia asked grabbing the healer's wrist, "You have to help him!" She half ordered, half begged of the human girl who just shook her head, tears glistening in her normally happy eyes.

"I can't Rukia, there's nothing I can do. That thing, that device you were carrying, when it exploded its reiatsu molded with Ichigo's and I can't reject it. I don't know why, I just can't." She finished with a tear dropping from her eyelashes.

"Why are you asking for his body?" Renji demanded looking between both Orihime and Urahara, and then to Rukia who had hidden her eyes behind her hair.

"Because we have to call an ambulance," Urahara responded sadly and both younger soul reapers heads snapped up.

"You've got to be kidding; humans can't fix a problem like this! He needs to go to Soul Society, to squad 4!" Renji growled struggling to get to his feet.

"Easy Renji," Urahara warned him, "That device attacks reiatsu, if anyone with reiatsu of their own tries to heal him, it will affect them to. I had a theory that's what would happen, it's why I asked Miss Inoue to try and heal him, knowing that her abilities would protect her from anything." He shook his head sadly, "We need to put Ichigo back in his body so he can get help, they will just think he has broken his back, the paralysis is much the same."

Rukia's fists clenched on her hakama, her nails digging into her skin, this couldn't be happening, the whole thing made her want to laugh at the irony of it. She deluded herself into thinking that she and Ichigo could weather anything, that they were from the same world, but right now was proof that they weren't.

Yoruichi was back in moments; Ichigo's lifeless body slumped over her shoulders. She laid it down gently as Urahara instructed Renji to take Ichigo's legs as he himself took his arms. They gently lifted the fallen reaper and placed him directly over his body and he merged with it at once.

"I've already called an ambulance," Yoruichi instructed as she took a step back to stand with her arms folded beside Urahara. "Rukia, Renji, the two of you should head back to the Shop to get Tessai to heal your wounds; we can wait here with Ichigo." She added as Rukia actually rose to her feet, shakily but still graceful.

"I'm not leaving him," She said sternly, her eyes burning into the yellow ones of the noble, who sighed sadly, "Rukia, they can't see you, you're in soul form, you need to go back to the shop to get into your gigai." Yoruichi finished as gently as she could as Rukia's face contorted in pain and she turned her head back to the still form of Ichigo. _Another fucking difference,_ she thought bitterly - as the sound and lights of the ambulance broke into her thoughts - _I'm dead and he's not._

Orihime still knelt beside Ichigo as two men stepped from the ambulance, pulling a heavy medical bag with them and a stretcher. Yoruichi and Urahara stood a little further back. Rukia and Renji hovered just to the left, out of sight and mind.

"Hello, can you tell me what's going on?" One of the paramedics asked, dropping to his knees beside Ichigo.

"His name is Ichigo, he f-fell and he hasn't got up since." Orihime lied as the two paramedics shared a look.

"Did he fall miss or did he jump?" They asked looking up at the tall building they were beside.

"N-no," Orihime said emphatically shaking her head, "He was putting something up and he fell."

"Okay ma'am," The other one said, "Just step back and we'll take good care of your boyfriend," He said with a small smile as Orihime's eyes widened and Rukia's nails bit into the palm of her hand.

"Oh no, he's not my boyfriend!" Orihime stuttered at once, her eyes glancing in Rukia's direction.

"Oh sorry," The paramedic said, his eyes spotting the silver band on Ichigo's finger, "Your husband is in good hands." He added as he pulled an oxygen mask out of his bag.

All eyes had turned to Rukia at the man's words, but she didn't even react, she just kept her eyes fixed on Ichigo who was having an oxygen mask placed over his face. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. Wishing she was in her gigai and cursing it all at once. "I'm going back to the shop." She said without emotion as she quickly turned away, turning her back on the scene as Renji snapped to attention but she had already jumped away before he had the good sense to do the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The action slows down in this chapter so don't be too disappointed. And once again, I mean no offence to anyone.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo.**

_Chapter two: Never_

_Ichigo woke with a start but kept his eyes firmly shut. His body felt heavy and sedated, almost as if he had gone a few rounds with that crazy bastard Kenpachi. He stretched a little in the bed he was in and with a jolt of confusion he realized it wasn't his own. The sheets below him were the smoothest of silk and it was much larger than his own bed. _

_He tentatively cracked open an eye, but immediately shut it again to protect it from the bright sunlight shining through the window. He let out a contented sigh, he may have felt sedated but he also felt content, almost happy, no he was certain that he was happy. He felt something stir beside him and both eyes snapped open despite the sunlight attempting to blind them._

_When he saw her, he couldn't help the soft smile that graced his features, and it was a smile, a true one, not some stupid smirk that he normally threw on. No this one was the real thing, and as the ebony haired young woman moved slightly on the silk sheets, he knew exactly why the smile was the real thing._

_She was lying on her front, her head turned away from him. Just like himself she was naked, her skin shining, shimmering in the morning light and he could see a lot of her naturally pale flesh, everything from the waist up. Her legs and bottom where hidden from him by the silk blanket that pooled around her waist and he couldn't resist reaching out a hand and running it down the smooth skin of her back, his fingers lightly tracing her spine and then resting in the dip of her lower back, his thumb grazing lightly over the smooth surface. His eyes were drawn to a flash of silver every time his hand moved, he drew his head back slightly to see what it was, oh yeah, he thought happily, his wedding ring._

"_Pervert," A gruff alto voice said waking him from his stupor, that stupid smile of his widened as the woman in the bed turned her head around, her hair messy yet still perfect, stuck to her skin. She raised a hand and clumsily moved it away so he could see all of her face and those eyes, those breathtaking violet depths of hers._

"_Hey," He breathed softly as she let a smile grace her own features, the realization of where they where and why hitting her. She reached the hand that had fixed her own hair and lightly threaded it through his own soft locks. "Hi, pervert," She said her eyes closing sleepily and happily as he watched her._

"_Why am I a pervert?" He asked casually, his thumb still rubbing circles in her skin loving and relishing the feel of her shivering slightly under his touch every time he did, his hand teasing lower with every brush. _

"_Because you're touching me," She said almost breathlessly and he felt a self-satisfied smirk now mingle with his smile, it was too easy._

"_But I can touch you," He said calmly as he shifted closer to her so he could feel the heat radiating of her body, "Because you're my wife." He said victoriously as she let her hand trail down from his hair to rest on his chest, his muscles quivering under her touch. "And I can touch you anytime I want," He said almost possessively, but she understood what he was getting at._

"_Hmm, yes, but you see that works both ways husband, I can touch you anytime_ I want _as well you know," She answered back less breathlessly than before and he cocked an eyebrow. _

"_Then touch me," He goaded as her eyes widened slightly at his bold statement before she gave a non-committal shrug and reached down his body to _touch him_. He immediately jerked forward a shocked, strangled gasp leaving him. She smiled wickedly feeling his already risen desire._

_This whole thing was new to them, not the touching part, they'd done that before, they'd seen the other naked, and they'd brought each other to incredible highs. But they'd saved going the whole way until last night, and it had been nothing like he'd expected, it'd been a thousand times greater than he'd ever hoped, and as she continued to stroke him, he knew it had been the same for her._

_He flipped her over suddenly, eliciting a small scream of shock from her, before bending his mouth down low to graze her ear with his teeth, feeling her hands grasp at his arms as he did. "My turn," He breathed against her skin as he kissed her gently on her neck. This marriage thing was going to be pretty good._

Ichigo woke with a start but kept his eyes firmly shut. His body felt heavy and sedated, almost as if he had gone a few rounds with that crazy bastard Kenpachi. He stretched a little in the bed he was in and with a jolt of confusion he realized it wasn't his own. The sheets were coarse under his skin and strange beeping sounds made his already throbbing headache worsen.

He cracked open an eyelid, the room was dark and blurry and he didn't recognize it at all. He quickly shut his eye again and tried to get some sense of self. He made to sit up, that was when he realized it. His eyes snapped open immediately as he tried his hardest - his breathing quickening, his heart racing and his mind panicking - but he couldn't no matter how much he willed it, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't feel his legs. Nor could he move them.

He let out a grunt of fear, he was panting as if he had just run a marathon and he told himself not to panic, he just couldn't: Why the fuck couldn't he move? The beeping beside him was getting louder and faster, the sweat dripped of his body as he clenched the sheets below him and he felt tears of terror grip his eyes. He didn't even realize that someone had now entered the unoccupied room and was quickly at his side.

"Ichigo, stop, stop, it's okay," She said soothingly, her hands gripping his shoulders pushing his straining body down. He immediately felt his jaw relax he hadn't even realized that he'd clenched it so much. He was still gasping for breath, still panicking, a glance down told him his legs were still there, but why couldn't he feel them?

"Rukia," He said to the person who was now staring at him warily, he felt his heart still beating too fast in his chest and he allowed her hand to come down and rest over it.

"Relax Ichigo, everything is okay," She said quietly, her alto tones, her gentle caresses easing his breathing, slowing his pulse. He swallowed thickly, his eyes transfixed on hers, burning deep questions into her inky depths which were giving him no answers, just promises. He never looked away and neither did she, the two just stared at the others eyes not even blinking until Ichigo's breathing was back under control, his heart rate stabilized, the beeping quieter and less chaotic.

"I can't feel my legs," He said in a painfully choked voice, and her fingers clenched momentarily in their position on his shoulder and chest.

"I know," She answered softly and he finally looked away, his eyes screwed tightly shut, he drew in a deep breath.

"Why?" He croaked as he looked back to her, begging her for just once to give him something more than nothing with her gaze. She looked like she always did when the going got too tough, when questions she couldn't face where asked, when he needed what she couldn't give. Cold, emotionless, distant and hollow.

She was saved from answering when the door opened and a man he didn't recognize walked in, his eyes lined with bags and for the first time Ichigo wondered why he was here and what even was here.

"Ah good you're awake," He said kindly but tiredly. "My name is Doctor Masuda here at Karakura General." He glanced between Ichigo's pale and scared face to the controlled one of his wife's, who was standing with her arms crossed over her chest. He sighed sadly, this sort of thing was never easy especially not at four in the morning.

"I'm afraid you have been in an accident Mr Kurosaki," He said slowly, his eyes darting between the pair, "A friend of yours was with you when you seemingly fell of a building, do you remember?" He asked as Ichigo looked up at Rukia's unchanging expression.

He closed his eyes for a moment, he was in hospital why the hell had Orihime or Tessai not healed him, hell why hadn't Rukia just healed him? And what was this about falling of a building? He hadn't fallen of anything, he'd been fighting and then...then...

He opened his eyes when the flash of a crumbling yellow mask invaded his vision and he remembered slightly what was happening. That hollow, it had done something to the thing they'd been carrying and it had activated. He'd grabbed it, he looked down at his hands which were completely healed, well at least he thought he'd grabbed it. Then he couldn't remember much, he just remembered blue light, and then pain and then nothing.

"I, uh," His voice still sounded shaky to his ears, "I don't remember," He said looking once again from the doctor who nodded his head and wrote something down on a clipboard and Rukia who was staring unseeingly out the darkened window, though he noticed how white her knuckles were from clenching her skin, he wanted to take her hand and run his fingers across hers to stop it.

"That's perfectly normal in these circumstances," The Doctor said reassuringly, "You don't seem to be suffering from any head trauma which is good news, however," Ichigo noted how the doctor sucked in a huge breath of air, "You seem to have damaged some of the vertebrae in your back, and as a result it has caused paralysis in the lower half of your body." The words fell on the pair and Ichigo's breathing quickened once more, so that's why he couldn't move his legs, or even fucking feel them.

"Is it permanent?" He asked as strongly as he could but still painfully and embarrassingly weak. He saw Rukia stir from the corner of his eye and then felt her hand reach for his before the doctor spoke, delivered the blow. He grasped like a dying man at her small hand, reveling once again in the power of those tiny digits and the way it seemed to flow through his very core.

"The damage is extensive," The doctor replied slowly, "We won't know until we've done some more tests, but for now I don't want to say anything that will give you false hope." Such a diplomatic answer but he and Rukia could read through the lines, _you'll probably never walk again._ His grip tightened on Rukia's hand, or hers tightened on his, it didn't matter, he was just glad she was here with him.

"I suggest that the two of you get some rest, and we can talk more in the morning," The doctor spoke before turning to leave, "If you need anything don't hesitate to call the nurse." He added almost sadly, noticing their tense faces.

"Thank you Doctor," Rukia said finally speaking for the first time since he'd entered the room, the doctor nodded once in response before he was out the door and leaving nothing but a beeping machine and two broken souls behind.

"What the fuck is going on?" Ichigo asked at once tugging on her hand, attempting to get her to look at him. He could feel her tensing, he could feel her trying to let go so he tightened his grip, painfully, so that she finally looked up. "Please Rukia," He begged softly and her face contorted slightly, the first crack appearing in the mask.

"You need to rest, we can talk in the morning," She tried to appease him, throw him of.

"No, we can talk right now," He said stubbornly, he always was demanding, but once they married he'd changed slightly in the way he spoke to her, he'd become dominant but on equal terms with her. He gave her the respect she wanted and in return she gave the same to him. It was one of the reasons they worked so well together. Even when he was just a fifteen year old boy, he'd always treated her like an equal, something she was totally unaccustomed to. "Why am I lying in a fucking hospital? Why didn't you guys just heal me? Why can't I feel my fucking legs?" His voice was needy, insistent, scared and it broke her heart to hear it.

She acquiesced, for his sanity and her own. "Orihime tried to heal you, she was able to heal the wounds on your hands," She ran the tips of her fingers along the palm of his right hand. "But when that device exploded its reiatsu merged with yours and her powers had no effect on your back." She said it as efficiently and as emotionally detached as possible.

"Then why didn't you take me back to Urahara's or Soul Society or hell even my old man's?" At least he didn't sound like a helpless little kid anymore he thought as he practically shouted at her. She had pulled her hand away from him again and he felt cold, right down to his soul. He tried to regain his flailing composure and his raging temper.

"Because if anyone with reiatsu tries to heal you, the exact same thing is going to happen to them!" She retorted back and his eyes widened slightly, "Or don't you think I'd have fucking healed you already?" She added testily and he swallowed hard, his eyes softening at her.

"I'm sor-" He began to say but she cut him off with a fierce glare and her hand over his mouth.

"Don't you dare apologize to me," She said angrily, his brow creased even further in confusion, "Don't you dare make me the victim. You're the one lying there in that bed, you're the one hurting, don't you..." She choked on her words, and his face relaxed immediately, realization dawning on him as he grabbed her hands and pulled her bodily into his arms.

She gripped on to him like a life line, like he was the only thing she had left and in many ways he was. He smoothed his hand down her hair as she shook against him. "I don't know how to fix you," She gasped painfully against his chest and he stilled his movements momentarily.

"I'm scared Rukia," He admitted as she pulled back slightly, her eyes glistening with her unshed tears, she rubbed her thumb across his cheek and he pressed his face deeper into her palm. She smiled at him, it was small but it was so pure and tender that it warmed him from his head to his toes, or it would have if he could feel them. He laughed in spite of himself at the painfully awful, tasteless joke.

"I remember the last time you said those words to me," She said quietly, as she shifted slightly so that she was lying completely beside him on the bed, one of her arms acting as his pillow, holding him close against her body. Her other arm was laced with his fingers and lying across his chest.

He scoffed at the memory, the panic and shock of the moment wearing off slightly all because of her. "Yeah but I had good reason for saying it last time," He joked back nuzzling in closer to her neck.

"So you say," She answered, "But do you remember how it turned out? Do you regret that you went through it?" She asked pulling back so she could see his eyes.

"Of course not," He said at once, "Otherwise I wouldn't have showed up for the wedding at all." He snaked his unoccupied arm under her side so he could pull her closer to him. He needed it, needed to feel her; it was the only thing holding him together right now. Her soothing tone, her light laugh and he knew she knew it, the way her fingers tightened in his, the way her other hand cradled his head against her chest. They needed each other.

"Well I'm glad you did," She replied softly, "Otherwise I would have killed you." She added as he laughed, though it did sound hollow to both occupants of the room. "Please don't be scared," she whispered against his forehead and he pressed it further against her mouth. "I promise it's going to be okay, we'll get through this Ichigo." Her grip tightened as she spoke and he shut his eyes tightly.

"Don't leave me," He said so quietly he wasn't sure she heard it or not but after a moment, "Never," she breathed and he knew she understood and he knew she meant it. With that thought in mind and Rukia's breathing evening out against him, he allowed his mind to switch of and sleep to claim him.

The next few days passed in a complete blur, test after test, specialist after specialist. The doctors couldn't say for certain what was wrong, or if the damage was permanent or not. Of course Rukia already knew what had caused it, and her gut told her to fear the worse. What they were hoping for was a solution, maybe something that human medicine could do that theirs couldn't, though she firmly believed it to be a long shot, the others had assured her it was for the best. All she really wanted to do was take him home, and never leave him again. Make it so it was just the two of them, no doctors, no nurses or weird machines or annoying visitors wearing hats and clogs or his family who meant well. No, she wanted it to be just her, and just him. She needed that.

She felt disgusting, her hair was in desperate need of a wash and she had barely eaten or slept in a week since he'd been brought in. She went home only once the whole time when Ichigo ordered Renji to physically carry her to their house for a shower and a change of clothes. Whilst she did both those things, she still made sure to give both men matching bruises the next time she saw them.

Ichigo's reaction and then subsequent inaction was scaring her. He'd been so quiet and subdued; he barely put up a fight anymore, almost as if he had just given up. Though she knew that he would never do that, the way he was acting was really frightening her and she found that she didn't like it, this new silent Ichigo. Where was the fighting and the screaming and hell, where was his potty mouth? It was like his personality had been paralyzed along with his legs.

She sighed as she walked down the empty, stale, corridor to his room. Urahara had been researching day and night since the incident - as they were calling it - he believed that there had to be something they could do, despite the fact that any previous victims had suffered a similar fate. But not one for giving up, he'd thrown himself into discovering the cure, if he did, they'd probably have to name their first child after him in gratitude. She reached the door, a shudder running down her spine at such as thought as she walked into the now oh so familiar room.

His face lit up momentarily when he saw her, just like it always did when she first walked into a room. He had told her once that she was his ray of light, she'd called him a cheesy bastard, kissed him on the cheek and that had been the end of that particular conversation. But now, looking at his eyes flicker briefly into life for a glorious moment, she felt herself humbled by the realization that it was probably true.

"Rukia," He said with a small smile, she returned it immediately as she strode quickly to his side. "Did you get something to eat?" He asked concerned as she immediately opened her mouth to lie to him.

"Yes, I got something to eat, now stop nagging," She chided without heat and she saw him relax slightly, guilt and worry for her eating away at him. In truth she couldn't stomach the hospital food, instead she broke onto the roof, she needed to get away from all the noise. It had helped clear her mind, the air up there. She wished she could have taken him with her.

"Did the doctor come back yet?" She asked sitting down beside him, in the small plastic chair she had claimed as her own.

"No," He replied almost sullenly, she smirked inwardly, he may be twenty-two but he was more like a big child sometimes. She knew how much he hated just sitting around doing nothing. Ichigo was a man of action not patience and right now he had to be very patient.

He'd spent most of the week practicing getting in and out of a wheelchair without assistance, she knew he wasn't one to ask for help, and his pride wouldn't allow anyone, especially her, to lend him a hand. So he was getting stronger, working on his upper body strength so that when the time came, when they finally get home, he wouldn't be a burden to her. She shook her head sadly; he could _never_ be a burden to her.

"You look like crap," He said disinterestedly as he flicked through a men's health magazine, she rolled her eyes as she pulled one of his Shakespeare books into her hands.

"So do you darling husband, what a pair we make," She replied conversationally, raising an eyebrow at the complicated sentences of his favorite bard. "How the hell do you read this shit?" She asked with disgust throwing the book back down.

"Hey!" He yelled, reaching for his precious tome, "Could you please respect my _shit_?" She flicked her eyes to his, glad to see his potty mouth making a cameo and hoping that he was over his moping about. She couldn't exactly kick him in front of a hollow like she normally did to get him to wise up. "It's not my fault you can't appreciate good literature," He added with a small smirk as she folded her arms across her chest.

"It's not my fault that Shakespeare can't write stuff that actually makes sense!" She half yelled back, her face coming closer to his unintentionally as it normally did when they argued. They both seemed to notice how close they were, his eyes darting all across her haggard appearance. He moved his head closer, his lips brushing hers and sending the familiar sparks through her entire being.

She pressed a little harder against his rough lips, loving the feel of his mouth against hers as she angled her head and closed her eyes.

The way he kissed her, his hand rising up to thread into her hair, it was like none of this had happened, that they were back at home, in their room with only the other for company. Not a dozen beeping instruments and annoying calls over the loud speaker for a doctor to ward six, just him and her.

The door snapping open ripped them apart, both a little red, but none redder than Doctor Masuda who coughed awkwardly. "Sorry," He said embarrassed as Ichigo grinned sheepishly back and Rukia crossed her arms immediately. _Stupid,_ she thought, _getting embarrassed for kissing - _making out with_ - my own husband! _

"So I have some news for you both," The Doctor said with another cough taking a step towards them "We have your latest test results back and they are all positive so you can go home today," He finished as Ichigo and Rukia shared a shocked look.

"So soon?" Ichigo asked hopefully, his heart beating quickly in anticipation.

"I know you're not out of the woods yet, but there is no reason for you to be here. I'm happy that you can get in and out of your wheelchair, and I've spoken to your wife already about your home and how ready it is, She has assured me that she has everything prepared." The doctor finished kindly, a nod in Rukia's direction as she smiled back. Ichigo looked at her wondering when she had the chance to do this, she flashed him a look that said, later.

"We'll obviously need to keep you monitored and you'll need to come back for more checkups, but you could be home by dinner if you want to," Doctor Masuda said glancing at his watch and back up again at the young man.

He was surprised by how well he was taking this, normally men his age needed extreme amounts of counseling to come to terms with what's happening to them. It had only been a week and yet he was ready to send him home, this was practically unheard of. As he pondered these things, he watched the orange haired man share a significant look with the young woman, there were no words, just a look and the Doctor wondered if she was the reason he was taking the whole thing so well.

He was starting to gather that the girl was some sort of enigma. He knew she looked young, younger than the man given her height and slight stature, but the way she spoke, the dark memories hidden in her eyes made her seem much, much older than she really was. She looked like someone who had had to endure a lot of suffering, and come through it without losing themselves completely. The few times they had spoken, she was cold, rigid and spoke with all the grace that a noble would. But then he would see her in moments like these, and her eyes would come alive with cold fire and she seemed to possess such passion that he realized that she hid behind as many layers and masks that she could, that she was conditioned to act so frigid and unapproachable. But when she was with the young man, she couldn't or rather didn't want to hide herself anymore. They really were a strange couple.

"So how about it Ichigo, you ready to go home?" The doctor asked shaking himself from his observations and back to the task on hand. The young man's face lit up with barely disguised hope.

"Sure, I guess," Ichigo replied with a disinterested shrug, but secretly inside he was jumping around like a child on Christmas Eve. Rukia gave him a small smile at his pathetic attempt at remaining unfazed.

"Good," The doctor said a smile of his own, "If you could come with me Mrs Kurosaki we can fill out the necessary paper work and get you both on your way."

"Of course," She said at once, standing up gracefully from her chair, "lead the way," She lightly commanded before flashing Ichigo a grin and following the doctor out of the room.

Ichigo's head hit the pillows, a grin on his own face; He was going home!

It was cold outside, a bitter February wind swirled around them as they made their way to Ichigo's car which his father had left for them. It was a good thing Ichigo had insisted that Rukia learn how to drive, though it had almost cost him his car, and his life teaching her. He made his way to the passenger side, pulling the door open and angling his chair so he could lift himself out of it like he'd been shown in physio. Rukia immediately followed him, her face blank. He grunted slightly as he awkwardly pulled himself out of the chair, the muscles in his arms straining and shaking as he did and he lifted himself over into the seat, his legs dragging behind him. He pulled them into the car with another soft grunt.

"We need a bigger car," He said panting slightly, that had been a lot harder than he'd imagined it was going to be. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the headrest, he hated that Rukia had to see him like this, but secretly glad that he didn't have to do it alone.

"I always said that," Rukia replied grabbing his wheelchair and folding it down, "You always had problems fitting your fat head in," She added brightly as she slammed the door in his face before he could object or think up a retort. When she entered the car again he was pouting like a baby. She turned the ignition on and set off with a self-satisfied grin on her face.

"So how come all the things are ready at home?" He asked staring out the window at passing houses, children running and playing. He looked away.

"Your father," She replied at once, eyes trained on the road, "He said he had some stuff at the clinic and that he and Urahara would sort it out for us. I saw some of it when Renji manhandled me home," She added a little aggressively on the end and he gulped hoping she wouldn't bruise him again.

"How's this going to work Rukia?" He asked hesitantly, voicing the main concern he'd been thinking about aloud.

"How's what going to work?" She responded at once, turning the corner just a few streets from home.

"This, us, you and me, how's this going to work? Are you going to be living in Soul Society and me here or what?" He didn't mean to sound so demanding, but they kept talking in physio that routine and consistency was very important. But there was nothing routine or consistent about his life; his wife was dead for goodness sake. He heard her sigh and he knew the question hadn't gone unasked in her own mind.

"I've already spoken to the necessary people," She said robotically, he hated when she spoke like this, like she forgot that he could see right through her, "I will go to Soul Society every morning, and then return just before dinner, like a real job I suppose," She told him as they entered another familiar street just one from home. "If that doesn't work, then I guess we'll have to think about the possibility you may need to move back in with your family." She said pulling into their street as he balked.

"Oh hell no, no way am I living with that crazy old man, especially like this! I can't get away," He said darkly, "No I'll just make do on my own, I have before." She pulled into the space outside their apartment with an abrupt stop and Ichigo inwardly thanked whoever invented seat belts.

"Dammit Ichigo, you are going to have to get it through your thick skull that you cannot do this alone, not this time." She turned with eyes blazing towards him and he shrunk under such a fiery look.

He swallowed thickly before replying, "Fine, we'll do this your way," He said looking away from that intense gaze of hers. He heard her sigh lightly before he felt her reach across and press her lips against his cheek. "Don't we always do it my way? You think you'd be used to it by now," He shivered as she spoke and turned just in time to see her smirking at him.

Getting into the house had been easy, thankfully they lived on the ground floor and their apartment was really small. One bedroom, one bathroom and a small kitchen/living area. Whilst it was tiny, the fact they had little furniture made it very easy for Ichigo to get around. The wheelchair fitted effortlessly through all the doorways, and even around the sofa.

The kitchen was a little cramped, but his dad had put new fixtures on all the appliances and all of the cabinets had been placed lower down so he could now get at everything. He rubbed the bump on his head from where Rukia had chucked a tin of peaches at him for saying that it was lucky he was like this cause now she could reach all the stuff in the kitchen too.

The bathroom also had a bit of work done to it, poles and bars had been put in strategic places to help him get on and off the toilet and in and out of the bath. He was infinitely grateful for this, male orderlies had been helping him use the bathroom all week, and even his dad had done it once. He didn't think his male pride could take it if he had to ask Rukia to help him use the toilet, or shower. He was sure she'd have no objection, but some things he needed to do for himself. Like number twos. A panic alarm had also been installed so that he could call for help if he needed it, but again he'd rather stick his head in the oven than pull that damn red cord.

Apart from the kitchen and the bathroom, not much had changed in their little home and he found himself looking much more positively on the whole situation. He was sure that he'd be able to walk again, he had to, he couldn't just sit around forever. He was Ichigo Kurosaki, most powerful soul reaper in existence, he _had_ to get better.

He'd gone to bed early that night, glad to be back in his own bed. Rukia joined him shortly after, he knew she was tired, that she hadn't been taking care of herself properly because she was so worried about him. But she looked much better now that she was home and she'd taken a shower and had a proper meal. Yeah things had to pick up he thought as she pulled him into her arms. The last few nights in the hospital she had been the one to hold him when it used to be the other way around, but as she settled him against her warm chest, his arms tightening around her back he found that he was glad for this little moment, where he didn't have to act tough all the time. Rukia understood him, knew he needed to beat this thing, so she held him and he let her.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hello, thanks to everyone who has followed/favourited/reviewed so far, Im glad people seem to like this story.**

**Another slow chapter that is mostly filler, just to show what Ichigo has been up to and coming to terms with whats happening to him and trying to cope with it. But I promise the action picks up in the next couple of chapters. Again I don't mean any offence by the themes of this story.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo**

_Chapter 3: I can't feel it_

Ichigo sat watching daytime TV, there was _nothing_ worse than daytime tv. He didn't care that some woman thought her younger playboy boyfriend was having an affair with her daughter. Life was horrible enough sometimes without having to watch other people complain about it.

He sighed and switched the contraption off, the static sound dying out at once leaving his small little apartment in an eerie but welcoming silence. It was a little after eleven in the morning, Rukia had been gone most of the morning, out shopping she'd said and he had readily declined to accompany her. Shopping with Rukia was up there with fighting an Espada; he would rather avoid that particularly unpleasant battle.

He was sitting on the couch that blasted chair of his shoved haphazardly into a forgotten corner so he wouldn't have to see it. He was bored of just sitting here, of being stuck in one place. He looked around his forlorn room, it was starting to get kind of messy, his discarded drink cans, rubbish and empty packets of food just littering around.

It had been four days since he'd gotten out of the hospital and it was just four days of mind numbingly boring nothing. It had taken him next to no time getting used to doing things without his legs. He wasn't really surprised by this, after all he learnt Bankai in less than three days, so this was nothing.

What was really getting to him was the terrifying realisation that this was life now. He couldn't deal with that, sure he'd learnt how to take a shower, wash the dishes and make food from a wheelchair, but the thought of every day living. No he couldn't do that; the thought terrified him so much that he let out a yell of frustration. Panic set in deep into his bones and he took deep steadying breaths to calm himself.

He lurched forward and grabbed his chair and threw himself whole bodily into it, this room was too messy he decided, he was going to clean it. _Anything_ to stop thinking what he'd been thinking.

He made good progress, the rubbish had taken no time at all even if he did rather irritatingly drop everything when he crashed into the coffee table, so maybe he didn't have this chair thing down as well as he thought. He worked methodically keeping his mind firmly on the task at hand; it was the only way to stop it from wandering.

Once he'd tidied up in the living area, he made his way into the kitchen; lap filled with several used glasses and plates and dumped them into the sink. Suddenly thankful of his tall frame he was still able to reach the sink though it was, albeit, a bit of an awkward stretch.

He washed diligently, scrubbing each dish with warm soapy water as he hummed a small tune, one Rukia would hum to him when she thought he was asleep. It was a song from her childhood she'd told him, he liked that song even if she couldn't quite remember the words.

Once he'd finished washing and had dried the dishes he began to put them away. With a frown and biting the inside of his cheek he realised that he couldn't reach the glasses cupboard to put them way. Rukia had been getting the glasses all week, he was quite content to just drink from the bottle but she thought it was disgusting.

He shrugged half-heartedly, reached for the ledge of the countertop and heaved himself up on it. For one heart stopping moment, as his arms shook dangerously, he thought he might not have the strength to pull his numb legs up with him. With a heavy grunt and ignoring the sweat that had formed on his brow, he managed to get himself onto the counter and allowed himself to exhale in relief. _That was a close one_, he thought with a shake of the head.

He smirked guiltily when he thought of what Rukia would say if she saw him up here. He began to put away the glasses, even though his body was twisted at an awkward angle, he had almost finished when the last glass slipped on the edge of the shelf, smacked off his leg and smashed instantly upon impact.

"Shit!" He swore loudly as the glass shattered all over the kitchen floor and the counters. "Seriously how is there so much glass?" He grumbled not even registering that the glass had smashed on his leg, he hadn't felt it.

He was just about to push himself off the counter when he froze like a dear in headlights, his eyes widening at the look of complete and utter fury on his small wife's face.

"R-Rukia…"He stuttered fearfully as she somehow managed to cross her arms over her chest despite them being full of shopping bags. "I can explain?" He said a little lamely as she narrowed her eyes dangerously and he gulped. Only Rukia could make him feel this scared for his own safety.

"Oh really, did you suddenly turn into a monkey?" She asked sceptically, as he gulped again.

"I couldn't reach to put the glasses away," He ignored his heated face at admitting that, something flickered behind Rukia's eyes when he said it, "So I just climbed up to put them away."

"And failed miserably at it?"

"A little bit, yeah…" He said a little sheepishly and scratching the back of his neck. He made to slide off but she stopped him.

"Don't move idiot, there is glass all over your chair," She said coming forward and dumping the bags she was holding on an empty countertop before grabbing a small brush and pan and beginning to sweep the shattered glass up. Ichigo watched as she worked. A smile on his lips at her being all domesticated, normally it was he who took care of all the household stuff. She and the vacuum cleaner did not mix and he was still terrified whenever she used the washing machine. As much as he liked all of his whites a nice light pink colour, he refused point blank to let her use it so washing chores where left up to him.

She moved efficiently, her hands deftly swiping up all the glass on the floor, his chair and finally to either side of his own body still resting on the counter top. She looked up at him as he towered over her from his lofty perch.

"What?" She asked, as his stupid grin grew wider, he shook his head trying to keep his face clear but failing miserably.

"Nothing,"

"Seriously what?" she asked her hand on her hip, the other holding the glass filled pan.

"How does it feel to be shorter than me again?" He asked with a smirk and he laughed when he heard her mutter bastard before her hand connected with his thigh.

"Ha!" He said triumphantly but not really sure why he was celebrating this fact, "I didn't feel it," He teased lightly as she flashed him her best dirty look. As she withdrew her hand he noticed something red on her palm. His fingers grabbed her wrist. "Rukia you're bleeding," He said his frown back in its rightful place on his head. She gasped as he turned her hand so she could see.

She quickly looked at her hand, then his leg, her other hand splaying her fingers over his thigh. "I'm not bleeding Ichigo, you are idiot," She scolded softly as she peered intently at the thin piece of glass lodged into his leg. "Fuck, I need to get this out," She said attempting to pull her hand free from his grip.

"I can't feel it," He said quietly staring at the blood blossoming on his grey sweat pants, his face screwed up at the red stain that he knew was there.

"Ichigo, I need to get the first aid kit," She said trying to twist free but he held on fast, finally she looked up at him in a huff of irritation.

"Rukia," His voice was tight and his eyes blared hard into her own, "I _can't _feel it," He stressed as her own violet eyes stared back, widening slightly, she tensed her jaw.

"That doesn't mean it's not there Ichigo," She answered slowly, her eyes giving away the double meaning of her sentence, a frown marring her beautiful skin as she pulled herself gently free and she began to strip the ruined fabric away to get a better look.

Neither spoke for a moment as she pulled the grey material away to see the extent of the damage. She sighed before leaving him, his head pressed back against the cupboard still watching the cut he couldn't feel. It was all very surreal he contemplated, as he watched Rukia come back in with the first aid kit his father had given them. She pulled out a pair of scissors and cut some of the fabric away. "Sorry bout your pants," She mumbled her eyes fixed on her work.

"Doesn't matter," He answered blandly as he watched her, his whole body stiff. It was so strange seeing the blood but not feeling it, he wasn't sure he was wholly comfortable with that.

She braced his leg with her hand as she grabbed a set of tweezers and slowly closed them over the glass. "This might hur- oh…" She drowned off her face flushed at what she had said.

"Yeah, it won't" Ichigo replied a little sullenly sucking in a breath before saying, "I could pretend it hurts if that helps?" He asked as carefree as he could but the words sounded so bitter to both occupants of the room.

"Ichigo, that's not funny," She said with tight lips, her own incompetence coming back to haunt her. It was a slip of the tongue, a slip of the mind. She knew he couldn't feel it, it was just-

"Habit," Ichigo said and her head snapped up.

"What?" She asked her hand poised on the tweezers.

"It's a bad habit I have making inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times." His eyes were downcast as he spoke, a sad sigh leaving his lips. She straightened up abruptly and he blinked at her. In one hand she held the tweezers, the glass firmly in the middle of the two metal fingers. Her other hand was placing a band-aid over the cut.

"It's weird," He admitted after a minute as he stared at the bloody glass sitting beside him.

"What is?" She asked her eyes focused on his leg once more.

"Not feeling it," She finally looked up at his words, "I feel like there should be pain and there isn't and it's just…"

"Weird?"

"Yeah, weird." A few minutes of silence later and she pulled back with a small smile.

"All better," She told him and he frowned deeply.

"Not quite," tumbled from his lips before he could stop himself. He instantly regretted saying it as her face contorted slightly.

"Ichigo," She said slowly as she pulled back so he could lift himself of the counter. He hadn't told her yet, but he always loved that she never tried to help him, that she understood that he needed to do this for himself.

"I'm sorry, no more depressing yeah?" He asked flashing her a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes but it was enough to satisfy her for now. She rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through his hair.

"You better go get cleaned up," She said softly and he frowned, his eyes almost closing at her gently spoken words and her even more gentle ministrations to his hair.

"Why?" He asked sleepily as her nails raked softly against his scalp and he bit his lip to hold in a moan.

"Because you're taking me out to dinner," She whispered into his ear, her hot breath caressing his skin and he could feel the hair on his arms prickle. "That okay?" She asked her lips teasing his cheek.

"Sure, wherever you want," He groaned, his eyes rolling in his head. He _loved_ when she would play with his hair like that; she normally did it when they lay in bed at night, or sometimes when they were watching a moving or something.

"Promise?" She questioned both hands now working hard against his scalp.

"Yes, I promise," He answered breathlessly, no sooner had the words left his mouth had her hands left his hair and she was pressing a swift kiss against his startled and confused lips.

"Good, because I want to go to Chappy land for dinner and you're paying," With that said she bounded happily from the room. He blinked for a moment, his sluggish mind trying to play catch up. Rukia was already half way down the hall when she heard him yell.

"Dammit Rukia! Not again!" He groaned rubbing his hand against his face as he realised that she had tricked him once again into getting her own way. She had used the 'play with Ichigo's hair' method way too many times for his pride to be able to handle it and it was always to get him to commit to something really stupid. She'd first found out this particular nugget of information when he'd been fifteen and since then she'd managed to put it to _very _good use. For her only of course.

"I hate Chappy Land," Ichigo grumbled as they stood outside the vibrantly bright Restaurant. Pleasant little white rabbits were hopping happily inside their little pen in the window. Rukia's grin was huge and wide as she stood smugly beside him.

He glanced up at her; he found it strange now glancing up not down at her. He didn't like it he decided; Rukia did _not_ need to be any more dominant than she currently was.

"Oh quit your moaning," She said with an all too smug voice, "You promised that I could go anywhere I wanted," She flashed him a toothy grin.

"I'm going to shave my head," He threatened without any real conviction. She gave him a 'yeah right' look before laughing lightly and walking in to the restaurant.

It had to be illegally bright in here, Ichigo thought as an overly happy waitress greeted them.

"Welcome to Chappy land, Table for two?" She asked her smile faltering ever so slightly as her eyes raked over Ichigo.

"Yes please," Rukia replied happily and he thought it was _almost _worth it to bring her here.

"Will you be requiring any extra assistance today?" The waitress asked as she brought the pair to a table out of the way, quickly removing one of the existing chairs so Ichigo's own would fit in. He told himself not to let it bother him; this was the exact reason why he'd confined himself to the house the last four days. He hated this.

"No, we'll be fine thank you," Rukia answered a little stiffly as the waitress took their drink orders and left them two menu's.

"Why did we have to go out?" Ichigo muttered, his finger playing with the fork on the table.

"Because you were vegetating inside the house cooping yourself up the way you were. You need to get out more," She answered watching him as he shrugged in response.

"What can I say, me and the couch formed an emotional attachment, sorry Rukia you've got competition," He flashed her a weak grin as the waitress returned with their drinks.

"I'll take my chances," She answered with a raised eyebrow. They ordered their meals, Rukia saying all the cutesy nicknames given to the items on the menu, Ichigo just grunting 'burger'. As soon as the blonde waitress left Rukia chastised him for it.

"You're no fun," She griped jokingly as they stared around the busy restaurant, children running around and yelling. Ichigo's eyes wandered to Rukia's and he wondered what she was thinking about, his question was answered a second later.

"I think we should get a bunny," she said seriously as he burst into laughter, "How is that funny?" She demanded lightly as his snickers died away.

"Yeah and who's gonna take care of it? It certainly won't be me," He answered whilst wiping the tears of laughter from his face. She crossed her arms furiously over her chest and pouted.

"I hate you," She said without any real conviction, his smirk only widened.

"Yeah yeah," He responded with a wave of the hand before running it through his hair.

"Have you decided what you're going to do yet?" She asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"With what?" He replied his eyes flicking back to hers over the top of his drink he was currently sipping from.

"About University?" She answered as if it was the most obvious thing as he sighed and set his drink down.

"I was thinking I was just gonna drop out," He mumbled not looking at her, he could still see her hand tighten on her glass, hear her gasp of surprise.

"But Ichigo, you're already half way through your PhD you can't just give up now." She said quickly trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Just because you're like this doesn't mean you can't do the things you did before you know," She told him sourly.

"Oh so after this we can go hollow hunting? Yeah right Rukia there is _a lot_ of things that I can't do now that I could before" He answered bitterly closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the flash of hurt across Rukia's face that would undoubtedly be there.

"Ichigo, it'll get easier," He heard her say, he finally worked up the courage to look at her, the amount of hope shinning in her violet eyes almost blew him away. He swallowed thickly.

"I just don't feel like continuing my PhD, not at the moment," He amended quickly at Rukia's glare, "I'm going to ring my supervisor in the morning and explain to him what's happening and ask for a year out."

"Will you go back after a year?" She asked a little sceptically.

"Yeah, I will," He replied but not sounding all that honest. He'd done biomedical engineering at University after leaving school, graduated with highest marks and had been offered a coveted PhD that was fully funded of course. The PhD was in regenerative medicines and attempting to help people who had spinal injuries that couldn't be reached by surgery. This was the main reason he didn't want to go back, the irony of his course and his situation made him almost want to gag.

Thankfully conversation was stopped by the arrival of dinner and even if it was in the shape of a bunny, he had to admit, Chappy Land did the best burgers he had ever tasted, outside of Yuzu's of course.

After dinner had been consumed, Rukia had insisted she play with the bunnies. He had _not_ smiled at how cute she looked running around with the furry little white fluff balls. Okay that was a lie; he might have smiled a little. Finally she was back and he had paid the bill, left tip and they were ready to go.

"Mommy look at that man! Why is he in a funny chair?" A small boy yelled out innocently as they passed his table. The mother immediately flushed bright red and sent Ichigo and Rukia an apologetic smile.

"Be quiet Kyo it's rude to yell and point at people," She admonished hurriedly as the young pair passed.

"But what's wrong with him?" The child asked confusion written all over his young features.

"Nothing, he's just a little different than you and I," Ichigo's whole body tensed at her words, he knew she didn't mean it the way he took it, it still stung though. A small hand on his shoulder pulled his eyes away from the table and they finally made it outside. Ichigo's ears were still burning as the cold air hit them.

"Ignore it, Ichigo," Rukia said withdrawing her hand and tucking it inside her coat.

"It's fine," He mumbled in response as she led the way back home. They had walked even though it was far enough away; it was habit that they should walk.

"Stop sulking," She said after a minute, he huffed indignantly.

"I'm not,"

"Yes you are," She responded blandly, "Ichigo, he was just a little kid, he didn't mean it."

"I know,"

"Then why are you sulking?"

"I'm not!" He yelled a little too loudly and at the look of her raised eyebrow he sucked in a huge breath to control his temper. "I'm not sulking," He responded a little more softly this time.

"Whatever you big kid," She teased stepping a little closer to him.

"At least I'm not over a hundred years old and my favourite restaurant is 'Chappy land'" He should have expected the punch on the jaw. "Dammit that hurt," He moaned rubbing the bruised skin. Rukia just gave him a sceptical look that screamed _duh_.

"Can we watch a movie when we get in?" She asked glancing down at him.

"Sure, what do you want to watch?" He asked though he already had some idea of what she was going to say. Sure enough a cunning smile graced her features.

"How abou-" Her response was cut off when her soul pager started beeping. She paused and pulled it out; he stopped just a little in front of her and swivelled round.

"Dammit, it's a big one," She muttered quietly, before looking up at him. "Ichigo, I'm going to have to go take care of this."

"But you aren't on duty this week," He said not really sure why he was putting up a fight, nothing would have stopped him from doing his job save paralysis of course, he scoffed inwardly. He just didn't want to watch Rukia leave, knowing she was in danger and he could do _nothing_ to help her.

"I know, but I'm the closest person to it, I'll meet you back at the house." She said hurriedly pulling her Chappy dispenser out.

"No way," Ichigo said quickly, "I'm going with you," He started forward and she put a hand up.

"No Ichigo, just go back home with Chappy and I'll deal with this." She swallowed the pill and jumped out of her body. Ichigo's jaw tightened and his stomach twisted.

"Just let me go with you," He didn't want her to go by herself, he knew he couldn't do anything, but he just couldn't go on home knowing she was putting herself in danger. Rukia sighed heavily before stepping closer to him.

"Ichigo," She placed her hand on his shoulder, "I won't be able to concentrate if you're there," She was trying to be gentle but the words still landed blows on his pride.

"I'll just be getting in the way right?" He asked bitterly turning his head from her. _She can't rely on me any more to have her back, _he thought resentfully as she withdrew her hand.

"You could never get in the way." She said before adjusting her obi, "But it'll just be quicker if I go deal with it, then we can go watch that movie."

"Sure," He grunted still not looking at her, her hand briefly brushed his face and he sighed quietly before she retracted her hand and she was gone. Leaving him cold and empty with only a mod soul as company.

"Rukia went on her first hollow hunt last night," Ichigo said nonchalant as possible as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"And?" The black haired, glasses wearing young man asked from the table.

"And it was harder than I thought watching her go and not being able to go with her." He admitted to the Quincy who pushed his glasses up with a small smirk on his face.

"Awh did the poor big Soul Reaper feel useless?" He joked as Ichigo paled slightly.

"It's not funny Uryu, it was horrible, you know I hate feeling like that," Ichigo grumbled twisting the lid of his water more violently than he intended.

"Why? Because it made you feel weak?"

"It was like loosing my powers all over again. Except this is much worse," The orange headed man told the other before taking a swig of his drink almost wishing it was something stronger than water.

"Why is it worse?" Uryu asked quietly picking at the scrubs he wore. He was on his lunch break from the hospital and he thought he would come and see how Ichigo was doing.

"Because," Ichigo took a deep breath, "Last time I could still help people, even if it wasn't from hollows, I was still able to protect people. Now I'm just…" He glanced up to his blue-eyed friend whose expression was unreadable.

"Urahara is working on a cure, I'm sure the majority of Soul Society is too, you just need to be patient." He said tactfully in response as Ichigo dropped his head face first onto the table.

"I am, I am, It's just hard, you know?" Ichigo's muffled voice acquiesced.

"Oh I know, patience never really was your strong suit," The archer teased with a grin as Ichigo shot him a dirty look back.

"Watch it Uryu I could still beat your ass any day," Ichigo groused as Uryu's smirked widened.

"Oh really? How do you plan on doing that?" He asked with a light laugh and Ichigo flushed red a little.

"Shut up," He snapped in response before silence enveloped the pair.

"How has it been really? It's hard to believe it's been nearly two weeks." Uryu asked finally breaking the hush.

"Tell me about it, it feels longer if I'm honest," Ichigo said with a sigh running a hand over his face. "Getting used to not using my legs is okay, so is doing most of the household stuff, the hardest part is stopping myself from thinking 'this is it'."

"It's not like you to give up," Uryu pointed out with an irritatingly know it all voice.

"I'm not, It's just hard," Ichigo responded testily wondering if he and Uryu would ever have a conversation that didn't involve fighting with one and other over every little thing.

"Well no-one said it would be easy," The archer spouted off and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"No shit Uryu," Ichigo retorted back resisting the urge to flip him off. "Ah well no point dwelling on it, I'm sure it won't be for much longer." Ichigo said hopefully with a shrug. "How's your residency going?"

"Fine, my father is being surprisingly silent whenever I'm there," Uryu said drinking his tea.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Ichigo asked whilst stretching his arms above his head.

"Please, my father is the complete opposite of yours, but they are both irritatingly similar. Whilst yours actually seems to like you, mine cannot stand the sight of me. But both have the uncanny ability to annoy their own sons senseless."

"I'd drink to that," Ichigo said pointing with his water.

"But Ryuken is being surprisingly absent from all matters concerning me. He just lets me do my job without, you know, shooting me through the heart with an arrow."

"That's always a good thing,"

"I might actually be able to finish this year without too much incident," Uryu finished talking before draining his tea.

The sound of the front door opening and closing roused both men from their conversation.

"Oh hey Uryu," Rukia said stepping in to the living room and pulling her coat off. "You staying for lunch?"

"I can't I'm afraid I have to get back to work, I just called in to check how Ichigo was getting on,"

"Prognosis doctor?" Rukia asked with a smirk.

"I'm afraid he's just as moronic as ever," Uryu responded with a sad smile whilst standing up.

"Hey!" Ichigo barked from his chair, crossing his arms roughly over his chest in indignation.

"You should come by for dinner some night," Rukia told the archer as she led him to the door.

"I'll see when I'm free," Uryu replied as he stepped over the threshold and turned to her to smile. "Any problems you have my number," He said a little too knowingly.

"We'll be fine," Rukia assured him before waving him off and watching him go. She made her way back into the living to where Ichigo was still huffing.

"You are a massive baby sometimes you know that?" She asked stepping beside him; he glanced up at her, his warm eyes swirling with emotion as he looked at her.

"That's why you love me," He teased as his hands reached forward to pull her down closer to him, her lips inches from his.

"Yeah it is," She admitted before his lips pressed firmly against hers and she had to fight to keep her eyes from rolling in her head from his talented tongue. She withdrew slightly still breathing a little too hard and wondering if things didn't get better soon would he still be this upbeat or would it slowly eat away at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo**

_Chapter four: The same as he was yesterday_

_It's the same damn thing every single day. Get up, get dressed. Eat breakfast, watch tv or sleep. Eat lunch, watch tv or sleep. Eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat. _

_Does nothing ever change? I miss the unpredictable, I miss the fight but most of all I miss just being able to get about. I know it can't be helped, that everybody is working round to clock to find a cure, but it's frustrating, knowing my friends are out there doing potentially life risking things and I can't even protect them._

_Rukia assures me it's me being paranoid, that we don't spend every day getting into fights and trouble, yes we do. It's been the same thing since we were fifteen. I wonder what Rukia is doing now, she says they were just filling out reports today, that nothing exciting ever happens in Soul Society when I'm not about. This kind of makes me feel better. But I hope she's not saying that just to keep me quiet, she probably is, that's how she protects me after all._

_Right, enough depressing, can't lie about all day I'm getting up and heading out for a bit, I'll see if Kisuke has any news yet. _With this thought in place, Ichigo let out a groan before pulling himself into a sitting position from his bed. A puff of air escaping him as he did. He grabbed his wheelchair and lifted his tired body into it, time to start the day. Even if it was one in the afternoon.

* * *

A small group moved silently through the undergrowth, ten pairs of waraji* finding purchase amongst the fallen branches and leaves. A slender hand rose in the air and the group stopped at once, eyes warily scoping out their surroundings, hands ready on the hilt of their swords.

"What do we have?" The owner of said slender hand asked a man with light coloured hair and rectangular glasses, who was waiting at the edge of the forest they had been running through, "Are they here?"

"Yes Lieutenant," The bespectacled man answered at once, the light from the half moon catching the three earrings he wore causing them to flash in the moonlight.

"And has anyone left or entered the building in the last few hours?" The lieutenant asked again, her violet eyes trained on the run down building a few hundred yards outside of the forest.

"No ma'am, so far as I can tell, they should all be in there." He replied, smoothing his hair back into place with a bangle clad wrist.

"Good work sixth seat Hidetomo, we'll regroup for a moment before we make our next move."

The light haired man nodded once and moved quietly away, leaving the Lieutenant to her thoughts for a moment. They'd been planning this raid for months, following this particular gang since she'd been made Lieutenant but now they were finally ready to make their move, and she wasn't sure it was going to work.

This gang was notorious in the Rukon; it was easier to say what they _weren't_ involved in than what they were. Murders, disappearances, tortures, thefts, smuggling, they had their dirty hands in everything. She had a run in with them herself as a young girl, she could still remember it clearly, a scar on her abdomen to prove it.

_The sound of the wind rattling against the small shack they called home woke her up, the incessant howling through the gaps in the makeshift walls almost unbearable to her. She covered her ears with her hands, curling deeper into the ragged blanket she had procured and desperately begged for sleep to claim her once again._

"_That noise needs to stop," Renji growled from across the room. He was lying on his back, his small eyes trained on the roof as it shook and shifted under the gales. There were only three of them left now, the others had all perished and they'd stood by and watched, helpless as starvation and sickness had taken them. It had been hardest on Renji, he saw himself as the big brother of the others, and it was his job to watch out for them. So far it had gone pretty poorly. _

"_Shut up!" Renji yelled at the gusts, his hands balled into fists beside him, his short fuse firmly lit. Rukia sighed as she watched him, things had been difficult recently ever since the last kid had died they'd all realised just how futile their situation was, just how perilous. _

"_Yelling at it isn't going to help," She chided after the tenth time he'd bellowed at the storm, he glared at her._

"_How the hell is Naoki* sleeping through this?" He asked incredulously pointing to the brown haired boy whose peaceful snores were lost over the roar of the wind. Rukia's features softened for the briefest of moments as she looked at him as well before the hardened look was back on her face once more. _

"_If you don't stop shouting, you're gonna wake him up!" She hissed angrily at the overtired red head who huffed indignantly. Renji needed sleep or he would be unbearably grumpy throughout the day. The pair sat in silence, each lost in thought as they listened to the roars and howls of the wind through their home._

"_We need to find somewhere better to live," Renji said breaking the silence between them, his voice lifting over the gales._

"_No problem, tomorrow we'll go out and find a nice mansion to live in." Rukia snapped back sarcastically as she sat up in her bed, her head resting on her bent knees._

"_Ha ha very funny," Renji replied sardonically before sighing heavily, "I just mean somewhere better, where the roof doesn't cave in when it rains and there's actually a door not a tattered piece of cloth."_

"_This is Hanging Dog Renji, and we're just children, how on earth could we ever get something like that?" She asked despondently, her tired eyes closing on the night and closing on the terrible world around her. If it weren't for trying to keep their little family together, she probably would have moved on ages ago. _

"_We have to do something, we can't keep living like this," Renji replied running a frustrated hand through his loose hair._

"_There is nothing to be done, this is the lot we've been drawn, and I suggest we make the most of it." She answered blandly lying back down again and drawing the thin blanket up to her chest. "Besides," Her muffled voice called out, "As long as the three of us stick together it doesn't matter how hard it gets." _

_Renji couldn't help but agree with this statement, the three of them where the only things left of the past and he'd make sure to keep them together. Of course there was somewhere better they could go, He and Rukia had reiatsu, a good amount so it seemed. But he'd never suggest it, never leave the family torn apart so he pushed the matter firmly to the back of his mind and shut his eyes. _

_A few days had passed since the storm and he was out scourging for food, it wasn't a problem for Naoki all he needed was water to survive but he and Rukia needed nourishment to keep going. He was thinking about heading down to the river to see if he could catch some fish, only problem was the storm had swollen the river and there didn't seem to be any fish but dead ones to be had._

_He sighed heavily, dropping down to sit on the ground, knees drawn up to his chest. He was thinking about taking a nap when a panicked voice called his name. "Renji!" Naoki called running towards him, his face was flushed and his clothes dishevelled._

"_What the hell happened to you?" Renji asked the younger boy as he sprinted to a stop in front of him. He was surprised when the brown haired boy grabbed the front of his clothes. _

"_Renji! The Inu* have Rukia!" He yelled, his breathing harsh from running as Renji's eyes widened._

"_What!?" Renji roared back, his hands gripping at both shoulders of the younger boy. "What are you talking about?" At this statement Naoki flushed even redder and looked guiltily away._

"_Well, um, I kinda stole from them." He said looking up at Renji's furious face._

"_You did what?" Renji asked slowly trying to absorb the information and just how unbelievably stupid his de facto little brother had been._

"_I know you told me not to go anywhere near them, but I couldn't help but see all this stuff they had, so I…you know…I snuck into their warehouse just to take a look, but they had those sweets we like and it was only a little bag…" He drowned off not looking at Renji's face._

"_So how did Rukia get involved?" Renji asked him as Naoki heaved a breath._

"_They found me, chased me into the streets and they were about to stab me when Rukia jumped in front of me and pushed them away." He said quickly, his eyes closed as the memory replayed itself. "She told me to run away, so I did and they took her." _

_Renji sighed letting go of the boy, he was trying very hard not to kill the little shit but he knew Rukia would be pissed if he did so he took a step back. The Inu where bad news, an up and growing gang that had a reputation for taking girls and doing unspeakable things to them, he didn't have much time to act._

"_Renji, I think they hurt her," Naoki said worry etched onto his dirty face, Renji's eyes snapped back to his at once. _

"_What?"_

"_There was blood, it was how they were able to grab her, I don't know where it came from." Naoki said tears forming in his brown eyes as Renji's fingers curled into fists._

"_I'm going to go get her. You stay here," He growled at Naoki who had begun to follow him, "And for the love of all things holy stay out of fucking trouble." He said angrily as Naoki's head dropped in shame. With his piece said Renji was of and running towards the warehouse the Inu could often be found at._

_Rukia's eyes were trying to adjust to her surroundings. It was dark in the room they'd locked her in and she couldn't see a way out save the door they'd brought her through. She would have tried breaking it down but she was in a considerable amount of pain. She'd taken a small dagger to the left side of her stomach and she had her hands clenched tightly around the wound to stop the ever-present flow of blood. _

_It wasn't a deep wound, but it was still painful enough to cause her to grit her teeth and fight off the small tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes. But it wasn't the pain that had frozen her in her place, no as terrible as that was; it was the fear that she couldn't quite stomach. _

_These guys had a bad reputation; they'd all heard the horror stories about the young girls who had gone missing after they'd been around, and what had happened to those girls. As young as she may be, she was not naïve to what men like them would do to a girl like her. _

_The sound of the door unlocking broke her train of thought and she scrambled backwards away from the wood until her back was pressed up against the wall. A man easily four times her height and width stooped under the threshold of the door and into the room, a huge grin on his face._

"_Well aren't you a sweet little thing?" He said in a rough voice as Rukia glared back and taking strength from the ice flooding through her veins. No matter how scared she was, she wouldn't let this man know it._

_He stepped further into the room, his dark eyes looking to the blood patch on the floor and the hand that clenched on her stomach. "Hmm, damaged goods, not much use there," He said more to himself and Rukia felt the tension ease slightly, maybe she'd get lucky and they'd just kill her._

_He surprised her by reaching forward and grabbing her wrist and pulling her roughly to her feet. She yelped slightly as she almost lost her footing and her hand came away harshly from her wound as he trailed her out of the room._

"_Let go off me!" She growled clawing at the hand that held her. She kicked the guy in the back of the leg and he merely kept walking. His skin was like a tough hide; he didn't even flinch when she sunk her teeth into his hand. What he did do was draw his unoccupied hand back and slap her hard across the face. She saw stars appear before her vision and she stumbled forward. If it weren't for his tough grip she would have hit the floor. _

_He pulled her into a room, where a very weary looking and frightened woman immediately snapped to attention. "Master Kenta!" She said quickly with a low bow, almost too low, fear etched into every movement that Rukia's heart broke for the older woman. How long had they trapped her here?_

"_Aimi," The man, this Kenta person gripping her arm so much it was bruising her, said to the still bowing woman, her head and body creaked up when he said her name obviously giving her permission to raise her head. "This precious little one has a tiny scratch, can you patch her up?" _

_Aimi's blue eyes widened slightly as she looked down at Rukia, she'd seen too many girls like the ebony haired girl, but she'd never seen one so little, never seen one still look so defiant. She nodded at once and Kenta immediately released Rukia's bruised wrist and shoved her forward._

_Rukia thought about running, but with a wound and no idea where she was she realised that she would need to pick her time better. She heard Kenta leave and sure enough the door locked behind them. So this was Aimi's prison cell then?_

"_Let's take a look at you," Aimi said kindly gesturing towards the small table she used as a bed, a series of strange looking and dirty medical objects sitting on a smaller stand. Rukia did as she was told, there didn't seem to be anything too threatening about the woman and the blood she was continuing to loose might stop any potential escape._

"_I know what you're thinking," Aimi said as she pulled Rukia's kimono apart and having a good look at the narrow cut. "But you'd be stupid to try and escape here. They will just kill you."_

"_There are worse things than death," Rukia replied at once, masking her shock at the woman knowing her plan._

"_Yes, I suppose you are right. But still, be very careful, these men do not take kindly to insubordination." Aimi said sadly as Rukia stared up at the dark ceiling._

"_I have no intentions of being anyone's subordinate." Rukia responded coldly, her eyes narrowing as the sting of sake placed over her wound made her grit her teeth. Aimi said nothing more as she continued to work in silence. _

_After several minutes she was done and helped Rukia to sit up. "It was deeper than I first thought," She told Rukia who was readjusting her Kimono, "And it will leave a scar, but keep it clean and you'll be fine." She said gently as Rukia nodded and uttered a small thanks. The sound of the door unlocking again caused both girls to tense up but who entered was not who either girl was expecting._

"_Renji!" Rukia called out as the red head grinned widely at her, "What the hell are you doing here? You could have been caught!" She chided as Renji rolled his eyes._

"_You're never happy are ya?" He asked as Rukia came to his side, both of them looked back to Aimi. _

"_Are you coming?" Rukia asked the woman who shook her head a small melancholy smile on her face._

"_No, I know no other life but this. If Kenta should return I will tell him one of the others came to collect you." The blue-eyed woman told the shocked faces of Renji and Rukia._

"_But, he could hurt you for doing this!" Rukia said hurriedly knowing time was definitely not on her side._

"_No he won't," Aimi said softly, "He is my brother," She told them as Renji and Rukia shared a stunned look. "Now go," She urged the young pair, Renji immediately backtracked out of the room and Rukia hesitated only a moment._

"_Thank you," She told the older woman sincerely, she smiled in response before Rukia left the room without a backwards glance and her and Renji stole down a darkened corridor. _

"_How did you get in here?" She asked quietly as her and Renji edged along the wall keeping themselves tucked into the shadows._

_Renji shrugged before saying, "The front door was open." Rukia rolled her eyes; of course it was, she thought exasperatedly as they paused briefly to listen for any sounds. Renji edged his head around the corner and saw that mercifully the coast was clear._

"_Ready to run?" He asked Rukia who smirked in response._

"_Always." With that said the two sprinted from their hiding place and ran full pelt towards the door, their bare feet making barely any sound against the dirt ground. They heard someone yell from behind them, but they ignored it, didn't even look back as they ran out of the warehouse and into the filthy streets. _

_The sounds of feet behind them spurred them on faster, they knew these streets better than their pursuers, they dived down one narrow alley and into a underground passage that brought them out two streets from where they'd last been. _

_Next they climbed atop one of the small buildings and ran from rooftop to rooftop before jumping down into the street below and carefully navigating the maze like streets. Finally they knew they were safe, their breathing harsh as they walked back to their rundown home._

_Naoki was nervously sitting on a boulder outside he jumped up and ran to them as soon as he saw them coming. "Rukia! I'm so sorry!" He called out as he reached the pair, Rukia smiled comfortingly at him._

"_Don't worry bout it Naoki, next time, don't be such an idiot please? Leave that to Renji,"_

"_Hey!" Yelled the red head indignantly as the three young people made there way into their small home, the danger averted yet again._

Rukia opened her eyes as the memory finished, a sad smile on her lips. Exactly one week later Naoki was murdered by the Inu, they hadn't forgotten he'd stolen from them and they'd hoped to find her after finding him. Unfortunately she was away with Renji somewhere and they'd come back to find another little brother to bury.

After that they'd made the decision to become soul reapers, there was nothing left for them in that awful place.

So here she was, back where they'd ran from and she was standing outside another warehouse used by the Inu. She was more than ready to seek revenge for the brother she'd lost to those bastards.

"Orders Lieutenant?" Hidetomo asked as she made her way back to the small group. The eleven men and women she had with her all raring to go. She twisted her lips in a smile.

"Surround the building, cover every possible exit and then I will lead a small team inside and we will flush them out." She said as the others nodded in understanding. She took her eight seat and her twelfth seat, while Hidetomo took the rest to station them outside the other exits.

She stood in the shadows of the trees as she sensed her team getting into position. The man and woman with her where both talented fighters and both had kido type Zanpakuto's that would come in handy for what they were about to do.

"Ready your swords," She told them as a sharp peak in Hidetomo's reiatsu, told her the others where in position. She heard the release commands of her two comrades as she drew Sode no Shirayuki from her sheath. "Dance," She commanded lightly as the sword shone white. "Lets move."

Getting inside hadn't been a problem, a single solitary guard on the door who had easily been incapacitated by Bakudo number one. Her and her two companions moved efficiently down the corridor. Rooms on either side where roughly forced open and her eight seed used her swords ability to distinguish friend from foe so they wouldn't accidentally hurt innocents.

They could hear battles beginning to erupt outside as both enemy and innocent ran towards them and passed them inside the narrow corridors. Others had escaped out backdoors and clambered through the windows as they desperately tried to flee the Soul Reapers.

Rukia showed little mercy to those who rushed her with weapons off their own, she cut them down where they stood. The more they took out, the less trouble they'd have. They'd come to wipe out this organisation and that's what she planned to do.

She split from her team to search the final room on the top floor, not surprised to find that the leader had holed himself up in this room. She was surprised that it was that bastard Kenta who had taken her all those many years ago. Time had been unkind to him, he now looked even bigger and rough scars adorned his once unblemished skin.

"Well well," He said slowly as he sat in a chair like a throne. "I recognise you little Soul Reaper. Weren't you that sweet little one that got away all those years ago?" He said with a smirk as she felt her skin crawl.

"You will pay with your life for the crimes you have committed." She said calmly, her grip tightening on Sode no Shirayuki's hilt.

"I remember all the girls," He said standing up and completely ignoring her words. If he was trying to get under her skin she could unfortunately admit that it was working.

"You have the right to a fair fight, pick up your sword and we will end this." She said narrowing her eyes and swallowing dryly. The man paused in his stride.

"A fair fight?" He asked with a drawl, "Now where's the fun in that." He clicked his fingers and suddenly the wooden panels on the walls fell away to reveal several large well-armed men dressed in armour.

Rukia swore as she backed up immediately, her eyes scanning the room and her brain quickly thinking up a plan to take them all out. She was just about to use Hakuren on all of the occupants when Kenta pulled a young girl with tatty brown hair out from behind his chair, his large hand wrapped around her neck.

"In the interest of unfairness," He said watching Rukia whose eyes where still frantically searching the room and coming up with an alternative plan. The appearance of the little girl meant she couldn't just activate her second dance. "I thought I'd make things a little more difficult for you."

She turned her head to Kenta and a small grew on her lips, "If you wanted to make things difficult, you should have brought a few more dozen men." And with that she was moving, her blade slashing straight through the armour of one of the shocked men and out the other side. The blood splattering the walls as the heavy thud of a limp body hit the ground. The others froze momentarily before they launched themselves at the petite lieutenant who merely danced her way out of trouble.

She inwardly thanked Ichigo; the hours he'd spent training with her before his accident had really paid off. His unique fighting style was often chaotic and messy, but his speed, his technique and his determination where faultless. For hours on end he would help her perfect her shunpo and as she flashed from one shocked soldier to the next, her sword a frenzy more red than white. She had to admit that Ichigo had really changed the way she fought.

Finally the room stilled, the sounds of rasping dying breaths and blood dripping all that remained as she flicked the blood of her swords as she took a step towards the man who's face was now sweating in fear. With a rueful smile she noticed that she didn't get a single drop of blood on her pristine gloves that Byakuya had given her so long ago.

"Pick up your sword." She told Kenta as he wiped his face with a huge hand, the other hand squeezing slightly too hard on the terrified young girls neck.

"You bitch," He hissed as he finally relinquished his hold on the girl and grasped his small sword in his fat hand. "I'm going to kill you." He promised as Rukia raised an amused eyebrow.

"You might," She answered with a shrug as if she didn't care, "Or I might just kill you instead." She told him as she readied herself in a fighting stance.

"You little fucking whore," He said as he stepped forward.

"Tell me first before I cut the life from you, what happened to your sister?" Rukia asked as she watched his face falter for a second.

"She died." He answered almost sullenly, "Killed herself." He added as Rukia's face fell into a frown. The weight of her brothers deeds obviously too much for Aimi.

"Very well. Lets begin." She told the man as she stepped forward immediately and the sound of swords clashing signalled the start of the fight.

"Lieutenant," Hidetomo called walking into the room and deftly stepping over the bodies of the men Rukia had slain. She felt no remorse as she put her sword back into her hilt. It had taken her just one minute to plunge her sword into Kenta's chest and wipe his horrendous existence from the world. She knew she should probably feel guilty for the lives she'd taken, but these men where bad men and ever since the Soul Society had decided to clean up the districts this would be happening more and more. Here she would harden her heart and act like it didn't bother her. But at home, with Ichigo, she could admit that taking these lives often placed a bigger burden on her than she would like to concede.

"Finish up here and make sure the captives get home safely," She said gesturing to the young girl behind her. She didn't look at the girl, she was reminded too much of herself, back when she was weak.

"Yes Lieutenant," Hidetomo said with a short bow as Rukia walked to the mouth of the door.

"I'm going to report to the Captain," She said looking back at the glasses wearing man, "If you need me send a butterfly." And with that she was leaving the room, scarcely believing that they'd taken out one of the worst groups in Hanging Dog and it wasn't even noon yet.

* * *

Ukitake and Rukia strolled along the squad thirteen barracks as she delivered her report. Today was a good day for him, his illness was not that troublesome and since Rukia was away he'd over seen the training of the new recruits personally.

"Good work Rukia," He said fondly as she nodded, her mind starting to drift now that she was no-longer preoccupied with this mornings task. She wondered if Ichigo was behaving himself.

"So how's Ichigo doing?" Ukitake asked kindly after a few minutes of silence between the pair. It was well known the Captain of squad thirteen had a huge soft spot for the orange haired substitute.

"The same as he was yesterday Captain," She responded respectfully, her mind wondering back to the idiot that was her orange haired husband.

"It's hard to believe it's been a month," He said with a low sigh, his eyes trained on the blue sky. "So much seems to happen to him, it's not fair,"

Rukia felt her jaw clench tightly at the notion, "No Captain it's not," She added sourly as the white haired man nodded in understanding. She'd been back at work for two weeks and things had already taken a turn for the worse. Ichigo had been fine in the Hospital and then fine the first week back at home. But now that she was back at work, and he cooped up in the house, he wasn't doing so well.

On more than one occasion she had come home to find him on the floor, or hanging off something he shouldn't be as he tried to climb for something out of reach. He was like a disobedient child and he was too damn stubborn to listen to her. They'd have to talk about it tonight, she couldn't concentrate in work because she was so worried about him and what dangers he was unknowingly putting himself in.

"I think you should take the rest of the day off Rukia," Ukitake said seeing her biting the inside of her mouth and her eyes narrowed in concern. If he could he would give her all the time of she needed, indefinitely if needs be, but unfortunately that's not the way death worked and she knew that. But still, he had two very energetic third seats that just loved doing the extra work he gave them, so he could of course give his hard working lieutenant an afternoon or two off.

"No Captain, I've been off so much I couldn't possibly," She said at once, answered like a true subordinate.

"Rukia," Ukitake stopped her kindly, "You and I both know your minds back in the world of the living with our substitute soul reaper, go home to him, besides, Sentaro and Kiyone just _love_ when I give them extra work to do." He added with a coy smile and Rukia returned it willingly.

"Thank you very much Captain, I really appreciate this." She answered dutifully before she was gone in a flash step and leaving a sadly smiling Captain behind.

* * *

"Ichigo, I'm home," She called as she opened the door and tossed her keys on the small counter the telephone sat on. "Ichigo?" She called walking deeper into the apartment and pulling her jacket off as she expected him to reply any moment. When he didn't she froze in her tracks and listened with all her might, the place sounded deathly quiet. "Ichigo?" She said a little louder, her heart beating faster in her chest fearing the worse. She entered the small dinning living area and her heart literally stopped.

The small dinning room table had been beautifully set, two candles, stood ready to be lit, a single white rose in a small vase sat in the middle and two wine glasses along with appropriate cutlery lay waiting to be used. She closed the mouth she had let drop open and took a half step closer to the table.

The sound of the door opening caused her to turn around as Ichigo came into the room carrying what looked like take away on his lap. He froze like a deer in headlights when he saw her. Her face softened and a smile danced across it, he grinned sheepishly back.

"What are you doing home so early?" He asked coming closer to her, deftly moving his wheelchair with just one hand. Rukia noted that he was wearing fingerless gloves.

"Ukitake gave me the afternoon off, what's going on?" She responded with a question of her own as he threw her another grin and set the food down on the table.

"I know how patient you've been with me these past few weeks, I know I'm not always the easiest person to live with. I just wanted to do something nice for you," He answered her looking at his shoes and she shook her head whilst rolling her eyes.

"You idiot," She said fondly as she came to stand beside him, reaching down to press a kiss against his waiting lips, "You don't need to do that," She told him pulling back and he smiled sadly at her.

"Yeah I do, I'm your husband, aren't I?" He replied before kissing her again, her hands pressing against his chest as he did. They finally broke apart when the temperature of the room seemed to have gone up several degrees. Rukia eyed the food still sitting in the bag.

"You were going to pass this food of as your own weren't you?" She asked all too knowingly and his eyes widened and his face began to turn a strange pink colour.

"No! Of course not," He responded his voice a few octaves higher than normal, his ears almost as red as Renji's hair, all tell tale signs that he was lying.

"Come on fool, lets eat," She said grabbing the bag and beginning to dish the food out, trying to ignore the swelling of her heart as she did. He always did that, stupid little things that made her love him even more if that was even possible. Like surprise romantic dinners, showing up to take her out, saving her life from execution, just little things that made her heart race and her breathing quicken. Little things that made her feel so damn, well, alive!

His self-satisfied smirk was irking her too, she knew fine rightly that he knew what she was thinking, how she hated him for that! Sometimes she still couldn't believe that she had actually married the idiot. It had been almost nine months now, nearly a year and neither of them had killed each other which had to be a plus in anyone's book, and it still felt like the first day after she'd said "I do," even with all of this going on, she still couldn't believe how lucky she'd been to find him.

So she'd leave scolding him for tonight, for now, she'd just enjoy the company of her husband and the food he was going to pass of as his own.

"How was work?" He asked almost uncaringly as he picked at his food. She knew it was hard for him to hear about the danger she put herself in and even harder to know that he was missing out on it. Trapped in his body like he was, not being able to get back into his Soul form.

"It was fine, we took out that group I was telling you about this morning," She looked up at him and his eyes widened slightly.

"You okay?" He asked knowingly, he'd questioned her once about every scar that ordained her body and she'd told him the story of the Inu from her past. _So much for paper work,_ he thought with a inward scoff, but he wasn't really mad.

"Yeah, I'm okay. We w-wiped them out," She cursed herself for stuttering trying to remember that she'd done a good thing, that all that blood shed was important.

"That's for the best," Ichigo said smiling at her, "Those guys would have just regrouped and continued to hurt people." She appreciated the lie, Ichigo tried to preserve life whenever he could, even if it was the enemy. He probably wouldn't have killed them so mercilessly like she did. His hand taking hers startled her for a moment. "Talk to me." He told her and she nodded, he understood the weight she carried and for tonight she'd selfishly share it with him.

Ichigo was just relieved that she was willing to open up to him, it had taken years for her to become this responsive to his demands. And if this where the only way he could help her now, nothing on heaven or earth would stop if from doing it. But things had to get better, it was only a month and Urahara would surely find the cure and he'd be up and about and saving lives and protecting people once more.

With an inward smile of confidence, he focused his entire attention on Rukia who was beginning to tell him the story of her day. Her eyes lost in the memory, her small hand lost in his.

* * *

*Waraji's those cool little shoes the Soul Reapers wear

*I made his name up, because as far as I'm aware none of them get a name, I could be wrong

*Inu= dogs in Japanese (I think) I know, real original.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo**

_Chapter five: Can we not do this now?_

It had been two months since the incident and Urahara was no closer to a solution than he had been at the start. This was a first for him. Using all of his contacts, his resources and even everything Soul Society had to offer he couldn't find anything that would help. He didn't even know what these devices were or how they were made or where they even came from!

He had never been so in the dark before and every time Ichigo came by, and it was almost every day, he had to see the hope leave his amber eyes all over again and he knew that the boy was beginning to give up. He hadn't come the last few days and today when he did show up for a few minutes, it was just a quick "Hey can you fix me? No that's too bad" and he'd been on his way again.

Ichigo wasn't one to give up, but this whole thing was even worse than the time he'd lost his powers. The orange haired young man had confided in him last week that he would take losing his powers over this any day, because at least he could still protect people even if it wasn't from hollows. No, Urahara knew the boy was slipping, the fact that he was willing to give up being a soul reaper, he clearly wasn't thinking. Losing his powers meant loosing Rukia and everyone knew he would never do that again.

But still, Urahara couldn't help but feel that the solution existed that he just hadn't found it yet, so he'd keep on looking.

"Working late Kisuke?" A low purr reached him from the threshold of the door, his eyes flicked away from the paper in front of him and to the exotic beauty standing leaning against the doorframe.

"You know me Yoruichi, time is irrelevant," He said with a knowing smirk, one she readily replied.

"You're going to be very happy with me," She told him pushing lightly of the door and walking further into the room. His lips twisted into a greedy grin.

"You found one?" He asked almost hungrily, the breath of new discovery always the sweetest.

"I found one," Yoruichi confirmed with a grin as wide as a Cheshire cat. As Urahara stood in one deft movement, his hand reached out to grab his cane. "We going now?" She added as Urahara moved passed her, his face hidden in the candlelight, his tall form shadowed against the wall.

"I don't see why not. Are you coming?" It was a rhetorical question, of course she was coming, her cat like curiosity always got her into trouble when it came to him, but he would never allow any danger to come to her, this she was certain of. "Lead the way," He instructed pulling back slightly and angling his body to let her smaller one slink pass and into the darkened corridor.

Abandoned warehouses lined the street they walked along, neither Soul Reaper had spoken since they'd left the shop as they made their way steadily along. A ripple in the air around them caused the pair to pause momentarily.

"Ah, It seems we are no-longer alone," Urahara said breezily as he began walking again.

"Shame, I was enjoying our time together," Yoruichi answered with a soft wink, Urahara's lips curved wider.

"Well my dear, maybe you and I could spend more time _alone_, when we get back," He told her with a smirk of his own, the suggestive tone sending shivers down her spine. "But first…" With that statement made, he swung his cane, which materialized into his sword and sent a huge shockwave through the air and revealing six concealed hollows.

"Hmm, I thought there'd be more," Yoruichi purred lightly as Urahara turned to face the danger head on, "This is rather disappointing don't you think?" She was only teasing, a former captain knew better than to underestimate her opponent but she couldn't help the playful banter that her and Kisuke had always engaged in.

"I suppose it will have to do," Urahara sighed almost sadly as he stepped forward, a resounding clap as his clog hit of the concrete slabs beneath his feet. "If I can leave the weaker ones to you?" He asked his head angled back towards the opulent beauty behind him.

"Of course," Was her coy reply as she flash stepped away from him and had taken out one of the hollows before he'd even had time to grin.

He watched the battle unfold and waited for the real prize to arrive. Yoruichi was down to just two hollows when Urahara finally felt a distortion in the air around him, he'd felt this spiritual pressure before, two months ago when he'd been too late to save Ichigo.

"So you've finally decided to show up?" He asked the wind as his grip on his sword tightened imperceptibly. The hollow appeared out of nowhere and swung a huge thick arm down in the space he had been standing in not two seconds before.

"My my, that was close, you could have hurt me," Urahara groused playfully as the hollow materialized. It was huge, much larger than the one Renji and Rukia had described. Its hide was a tough greyish color and it's arms where like two tree trunks, giving it an almost ape like stance.

The mask was the same though, Urahara narrowed his eyes as the yellow mask crumbled and oozed onto the ground beneath it. The others had been right, this thing looked prehistoric, just how old where these things and where the hell did they come from? Urahara could barely contain his excitement at the thought of such tantalizing new possibilities and discoveries.

The hollow launched for him again and Urahara simply materialized a red shield using his sword in front of him. He almost laughed at the deep gong noise that the hollow made smacking off it.

"What is your purpose here?" Urahara asked pushing the hollow away with a casual flick of the wrist.

"Death," The hollow roared back and Urahara fought the urge to roll his eyes. These hollows clearly weren't conversationalists. He stepped forward again, his sword ready and his mind whirring with different Kido's to use to try and restrain this thing. If he could just study it, he'd been far closer to helping Ichigo than ever before.

He was just about to try something when the hollow suddenly vanished in front of him and all trace of its reiatsu. "Now that is a nifty trick," Urahara commented as a small frown appeared on his face mercifully hidden behind his hat. His eyes scanned the area, his reiatsu sought the hollows but it was like it had disappeared completely.

Urahara's eyes flickered over to where Yoruichi had just finished with the last of the hollows that thing had brought with it. She wiped her forehead; they hadn't been much of a challenge. She had just turned to give Urahara a confident smirk when she felt something behind her, had time to turn and no more when she was slammed roughly in the stomach and sent flying backwards.

She was only stopped when her body connected hard with Urahara's who had flash stepped into the path of her unwelcomed flight. "What the hell was that?" She gasped jumping agilely to her feet and rubbing the bruised area on her stomach through her orange jacket.

"Our foe," Urahara said simply as he raised his sword into the air slightly.

"You're kidding, I thought the kids where just exaggerating it's abilities," She retorted quickly, her eyes narrowed and her face set into a frown. "I didn't even feel that thing Kisuke until it was right behind me."

"It seems we have been underestimating what we are up against," _All the more reason to capture it,_ Urahara thought selfishly as he stared around the empty street.

The seconds slowly ticked into minutes as the two experienced reapers kept their ground. They couldn't see or sense the concealed beast but knew it hadn't left. A split second later and the ground behind them smashed apart as the hollow materialized and dropped from the sky to the place they'd been standing. Both Soul Reapers jumped back and twisted their bodies to face the threat head on.

"Don't let it escape," Urahara warned as he took a step forward, Yoruichi rolled her eyes at him for saying something so obvious. The clash of blade and hollow skin was heard; a roar of agony came from the beast when Benihime cleaved right through one of its trunk like arms.

Urahara flash stepped back as the hollow dropped to one knee, furious rage burning in its red eyes, the same color as the red that splattered the floor. "Scream, Benihime," He called as he fired another curving red pulse of energy towards the hollow hitting it dead center. Yoruichi immediately came out of thin air and cried "Bakudo number 30, Shitotsu Sansen!" Her hands dragged a yellow energy discharge across the sky forming a perfect triangle, which went careering towards the hollow and pinning it roughly to the wall of a derelict building.

"Nice work," Urahara said with a tip of the hat.

"You too," Yoruichi replied as they both walked calmly towards the hollow who was shrieking and straining to be free.

"Now, let's take a look at you," Urahara said his sword returning to it's form as a cane as he made his way to a few feet in front of the hollow. His eyes narrowed as he studied the form.

"I've never seen anything like it," Yoruichi told him as she folded her arms across her chest taking a place at his side.

"In truth neither have I, I've read about them of course, no-one knows where exactly they come from. It's most likely Hueco Mundo, but who controls them?" He was in the process of taking a step closer when the hollow began to writhe as if it was in agony, it's whole body shaking in it's restraints and just as soon as it began. The screeching stop and the hollow let out a pained gasp and then it began to disintegrate in front of their eyes as if it had been purified.

"What the hell?" Yoruichi asked slowly and in shock, "Did that thing just kill itself?" She added almost in horror as the hollow completely faded away along with her kido leaving just her and Urahara and a lot of unanswered questions.

As they made their way back to the shop, with a sinking feeling the former captain of squad 12 realized that healing Ichigo might be just out of his reach.

* * *

A few people sat around Rukia and Ichigo's small little table drinking tea and catching up. Yoruichi was curled up in her cat form on a big pillow beside Orihime who was absentmindedly stroking the black cat. Uryu and Chad sat talking quietly to the russet haired girl while Ichigo and Rukia were arguing on the opposite side of the table.

Conversation flowed freely between the young group as they caught up on recent happenings that they may have missed.

"Cooking school is going really well," Orihime told the table at large as Rukia finished attacking Ichigo and turned politely to listen. "My teacher told me I have a real zeal for cooking and I should seriously consider opening my own restaurant." The table shuddered collectively, even Yoruichi's whiskers twitched.

"That's great Orihime," Uryu responded with a smile, pushing his glasses up his nose, as the girl smiled widely back. Chad gave her the thumbs up.

"How have things been with you two? How's work and the travelling between worlds been, any change?" Uryu asked Rukia and Ichigo, the latter merely shrugged and pretended to be interested in his tea.

Rukia frowned slightly at him before she answered. "We've been really good, and work is fine; it's become a lot easier to travel from here back to Soul Society every day. The first few weeks I was exhausted, but now my reiatsu has grown used to the constant changes," She lied easily to the others. She wasn't the only one who noticed Ichigo's hand tightening on his cup. She ignored it pointedly. "Ichigo why don't you tell them what the physio said." She prompted as he sighed heavily and placed his cup down.

"The guy thinks I've got what it takes to start playing some sports if I want," He said with another shrug.

"That's incredible Ichigo!" Orihime cried happily, pleased that he was doing better, pleased that he had a reason to get stronger.

"Orihime's right, that's great news Ichigo," Uryu said as Chad grunted in agreement. "With your fitness the level it is, you could win anything you wanted to."

Ichigo shrugged again before saying, "Yeah but I don't think I'm going to do it," Rukia sighed heavily as he spoke.

"But, why?" Orihime asked with a small pout of confusion.

"Because I don't want to." Ichigo answered roughly and everyone on the table flinched at the harsh tone. "Sorry," He said darkly, "I just, don't see the point," He muttered not looking at any of them. Rukia knew he was lying.

"Ichigo, why are yo-" she was cut off by the beeping of her phone and Uryu's head snapping up. Rukia flipped her phone open immediately, "Four hollows, and strong ones by the looks of it. We better go." She said looking up at Uryu as Ichigo's hands clenched into fists and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying anything.

Everyone was on their feet, even Yoruichi and Orihime were heading to the door and Rukia popped out of her body, instructing Chappy to wait here, her eyes meeting Ichigo's as she did. He turned his head in disgust.

It wasn't the first time she'd left for a hollow attack, it was never easy to be just left behind, but it was worse with everyone else here and all of them leaving to face this danger and he was stuck here like a, like a, like a fucking invalid!

He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and shrugged it on. He ignored Chappy's protests about him leaving and he made his way outside, and turned left, the opposite direction from the immense reiatsu that the others were heading towards and set off wishing that he could get better, but knowing that he won't.

* * *

"How have things really been?" Uryu asked her as they jumped from rooftop to rooftop, Chad and Orihime's reiatsu following from the ground below. Yoruichi had slunk of in her cat form before any of them could even blink. Even as a feline she was fast.

"I don't know," Rukia answered truthfully, her feet finding purchase on rough gravel as she pushed off it. "He's not himself," She added as Uryu kept perfect pace with her.

"It's like when he lost his powers all over again," Uryu supplied with a nod, "He was there and he was living, but it was like he'd lost a part of himself."

"He once told me that protecting people was his only purpose in life. Now he's not able to do it at all and I don't think he's coping very well." Rukia bit her lip after she had spoken; the hollows they had been chasing were getting closer.

"It wasn't just the ability to protect people he lost last time Rukia," Uryu said with a knowing smile, Rukia could feel her cheeks heat up slightly.

"I was there, even if he couldn't see me. It's worse this time Uryu, he didn't loose his power, he just can't _use_ it. I think it being so close, but so far away is slowly destroying him." She paused and waited for the Quincy to reach her side as the roar of the hollows pierced the night sky. "I don't know what to do," She added truthfully.

Uryu sighed and pushed up his glasses, "Apart from the old cliché of just _'be there for him'_ I don't know what else to say." He pulled his hand up and readied his bow. "I'll see if Chad is free some night and we'll take him out for drinks or something."

"He'd like that, he doesn't say it much, but he misses doing guy stuff, you know how he is."

"Unfortunately I do," Uryu smiled sadly at the petite Soul Reaper as the first hollow spotted them. "I'll talk to him later, but first shall we destroy some hollows, Soul Reaper?"

"Thank you." Rukia said with a sincere smile of her own before it morphed into a smirk, "Just try not to get in my way Quincy," And with that said the two launched themselves of the building they were standing on.

Rukia hit the ground first, her feet skipping on the rough ground as she pulled out her sword and activated it in all one swoop. She allowed the smirk to stay on her face as she rushed the largest of the hollows, ducking nimbly under it's flailing outstretched arm and taking a massive swipe straight through it's midriff.

Its roar broke the silence of the night as it turned in a lumbering arch and tried slashing her. She merely flash stepped out of its reach before she was behind it and piercing her sword straight through the fleshly part of his back.

"You little bitch," It rasped as it stumbled forward, blood splattering the dry ground around it. It gave a huge shriek as another of it's friends rushed Rukia's undefended back, she was saved from turning when a huge blast and the call "El Directo!" Being bellowed by Chad as he rushed forward, his arm transformed and he forced a huge wave of reiatsu towards the unsuspecting hollow.

"Rukia! Chad!" Orihime's cries reached both Soul Reaper and human as she readied Tsubaki as the smallest of the hollows but possibly the quickest ran to her, she narrowed her round eyes and called up her shield as it crashed of the golden defense. Tsubaki darted forward and crashed head first into the thick arm of the hollow severing it completely from the rest of its body. A flash of blue streaked past her ear as Uryu engaged the final hollow in a furious flurry of arrows.

"You hollows don't know what you're dealing with coming here to Karakura town," He smirked stepping forward as the Hollow attempted to dislodged the many arrows protruding from it's massive body. "I shall show you the full power of the Quincy,"

The hollow began to laugh, a low rasping thing that signified it's dying breaths. "Something amusing hollow?" Uryu asked taking a step forward.

"You're arrogance will be your downfall Quincy," It's scratchy voice grating Uryu's teeth and causing his hair to stand on end. "Karakura town is no-longer safe," It added with another laugh as Uryu drew a final killing arrow.

"And what do you mean by that? It seems pretty safe to me," The Quincy spat almost angrily, "You're about to die, it seems your friends already have," He half glanced behind him as Rukia sliced straight through the mask of the one she was fighting and killing him with a shriek. Chad pulled back his arm for another pass at his own hollow.

"The substitute soul reaper is out of commission is the word in Hueco Mundo," The hollow sucked in a shaky pained breath, "We came here to kill him,"

Uryu smirked to hide his shock, his eyes closing behind his glasses as he pulled his arrow tighter against the bow. "Seems you failed." And with that he released the tensed arrow and it flew straight and true finding it's target.

Rukia span after her hollow had been purified and watched as Uryu killed his and Chad's roared in agony just before it disintegrated as well. She watched as Orihime pushed hers away from her with her shield and Tsubaki dove right for its chest. But the hollow moved too quickly and launched itself at Orihime's shield, which buckled under its constant heavy assaults. She reaffirmed her stance, but the Hollow did something unexpected. Orihime was prepared for it to barrel headfirst again, but instead it used its immense speed to dodge the shield and get behind it.

"Orihime!" Rukia called in warning and she could see Uryu start forward. There was no time for the archer to get there as the hollow launched itself at the auburn headed young woman, Tsubaki was tossed aside and the hollow launched teeth snarling for Orihime's shocked form. Rukia only had seconds to spare as she flash stepped and shoved the buxom woman out of the way and took the brunt of the hollows attack.

She let out a grunt of pain as she felt her shoulder pop out of place from the angle her sword was at to stop it's teeth from puncturing her skin. The hollow withdrew back as Rukia hit her head, hard, of the ground and gritted her teeth at the blossoming pain that erupted on her skin. She clambered to her knees ready to defend herself, but it wasn't needed as an arrow pierced right through its head and destroyed it in one quick motion.

Silence fell almost heavily among them as Rukia struggled to her feet and cracked the stiff muscles in her neck out. Orihime immediately ran over.

"I'm so sorry Rukia!" She gushed loudly, tears forming in her eyes as she immediately pulled her hands up and called forth her healing power.

"It's fine Orihime, I'm alright," Rukia answered with a reassuring smile as she grimaced slightly in pain.

"Seems I'm a bit out of practice," The flower wielding young woman replied sheepishly as her healing powers spluttered into life and slowly began to heal the Soul Reaper. "Too much cooking school, not enough hollows," She added sadly, a frown marring her normally happy visage.

"The way it should be," Rukia interjected as the skin on her hand began to slowly knit together, she could feel blood drip down her face and her shoulder throbbed insistently. "You're a human, it's your job to live, it's my job to make sure you can do that," She said with a grin one which Orihime returned even if it was a little watery.

"That was bracing," Chad, grunted flexing his now normal fingers again, the huge brown digits cracking from the movement.

"Strange was more like it, there are no humans or souls around," Rukia said surveying the area, it was a quiet park and it was late at night so no one was about.

"It seems they were after one particular soul," Uryu said striding over to the group, as he had been further away.

"What do you mean?" Orihime asked with a confused frown, the others turned to the black haired young man.

"That hollow I killed said that he'd heard that the Substitute Soul Reaper was out of commission and he'd come to kill him." The whole groups eyes widened in shock and horror. Orihime's hands would have flown to her mouth had she not have been in the process of healing Rukia.

"How could they possibly know that?" Rukia asked anger lacing her words, fear eating into her.

"I don't know, but we're going to have to keep a much closer eye on Ichigo when hollows are about," Uryu said, his blue eyes glaring into Rukia's, she nodded.

"Of course, I'll speak to Soul Society and see if I can get someone posted with him permanently,"

"Can't you do it?" Orihime asked her eyes golden from the light of her power.

"It's below my position, as much as I want to," She sighed and rubbed her still aching shoulder slightly.

"He won't like that," Chad said quietly and the others remained silent as his words fell on them.

"He can't know." Rukia said after a minute, "We can't tell him that he's being protected, it would only annoy him and upset him further," She said more to herself than the others. "At least he's safe at home tonight and I'll speak to Captain Ukitake tomorrow."

"Rukia," Uryu's voice sounded almost fearful but strangely irritated.

"What is it?" She asked tiredly, her head throbbing, arm aching, heart clenching in worry.

"Ichigo's reiatsu isn't where it should be." The Quincy responded in a tight voice.

"What?" Rukia gasped at once, her own reiatsu desperately searching his out. She had reined it in when the fight had started and then when she'd been injured she poured it round herself like a protective shield. "That fucking idiot," She whispered loud enough for the others to hear as she pulled herself to her feet.

"Rukia!" Orihime called out, "You're not healed yet, your shoulder is still damaged and your head still bleeding.

"It's fine Orihime, head on back to the house and you can finish patching me up there."

"Where are you going?" She asked the determined looking petit Soul Reaper.

"To get my idiot of a husband," And with that she flash stepped away. Orihime sighed fitfully as she pushed off her knees and to her feet. They began to slowly make their way back to Ichigo and Rukia's house.

A pair of concerned yellow eyes had watched the whole fight and now the owner of said eyes was sitting on a wall being scratched behind the ears by a hat and clog wearing man.

"Seems Hueco Mundo are aware of the situation," Urahara said almost sullenly as he ran a hand across his scraggly beard.

"Yes, but who told them?" Yoruichi responded in her deep cat voice as she turned her head in enjoyment of Urahara's gentle scratching.

"Yes, who indeed."

* * *

He'd been going for a while when he finally came to a stop in the park near his Dad's place. He watched the moon reappearing and disappearing behind the clouds as the night darkened around him and all he could hear was the sound of the wind dancing with the leaves until another sound reached his ears.

"Ichigo," A voice panted behind him, she'd obviously ran the whole way here, "You can't do that," She said crossly; he could hear her move towards him. "You can't just run off when there is a hollow about."

He laughed loudly, the sound so bitter and twisted as his head threw back. "_Run off_," He repeated, the laughter dying suddenly so that it left nothing but it's echo behind. "That's a fucking good one." He spat angrily, hating this self-deprecating manner but completely unable to break out of it. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself, he didn't want to do this.

He turned round and immediately his angry scowl was replaced by one of concern, "Rukia are you okay?" He said his voice loosing it's rough edge and moving forward so he could touch her. She was holding the top of her arm with her other hand, and blood poured down from a wound just above her eye.

He shook his head sadly, "I'm sorry alright? Let's just get you back to Orihime."

She looked like she was going to argue, but instead released her injured shoulder so she could give him her hand. "I thought I told you to not apologize to me?" She asked softly before punching him swiftly on the arm, gritting her teeth as the movement hurt her own injured arm.

He rubbed the spot she'd punched him and shot her a dirty look and she smiled smugly back, "Come on let's go," She said before setting off with him following her.

"You know, training for sports isn't a bad idea," She said conversationally glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she noted how tense his jaw was, the straining muscles on his neck.

"Can we not do this now?" He retorted angrily, his eyes dark and wild as he spoke.

"When will we do it Ichigo? You've been avoiding a lot of things lately," She responded stubbornly, never one to just let him win.

"Rukia, please, just fucking drop it." He muttered angrily as they stopped just outside of their front door.

"You think you hide so well, you think I don't know why. But I do. I can see right through you." She turned round to look at him and he swallowed convulsively, "You think training for something will be the end of it. That you and I and everyone else will just give up, that we'll just be content that you're getting stronger, moving on. You don't want to do this, because it forces you to admit that you aren't getting better, that you might be stuck this way forever. Tell me I'm wrong Ichigo, tell me that's not the reason why." She demanded roughly as he took in a huge breath.

"I can't," He answered as she nodded sadly at him, "I can't tell you that you're wrong," He glanced up at her, the look in her eyes so accepting it made him feel sick and elated all at once.

"I know," She said quietly, before she turned and walked into the house just pausing briefly to say, "But one day you might just have to accept that you can't beat everything Ichigo."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo  
**

_Chapter six: Come to check up on me?_

The sound of birds chirping softly through the window woke Ichigo up from his pleasant dreams. He'd dreamt that he'd been running from rooftop to rooftop, the wind in his hair, Zangestu in his rightful place on his back.**  
**

Someone was calling his name; he could hear their soft voice echo in his ears as he jumped from roof to roof, his feet finding purchase on the concrete ground; his legs deftly moving without any difficulty. Then he'd awoken and the crushing realisation that it had all been a dream came rushing back to him and he was no longer running, but lying on his bed.

He shut his eyes tightly as he calmed his breathing and began his morning routine once again, _move,_ he thought desperately, _just fucking move, please,_ he begged his legs. But they didn't, they remained as lifeless as ever and the ever-present crushing weight landed on him once again.

When he was a boy his mother used to tell him that sleep cured everything, and he'd believed it for so many years. But now he realised that it was a childish belief meant only for kids, and since he wasn't one of those anymore, he couldn't hold on to such beliefs.

He stretched his arms above his head, the knuckles grazing the wooden headboard as he opened his eyes and glanced at the alarm clock flashing 8:13 at him. He would have liked to spend the whole day in bed, but he had physiotherapy at noon and then he was meeting Yuzu and Karin after school. With a sigh he pulled the covers back.

Rukia groaned as the cold air hit her bare arms, the simple strappy top doing nothing to ward of the morning chill. She opened two bleary eyes and saw Ichigo pull himself into a sitting position using one hand against the headboard another tugging on the sheets.

He could feel her eyes on him, she'd usually be away by this time, but she'd came in so late last night she must have been more exhausted than she was letting on. He thought she looked it to, her eyes were darker than normal, her skin just a little too pale, he'd ask her about it later.

"Morning," She said pushing herself up into a sitting position beside him, her arm brushing against his, she felt the hairs rise at their proximity.

"Yo," He replied glancing at her briefly before turning away, his hands helping to swing his legs off the bed, until his feet were dangling just inches from the floor. He looked for his chair and noticed that it was slightly out of his reach; he must have pushed it too far away last night. Normally whenever this happened he'd just drop to the floor and crawl over to it, but Rukia was watching and she would probably freak out if he did that.

"Need some help?" She asked watching his frozen form as she too noticed the placement of his chair. She watched his sturdy shoulders rise and fall in a deep sight before his rough voice answered.

"No, I got it," He said blandly, his voice not giving anything away as he pulled himself closer to the edge of the bed, his arm stretching forward as his fingers brushed against the leather arm of his chair. _Almost there, _he thought with an inward grunt as he shuffled closer to the bed. With a sigh he managed to grasp the chair and pull it towards him, ignoring Rukia's exhale of relieved breath.

"You want some breakfast?" She asked pulling on her dressing gown as he began to move out of the room, her following dutifully behind him as she always had done.

"It's okay," He responded with a shrug before stopping just outside the bathroom, "Do you want to go first?" He asked Rukia who shook her head at once.

"No it's fine, you go ahead," She told him with a smile; he shrugged again and entered the bathroom. She felt a worried frown play across her head as she watched him go. He was becoming more and more despondent and no matter what she did, she couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

Ichigo let out a breath as he hoisted himself onto the toilet to relieve himself. He always found this the hardest, having to pee sitting down, he felt like a little kid again who hadn't quite learnt how to pee standing up.

After that he used the handles to lift himself back into his chair to make his way over to the sink, which had been lowered for his ease. He quickly washed his hands, before turning to the shower and turning the nobs on to heat the water up.

He stripped with difficulty, his pyjama bottoms tangling on his feet as he yanked them down his legs. He sighed when he saw just how skinny and weak his legs had gotten, the muscles wasted away after weeks of not being used. He'd thought the process would take longer, it had only been three months after all but clearly his body hadn't taken too well to doing nothing all of a sudden. Neither had his mind if he was truly honest with himself.

He pulled open the shower door and lifted himself inside onto the seat his dad had put in so he could shower without assistance. He never did thank the old man for that. After a few minutes he felt the water begin to wash away some of the vestiges of sleep as he let the droplets pound against his head, his longer hair flattening against the onslaught of water, he'd been too lazy to get it cut in recent weeks.

He cleaned quickly before shutting of the water, and lifting himself back out grabbing the towel he'd left on a hook and drying himself thoroughly. He quickly dressed in simple navy track bottoms and white t-shirt and roughly dried his wet hair with a towel, the locks sticking up at all ends after the furious rubbing. It was still wet but he didn't really mind as he threw his pyjamas and towel into the clothesbasket and exited the bathroom.

He hated getting ready in the morning; it always made him feel like he'd gone about ten rounds with Kenpachi. It was incredible how something so easy had become something so difficult.

He made his way into the kitchen and saw Rukia all ready to go. She showered before bed last night so she didn't need to go again. She smiled at him, her eyes raking over his messy wet hair and his flushed appearance as he grabbed a glass of orange juice.

"How are you getting to physio?" She asked sipping on her coffee reading the paper they got through the door.

"Bus," He grunted back before taking a drink to avoid her glare.

"Wouldn't it just be easier to ask your father?" She questioned at once and he sighed before setting his half empty glass down.

"No. He has work, he doesn't have time to bring me all over the country." He responded not looking at her but at the small bead of moisture racing down his glass.

"It's hardly 'all over the country' but you don't have to be so stubborn all the time," She answered with a roll of the eyes.

"I don't mind getting the bus, it's easier than listening to my crazy old man's ranting," That she couldn't disagree with as Ichigo scratched his neck.

"We'll look into getting the car sorted next month, we need to wait for my pay from Soul Society to convert first." She said folding the paper neatly. He knew she didn't really understand the things she read in the paper, but she'd read once in a manga she had commandeered from him that that's what normal human's did. So it was something she always did every morning ever since they moved in together.

"Sure, whatever," He replied without care, it made no difference to him, car or bus, it was still the same place he was going. Only the destination mattered, not the method of travel.

"So colloquial you are dear," She said sarcastically, he watched her hands from the corner of his eye, they shook slightly, and he tightened his jaw. He wanted so badly to ask her if she was really coping with the daily journeys to Soul Society and back, she'd told him that she was fine, but he knew she was probably only saying it. He decided he'd talk to her when she got home from work.

He heard her sigh, watched from the corner of his eye as she got up, placed her empty mug in the sink and made her way to him. Her lips pressed gently against his forehead and he fought the urge to close his eyes.

"I'll see you when you get back from your fathers," She said pulling away and he found himself missing the feel of her lips against his skin. He muttered a quick goodbye as she left him to his orange juice.

* * *

Getting on the bus was easy; new technology meant that the vehicle would dip down to the curb so all he had to do was roll on. Paying wasn't a problem either, he'd swipe his card and he didn't even have to talk to the driver. No the hard part of any journey was sitting in the bay designated to disabled passengers and listen to the people around him, pity him, talk about him.

"Oh he's so young," An old lady said sadly to her equally old little friend, he gritted his teeth and ignored them. He pulled his dark hood over his head, his hair being snuffed out from the fabric in an attempt to hide himself from their stares.

"I wonder what happened to him?" Her friend asked as they pulled away from the curb, he gripped the edges of his chair.

"Surely he should have someone with him the poor dear," The other responded and he quickly dug in his pockets for his iPod. He jammed the earphones in roughly and put the music on full blast. He knew they meant well, everyone meant well, they just wanted to make sure he was okay, that he wasn't in pain, or he wasn't struggling.

But he didn't need their pity or their sympathy; no he didn't need any of that shit. He knew what he needed but it didn't seem to be happening, no matter how much he willed it.

Physiotherapy was the only time he ever really felt happy anymore. He wasn't alone here, everyone around him was in the same boat and they knew what he meant by the pitying looks, the sympathetic stares. When he'd first started he had hated it, hated that he was surrounded by all these people who were just like him. It scared him, terrified him to think that this was his life now. How could he protect people, the ones he'd swore to save when he couldn't even save himself?

* * *

"Yo, Ichigo!" A man with black curly hair called to him, he was wearing green sweatpants and a bright orange top.

"Nice outfit Katsuo," Ichigo responded with something that could almost pass as a grin as he moved further into the room. He and the slightly older man had become quite close since he started coming here. Katsuo was married with two kids when a car hit him on his way to collect his youngest from nursery. He'd broken two bones in his spine and was told he'd probably never walk again. But that didn't stop him from having the most positive attitude that Ichigo found himself envying.

"_Just cause they say I won't walk again, doesn't mean I believe them. If you want something enough, it will happen," _He'd told Ichigo over coffee one day, they often went out after their session ended. Ichigo would have had a similar attitude to Katsuo if his paralysis hadn't been caused by some unknown hollow's ability. Though of course he hadn't mentioned this particular nugget of information to Katsuo.

"Want to go to the bar after this?" Katsuo asked as they took their place in the circle that had formed.

"Can't," Ichigo replied almost sullenly, drinking away his sorrows seemed very appealing. "I'm meeting my little sisters after school."

"Awh look at you the doting big brother," Katsuo teased as the therapist entered the room, but the lull in conversation never dipped. "What about kids Ichigo, you ever think of having some?"

"You're crazy right? Like this?" Ichigo asked with a raised eyebrow and more harshly than he intended.

"Like what?" Katsuo asked with a raised eyebrow of his own, "Me and the wife are trying for another one," He added with a huge grin.

"You're mad," Ichigo answered with a shake of the head.

"What you're married aren't you?" Katsuo questioned as Ichigo ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, but we haven't even been married a year yet and then all this happened and Rukia's job keeps her away a lot." He replied quickly as the therapist began talking to the group. Ichigo noticed that even if the therapist was talking, it wouldn't keep Katsuo quiet, especially not if he was asking annoying questions.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Katsuo asked as they began the arm stretches they were instructed to do.

"Sure,"

"When was the last time you had sex?"

"What!?" Ichigo yelled loud enough for every person in the room to look round and glare at him. "Sorry," Ichigo apologised quickly his face bright red.

"I take it, it's been a while then," Katsuo joked quietly beside Ichigo's flustered visage.

"So what if it has?" Ichigo hissed in embarrassment, his face still painfully warm.

"Dude, you need to relax, I've been saying this for ages, you're getting too tense. Get that wife of yours to help you out." Katsuo joked with a lopsided grin Ichigo shook his head in exasperation. Thankfully he was spared from talking as the therapist began to separate them for this week's lesson in upper body strength work.

After class Ichigo wiped the sweat off his head and stretched out his sore and tired arms. They'd spent two hours climbing on and off railings, having their legs stretched and moved and their upper bodies honed. Katsuo was smiling happily; he'd been able to stand unaided for a whole minute today, the feeling in his legs coming back a little bit every day.

"Until next week eh?" He asked Ichigo who was pulling his black hoody back on.

"Yeah sure," He grunted in response.

"Seriously Ichigo, I meant what I said about you being too tense. I know I was joking before, but you're starting to slip a little,"

"What the hell does that mean?" Ichigo asked a little too roughly as Katsuo sighed in exasperation.

"Ichigo you're getting depressed, it happens to us all believe me, but you're falling into this funk and if you aren't careful, you'll find it near impossible to get out of it." Katsuo's normally happy face was marred with a serious frown as he spoke.

"I'm not-" Ichigo began before Katsuo cut across him.

"Just, talk to someone. Me, the therapist, your wife, for goodness sake Ichigo just stop wallowing." Katsuo pulled his bag up onto his lap. "Everyone has bad days, don't let it become bad weeks." And with that last piece of advice he left Ichigo to his thoughts.

As he made for the bus again, he thought Katsuo might have a point but the roar of a hollow broke him from his thoughts. His hand dived for his pocket before he realised that even if he had his combat badge with him, his soul had fused with his body and he wouldn't be able to get out anyway. He watched as the low level hollow emerged from the shadows and began to bear down on the people around him.

He was about to yell out as he sat on watching helplessly when a Soul Reaper he didn't recognise descended on it at once and immediately engaged in battle with it. The soul reaper turned nodded to him and then jumped forward steel glinting in the midday light. Ichigo sighed in frustration, his heart racing expecting the thrill of the fight but instead receiving nothing but disappointment. He turned and moved away listening to the roars behind him. But wondering how that Soul Reaper had been conveniently near and why on earth he had nodded to him.

* * *

"Ichigo!" Yuzu cried happily seeing her big brother waiting for her after school, she ran up to him immediately.

"Hey Yuzu, you ready to go?" He asked dully attempting to smile but unable to do so even for his baby sister. The hollow he hadn't been able to fight still firmly in the forefront of his mind. What if that Soul Reaper hadn't have been there? He would have watched those innocent people getting hurt and he could have done nothing about it.

He ran a hand along his lengthening hair as he and Yuzu made their way to the soccer pitch to watch Karin's match.

"You're letting your hair grow out Ichi?" She asked as they walked, well one walked, one rolled he spat bitterly in his head, hating the stares that they were getting.

He knew Yuzu could see it, her reddening face was a tell tale sign. He was disabled he wasn't a fucking outcast! He'd never do what these people where doing if it was the other way around. He was still a person; he was still entitled to his rights, his privacy, his fucking dignity. But these people, the way they looked at him and at his sister, they way they looked at Rukia whenever they were out together, no they stripped all of his dignity away until he was completely exposed and bared to them. And he couldn't take it.

"Ah yeah I guess," He responded as they finally reached the pitch where the team was warming up. He spotted Karin right away, putting her team through their paces. She made a good captain, determined, loyal and above all ball busting, even if this was an all girls team. She waved when she saw them.

With a pang of longing he wished he could play, he'd always liked soccer, he even played for the team a few times back in high school. But now it was just another thing to add to the ever-growing list of things he couldn't do. He sighed heavily ignoring Yuzu's concerned stare and settled back to watch.

"You were amazing!" Yuzu said joyfully as they made their way back home, Karin smiled smugly as she walked along backwards with her arms behind her head.

"Yeah I wasn't bad," She tried to say humbly but it just came out as big headed, even Ichigo rolled his eyes at her pathetic attempt at humility. Though she deserved to be proud of her performance. Her team had been loosing three nil and then in the second half she pulled them back around, scored a blistering hat trick and set up a teammate for a fourth to win the match and be proclaimed as man of the match in the process.

"Keep playing like that and you'll get a scholarship no problem," Ichigo said as they made their way past the shops nearest their house. Karin blushed slightly at the possibility.

"I'm good, not that good Ichigo," She said and this time she did sound a little unsure of herself. He shook his head immediately.

"Don't sell yourself short, from what I saw you could play for the national team," He added a smile this time, it actually hurt the muscles in his face from being so long unused.

"Yeah whatever," She said sounding a lot more like herself as they travelled through the streets. They had just passed a dark alley, one Ichigo had actually beat a couple of bullies up in before when they heard someone yelling out in pain. They immediately stopped in their tracks as a voice called, begged for someone to stop it.

Ichigo knew he shouldn't have done it, but years of doing just this had him doing it without thinking. He'd moved himself into the alley and yelled "Hey!" Before he could even stop himself. Yuzu and Karin hovered nervously and unsure near the mouth, though Karin had stepped halfway protectively in front of her sister.

A group of men stood around a younger man who was cowering beneath the thugs who still had fists raised. Ichigo could take these guys in his sleep, well he could have before the accident, before he'd been reduced to this. He should have known better.

One of the men laughed, it was low at first and then it got louder as the rest joined in on the chorus. "Look at hot wheels here," he said taking a step towards Ichigo as his cronies formed a semi circle behind him. "You gonna stop us professor X?" He said with a sneer and Ichigo actually raised an amused eyebrow at the X-men insult, these guys were just getting worse.

"Just walk away and we'll forget this happened," He said confidently, his eyes threatening each member in turn. He remembered it used to be more effective when he was his full height not shorter than Rukia sitting in his chair. They laughed again and for the first time in a long time Ichigo felt fear. He'd been so fucking stupid to do this, and his little sisters were here to.

"Look walk away and I won't call the police!" He called out still trying to keep his voice even, his eyes strong. But he could feel his hands shaking, his palms sweating. It reminded him of the first night he'd met Rukia, and he'd stupidly tried to fight that hollow and she'd saved him. He felt just as weak and helpless as he did then, but just like then he knew he still had to do it.

"Oh the police," The main guy cried in mock terror, "We'll be long gone by the time they'd get here. So why don't you just roll along and mind your own business," He said turning back to the man he'd been beating up.

"Maybe we should..." Yuzu said fearfully looking from the men to her brother. She didn't want to leave that poor man to his fate, but what could they possibly do? It was the wrong thing to say however as Ichigo snapped and moved another few inches towards the men.

"I'm not leaving, so why don't you just turn round and face me like a man!" He yelled loudly, he should have expected the punch, right to his jaw knocking him over, his chair tipping and he spiraling out of it. He should have realized that he couldn't even defend himself as he smacked his face off the ground, his cheek and jaw throbbing from the impact. His sisters yelling out in anger and fear, he felt tears enter his eyes as he pressed his head against the concrete. The only mercy was that the commotion his sisters were making had drawn a crowd and frightened the guys off.

He said nothing as complete strangers and his own sisters had to help him back into his chair, he said nothing as they finished their journey home in silence. He said nothing even when his dad asked what happened, even as they ate dinner, even as they told him not to worry. He said nothing.

* * *

"Where is he?" Rukia asked stepping over the threshold of the Kurosaki house, pulling her light coat of as she did.

"Out the back," Isshin answered with a jerk of his head, uncharacteristically serious, Rukia sighed heavily.

"What the hell happened?" She asked exasperatedly as she followed Isshin's tall frame down the hall.

"The girls said they were coming home after Karin's match when they saw some kid being beat up by a bunch of guys. Ichigo intervened and they punched him, he fell over, hit his face off the floor and has sat in a sulking silence ever since." She closed her eyes as he spoke, rubbing the bridge of her nose to ward of her blistering headache. She was exhausted, she had literally sprinted straight from Soul Society to here, she actually felt a little dizzy if she was honest.

It had been getting worse the last few weeks and she'd just put it down to stress. Though she knew fine rightly what it was. Repeated crossings between the worlds was playing havoc with her reiatsu and although she had lied to everyone saying that it had stabilized, she knew all to well that it was getting worse. She was loosing little bits of spiritual pressure each time she passed through and she wasn't in Soul Society enough to gain them back and she wasn't in the world of the living enough for it to stabilize.

Isshin took one look at her haggard appearance, her pale face, her slightly trembling hands, all classic signs of reiatsu depletion. "Rukia," He said softly but sternly, "How bad is the dizziness getting?" He asked as her eyes widened slightly at him, she didn't even bother trying to lie.

"It is still manageable," She answered swiftly, her voice low incase she was overheard, "But I'm not sure how long that will last." Isshin shook his head at her words.

"The passage between worlds was not meant for a daily commuters route. It was for a once off passage through, prolonged exposure could have serious side affects, I don't want to see you get hurt." He said it as quietly as she, all too aware that his idiot son might be listening.

"Thank you for your concern Isshin, but I have no other choice but to do this," She said looking up at him, her eyes bright as she spoke. He still couldn't believe how lucky his son had been to have found someone as dedicated as her, he just hoped the idiot realized what she was putting herself through for him.

She left Isshin to his thoughts as she made her way through the sitting room and waving briefly to the twins before she made her way outside. He was looking up at the sky, his hair bright in the early summer sun, the sight made her smile.

She walked to his side, before stepping around to see the damage down to his face. She frowned at the purple bruise across his jawline and the deep scratches across his cheek. He turned his head away immediately when he saw who it was.

"Come to check up on me?" He asked not looking at her but determinedly at the floor. She sighed deep in her chest.

"Yes, I did actually," She answered truthfully and having the effect she desired, his stormy amber eyes turned back to hers so she could see his battle scars again.

"You're a mess," She told him with a soft smile and it was his turn to sigh and he closed his eyes briefly as he did.

"I know," He said sadly opening them again and watching her reaction. She ran her fingers across his jawline feeling the stubble that had grown there under the pads of her fingertips.

"Ichigo," She said sounding more like a concerned mother, than a worried wife, "You need to be more careful." She didn't want to do this, but she couldn't leave him alone if she thought he'd pull a stunt like this again. "You can't put yourself in these kind of situations anymore." She said as gently as she could, a flash of hurt crossed his face.

"I can't do that Rukia, I can't just turn my back on people in trouble." He retorted almost nastily, his temper always so close to the surface these days.

"Ichigo!" She said sternly, "I'm not asking you to turn your back, I'm asking you to let someone else handle it," She was trying to be tactful, but her patience was wearing thin, her exhaustion shinning through, her fear eating away at her.

"Because I'm so useless right?" He growled angrily, running a hand through his hair, "You're supposed to support me Rukia, not tell me I'm pathetic!"

"What the hell are you talking about? When did those words come out of my mouth?" She shouted back, her hair wild around her face, her body cold despite the warm sun. "Ichigo, I don't think you're useless, I'm not calling you pathetic, I just need you to take more care or you could end up with more than just a few bruises!" She could feel her eyes burning, she blamed the tiredness, it certainly wasn't because of him, at least that's what she told herself.

"You should leave me," He said bitterly, quietly, "I can't give you anything anymore," He added as her eyes welled more as she looked on at the broken man in front of her. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat back down.

"I'm not going to leave you, you idiot. But," She paused briefly collecting herself, his hollow eyes turned to hers and she hoped he couldn't see the wetness of hers, "I think you need to get help. Professional help, you're not coping very well and I don't know what else to do to help you." She knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as she said it, he let out a small yell of frustration. She heard him mumble "fucking perfect" under his breath before he turned to her, his face livid.

"I don't need help Rukia," He said it scathingly but she held her ground, "What I _need_ is to get out of this fucking chair." He spat callously before spinning around and heading back inside. She watched him go before hastily wiping away the one single tear that she allowed to let slip.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Just to clear a couple of things up, firstly Rukia wasn't travelling back between Soul Society and the World of the living before the incident. She was spending most of her time in Soul Society and only a couple of days here and there with Ichigo. Their marriage was more of a declaration as opposed to them actually living together.  
Secondly, I know this story is pretty depressing, but that's kinda what I was going for, it's to show how I think Ichigo would cope with something like this happening. I'd thought about writing an AU like this, but thought Soul Society was a more unique idea, sorry if it gets a little too angsty, but action is on the way.**

**_Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo_**

_Chapter seven: Hubris is a terrible thing  
_

_It's been three months seven days, _he wrote on the small journal he'd been given by his physiotherapist many months ago, _and this is the first time I'm actually writing in this thing. _He paused his pen and took a drink from the glass on the table, ignoring the bitter taste of the whiskey as it slid down his throat.

_So this journal was supposed to a daily logbook of my 'thoughts' and 'feelings' and all of my concerns and achievements. Truthfully I thought it was a waste of time, which is why it gathered dust in a drawer for so long. But now, now I have a use for it and it's to prove that I'm not going crazy. _

_So, here's what's happening. I think I'm being followed._

Ichigo read over the last line and scoffed at how completely and utterly paranoid it sounded, he took another swig of his drink and picked up his pen again. He needed to get all of this down or it would drive him mad.

_Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but the thing is I know it's true. It started about a week ago; I was on the way back from physio when a hollow materialized in front of me. Moving swiftly passed how utterly useless it made me feel not being able to fight the fucking thing myself, a Soul Reaper I didn't know seemingly appeared from nowhere and fought the thing in my stead. I didn't even feel the guy's reiatsu before he appeared. Surely if he was about he wouldn't hide it from me?_

_And why did he nod in my direction? Okay sure he must have known me, it's kind of hard not to know me after all I helped take down Aizen but still it was really strange. It was like I was supposed to know he was there, but how could I if he was hiding from me?_

Ichigo sighed, finished his drink and poured himself another, he'd maybe had too many drinks tonight, maybe that's why he was sitting at the kitchen table at three in the morning writing in a journal he had said he wasn't ever going to write in.

_So you're probably thinking, whoever the hell you are reading this, me probably, that that doesn't seem so bad, what's the big deal? Soul Reaper fighting a hollow? Big wow. But it happened again two nights ago and I know it's not just a coincidence._

_So I was on my way home from Chad's, we had been watching the soccer game it was Japan verses Mexico. It was a close affair and we both had money riding on it but for once in my life I think my luck actually paid off and Japan scored a last minute goal to take the victory. On my way home, I'd declined Chad's offer to accompany me, he never did learn to drive, he said cars didn't agree with him. Can't help but agree with him there._

_So I was on my way home, I probably should have called Rukia, she would have been, and was, annoyed that I walked instead of just calling her for a lift. But I didn't want to bother her, I know she was either out with Orihime or probably in bed early, works been taking it out of her recently. I try not to worry about it and I try not to envy it either, it's just hard you know?_

Ichigo rubbed his tired eyes and thought about going back to bed, his mind was buzzing from the alcohol, with bleary eyes he realized that he had drank more than half the bottle in one sitting. Well whatever worked, he thought bitterly.

_Anyway, I was just taking my time, it was a little after ten and it was a really nice night and I was passing by the bank I used to on my way home from school when I felt the air around me morph and shift. Turning, I saw a portal opening and two huge hollows emerging. I remember scoffing, they were really weak, before the incident I would have been able to take them out with just my reiatsu alone. I wasn't even scared, I was defenceless and alone and I didn't fucking care. It never dawned on me that I could have died._

_I thought it was strange, two hollows happening to appear where I was, I know they seek out strong or unusual reiatsu but mines trapped inside of me at the moment, it's barely readable or so Rukia told me, so I'm not sure why they managed to show up there of all places. That's strange in it's own right, it was like they were specifically seeking me out, but that would be crazy right?_

_Anyway, these hollows started towards me when, you guessed it, the same black haired Soul Reaper from last week appeared from nowhere once again and engaged the two hollows in combat. I stuck around this time, it was really frustrating watching that guy fight, he must be new, cause it took him ages to kill them. Geeze I was able to kill a hollow the first night I got turned into a Soul Reaper for fucksake. _

_Eventually he killed them, and when I went to talk to him, the guy took one look at me, squeaked as if he'd been caught and flash stepped away. Call me unreasonable, but it was all too convenient. Two hollows happen to show up and he just happens to be in the same area? I wasn't even aware that there was a new Soul Reaper for Karakura town. It's like he was following me._

_So that's the point of this journal, if any weird shit happens again, I'm going to write it down so I can see if any patterns emerge. _

He finished writing and wondered if he was maybe spending too much time doing nothing all day, at least he was keeping active he thought letting the ink dry before snapping the book shut.

"Ichigo? What the hell are you doing?" A voice from the door asked, Rukia was standing in a small pair of grey shorts and one of his old shirts, her hand rubbing the sleep out of her eye.

"Nothing, go back to bed," He retorted harshly as he shoved the book between his thigh and the armrest out of sight. Rukia looked between him and the half empty bottle on the table.

"Have you been drinking?" She asked already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from him anyway.

"Just a couple, I couldn't sleep," He said not looking at her but draining his glass in one.

"Ichigo that was a full bottle before I went to bed." She said sounding concerned, Ichigo never drank, he hated the taste of it, he hated the way it made him feel but mostly he hated how damn expensive it was. They only had whiskey in the house because it had been a house-warming gift when they'd moved in months ago.

"Rukia, just drop it," He said shaking his head and rubbing his cheek with his hand. He was tired now, exhaustion creeping into his bones.

"Right," She said trying to keep the small bit of hurt out of her voice. She knew he still hadn't got over what she had said a week ago in his Father's backyard. But she still firmly believed it too be true. Ichigo was not coping very well, no matter how hard he was attempting to hide it. "Are you coming to bed?"

"In a minute," He replied still sitting at the table, his outline casting grotesque shadows on the wall from the small lamp he had on.

"Okay, well, I'm going back to bed," She said in a small voice, he merely grunted in return. Swallowing the lump in her throat and attempting to ignore the twisting of her stomach, she left the room and returned to bed.

Ichigo waited until the door clicked shut before he moved, pulling out a drawer in the TV cabinet and throwing in the journal. He knew Rukia wouldn't look, she never went into the cabinet because he kept his video games there, he also knew that the journal had been here this long and he had told her he wouldn't write in it that he reckoned she would still think it was empty.

With that done, he switched off the light and made his way back down the small hall to the bedroom. Rukia was in bed, but he could tell that she was still very much awake. He climbed awkwardly into bed, his head still buzzing unpleasantly making it harder to get about, his arms shaking underneath him.

He plopped down heavily against his pillows and sighed.

"You stink," Rukia's voice reached him as he opened one eye to see her on her side looking at him warily.

"Thanks," He responded blandly as she rolled her eyes at him.

"I mean it, you reek of alcohol," She told him as she turned around so her back was to him. He knew he should stop being such a dick to her, she had meant well last week, hadn't Katsuo said the exact same thing at physio? It was unfair to hold it against her.

"I'm sorry," He said hoping she got the double meaning, she didn't reply, but he watched her shoulders rise and fall in a sigh.

"Goodnight Ichigo," She said finally after a minute and he thought about pulling her close and wrapping an arm around her, but instead he just had to ask the question that was burning on his tongue.

"Hey Rukia?"

"Hmm?"

"Is there a new Soul Reaper assigned to Karakura?" He watched her tense slightly on the bed, and his suspicion grew.

"What do you mean?" She asked turning round to face him slightly.

"Nothing, it's just I saw some guy I didn't recognise last week taking out a hollow and I thought maybe you knew something about it. I don't remember you saying just." He tried to keep his voice light and carefree as he spoke as if he didn't care one way or the other. He also decided to not mention the second time.

"If there is, he isn't from my squad, I'll ask around and see if anyone new has been posted here," She said biting her lip, and sounding genuinely interested. Her response was so sure; no hint of a lie that he thought that he definitely must be getting paranoid. She rolled over again, her back still to him, but he put his arm out this time. It moulded perfectly around her tiny waist and he pulled her towards him, her back slotting in perfectly with his chest as he buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply.

"Night Rukia," He mumbled sleepily, the effects of the alcohol making him exhausted.

"Night Ichigo," She replied, her hands coming up to rest over his and savouring the warmth he brought.

* * *

_Three months nine days:_

_It happened again._

Ichigo was sitting at a coffee table inside a small café waiting for Orihime and Chad. He had left home early even though he was not supposed to be meeting the others until half three.

_A hollow, a fucking ugly one at that, massive head, massive body but tiny little t-rex style arms came out of nowhere. Maybe I'm out of practice but I didn't even feel this one, it just seemed to appear from thin air._

_Next thing I know I'm being pressed up against the wall by my throat, my legs just dangling limply as I claw at its slimy hand. I know I've got bruises; Rukia's going to freak out with worry when she sees them. It's not like I set out to get attacked, it just kind of happened!_

_Anyway, I'm thinking 'shit I might actually die here', when that Soul Reaper from before jumps down, one clean slice through the mask and another dead hollow. I fell to the ground and he helped me back into my chair. I could have sworn I'd seen him before now that I was up close to him: those three little ponytails he had hanging from his hair look oddly familiar. But it's the tattoo above his eye I think I recognise, it looks like those stupid tattoos Renji has. I asked him who he was, but I know he was lying. He spouted of some shit about being new to this town, but he never told me his name, rank or squad. It's too weird and too convenient._

_I'm not one for seeking out trouble, honestly I'm not, trouble sort of finds me, but tonight I'm going hollow hunting and I'm going to prove my theory right._

With that written, he closed the book and shoved it quickly into his bag, not even sure why he'd taken it with him this morning but glad that he did. He hid the book just in time as Orihime burst into the coffee shop with a huge smile on her face that only widened when she saw him.

"Ichigo!" She bounded over and flung herself into the seat beside him. "How are you? Your hair is getting so long," She pointed out in one breath.

"Uh, thanks," He said slowly with a shrug.

"Oh my gosh!" Her hands flew to her mouth, "what happened to your neck?" She asked as worry etched itself onto her face and he groaned inwardly.

"I, uh, fell this morning and caught my neck on something." He struggled for a convincing lie, he mentally face palmed at just how horrendous that was. But thankfully Orihime didn't notice.

"Oh my it looks really sore, I thought it would have been funny if a giant had of attacked you and you had to fend him off using the only thing in your pockets a pair of chopsticks and you jabbed him right in the eye and- Oh sorry, I'm getting too into this aren't I?" She giggled a small blush dusting her rosy cheeks.

"It's fine Orihime," He managed a tiny grin; there was something about the ginger headed young woman that could always make him forget his problems: Even if it was only for a moment. She was like another little sister to him, especially since she'd lost her own big brother; he had always felt the desire to protect her. He had learned a few years ago that she had harboured feelings for him, ones he could not reciprocate, but thankfully it hadn't caused any animosity between the pair. Now she was just one of his best friends.

"Have you ordered yet?" She asked looking at the table and seeing it empty of any thing.

"Nah I was waiting for you guys," He replied whilst cracking his neck, "Chad said he was running a few minutes late,"

"Oh that's okay, I thought I was late since you were already here," She said glancing at her watch and seeing that it had only now turned half.

"Yeah I was really early, I went to the shops first to get Rukia something for dinner."

"Oh you should have let me cook my latest dish for her, giant Garlic mushrooms stuffed with honey covered cucumber slices and bacon strips toasted in a chocolate sauce dip." Ichigo blanched at the sheer amount of different flavours in one meal.

"Maybe some other time?" He said almost fearfully as Orihime beamed back at him. "How is class going?" He asked to distract her.

And with that she was off, describing each day in carefully remembered detail, only pausing briefly to greet Chad who had entered and order herself a chai tea latte with chilli sauce, she'd brought the sauce herself.

"So that's pretty much my week in a nutshell, how are you guys?" She finished a little breathlessly as both men shared a look.

"Fine," Chad grunted, both orange heads nodded in agreement. He taught underprivileged kids how to play guitar whilst his band performed in different venues every weekend or the occasional wedding. They'd performed at Ichigo's own wedding. Orihime turned expectantly to Ichigo.

"Uh yeah, things have been good," He lied easily as Orihime smiled happily in response. He couldn't even find it in himself to feel bad about it.

They finished their tea with Orihime making conversation for the three of them before they paid their bill and made their way outside into the warm spring day.

"It's such a nice day today!" Orihime said joyfully as they walked along the promenade of shops to her car. Chad was visiting one of his band mates for dinner and Ichigo still had ingredients to buy since the hollow attack had put an end to that.

"Yeah it is," Ichigo replied not really listening, "Hey you guys?"

Chad and Orihime turned to watch him as he slowed to a stop in front of a boutique shops.

"What's up Ichigo?" Chad asked slowly noting the confusion on Ichigo's face.

"You guys haven't noticed anything strange lately have you?" He knew he was risking being exposed but he needed to know if it was just him or not.

"Um, what do you mean Ichigo?" Orihime asked nervously glancing to Chad who remained as stoic as ever.

"Just, um, I don't know…There's been quite a lot of hollows about recently, have you guys noticed this?" Ichigo asked scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. The pair shared another look, Ichigo narrowed his eyes, was it just him or did Orihime look like she was hiding something?

"I haven't noticed anything, have you Chad?" She said quickly waving her hands frantically in front of her.

"No," Chad replied with a shrug of his massive shoulders and Ichigo dropped his head a little.

"That's what I thought," He looked back up again and flashed a careless grin that didn't reach his eyes. "Well until next time, see you later!" He said as cheerfully as he could before he set off past them for the grocery store. His mind buzzing at what he'd been told, he'd definitely be going out at night now to see what was going on.

Ichigo had dinner on the table when Rukia finally stumbled through the door. She made for the bedroom to strip out of her clothes and pull on her night wear without a saying a word before she stomped back out to the living room and threw herself into a chair letting out an irritated huff.

Ichigo watched the whole affair with a raised eyebrow of amusement. "Hi," He said with a grin as she snatched up her fork and dug into her dumplings.

"Hey," She mumbled her mouth full of rice as she spoke; she wiped her lips on the back of her hand after she had swallowed a huge mouthful. "That's better," She sighed happily grabbing the glass of water he'd left out for her.

"Hungry?" He asked in mock amusement as she glanced up at him.

"You have no idea, I've been training new recruits all day and haven't eaten, I swear they're getting stupider." She groaned before taking another bite of her dinner but much gentler this time than. "You not eating?" She asked him spying his empty plate.

"No, I'm not feeling the greatest," He answered truthfully as she frowned softly at him.

"The tablets?" She questioned knowing that the side effects of his pain suppressors often left him with extreme nausea.

"Yeah, my shoulder was hurting so I took them. Kinda wish I'd just manned up and took the pain," He replied with a light shrug.

"Yes well, you are a bit of a wimp," She said with a playful smirk, which he returned with a dirty look. She ate in silence as he stared out the window, his eyes not really seeing the scenery.

"So," She said after clearing her plate and her glass, "Gonna tell me what happened to your neck?"

He glanced back at her, his chin lying on his palm, elbow resting on the table as she stared tight lipped at the purple bruise on his tanned skin. "Hollow," He grunted in response. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened slightly.

"What the fuck Ichigo? Why were you near a hollow in the first place!?" Her eyes where livid with worry and anger, as he fought the urge to roll his own eyes at her over reaction.

"It's not like I could help it. I was going to meet with Chad and Orihime when it came out of nowhere." He shot back trying to keep the anger out of his voice. She sounded as if she was accusing him.

"Shit Ichigo, how did you get away?" She asked her face contorted in discomfort.

"That Soul Reaper I was telling you about the other night saved me. How convenient he happened to be there a second time," He watched her carefully to see if she reacted, but her face remained as closed off as ever.

"I forgot about him," She said quietly, her eyes staring hard at the table, "I'm going to call Soul Society now and find out who he is," She stood up, grabbing her empty plate as she did and walked into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go out for a bit," He called after her retreating back. She didn't register what he had said until he had already left the house.

She hurried back out of the kitchen to find an empty living room, "Shit," she spat angrily running a hand through her hair and snatching her phone out of her pocket.

"This is Lieutenant Kuchiki," She said down the phone, "Give me squad six," She waited as patiently as she could, biting the inside of her lip harshly as one hand came to rest against her hip. She sighed fitfully knowing that her title of Kuchiki being thrown around was still enough to get her what she wanted, _faster._

She'd decided to stay as Kuchiki in Soul Society it was just easier for the moment with Ichigo still very much alive in the world of the living. She remembered explaining to him why she was choosing to stay as Kuchiki in Soul Society; Firstly her brother had named her his successor so as an offering to him she decided to keep his name, the first gift he had ever given her. Secondly she liked keeping work and home separate, when she was in work she was a leader to her squad, a rock to her comrades but at home she was a wife. So it made sense for her to take his name where they'd married in the world of the living and remain a Kuchiki in her home of the dead.

"Lieutenant Kuchiki? This is ninth seat Shirogane, how can I help you?" A small female voice answered her down the phone, Rukia had to bite her tongue in order to keep her temper.

"Hello, is Lieutenant Abarai available?" Rukia asked in a clipped voice glancing at the clock and noticing it was 9:30.

"One moment please, I'll patch you through," The voice answered before three short beeps and then a gruff male voice answered.

"Abarai," He grunted down the phone.

"Renji," She said quickly practically hearing his eyes widening at her call.

"Rukia! What a pleasant surpri-!"

"Save it Renji, I don't have a lot of time," She interrupted the red head who was preparing to bombard her with nonsense questions.

"Sure, sure, what's up?" He responded, his voice sounding a little hurt but she moved past it.

"Who did you send to tail Ichigo?" She asked quickly.

"Rikichi, who else would want such a boring assignment?" He said she could imagine him shrugging.

"It's hardly 'boring' protecting the substitute soul reaper until he gets better," She snapped back.

"You know I didn't mean it like that Rukia." Renji huffed indignantly.

"Renji, Ichigo knows something's going on. He asked me about the new Soul Reaper assigned to this town. Rikichi's going to need to be more careful. He's been spotted now at least twice."

"Damn it's not like he can help it you know, his reports have come back and Ichigo's been attacked three times," Renji answered stiffly, Rukia's mind was calculating. _Ichigo only mentioned two attacks, what else is that idiot hiding? _She thought with a horrible feeling settling in her stomach.

"Ichigo's out there now, call Rikichi and tell him to be careful, tell him to try and take the hollows out _before_ they reach Ichigo." She ordered roughly, she could hear Renji's weary sigh.

"Will do Rukia. Look don't worry about him okay?" He said with a little more concern in his voice than Rukia would have liked, "Ichigo's gonna be fine alright?"

"I wish I could believe that Renji, but it's just not that easy," She replied releasing the breath she had been holding.

* * *

_Three months, twelve days:_

_Two nights of searching and I haven't come across a single hollow. It's not all that strange, it's not like they attack every night. But it's frustrating not being able to test my theory. I thought I sensed at least two last night, but by the time I got there, it's not like I can go that fast, the reiatsu had long since disappeared and I have to wonder if it was ever there in the first place._

_Rukia chastised me for going out by myself the first night, she said if I wanted to go for a walk I could at least take her with me. Because we 'don't spend enough time together anymore', whilst I do agree with this, I could hardly prove I'm not a fucking psycho if she's there. _

_She was out herself last night, which was a relief. She said she was going to Urahara's to spar with Orihime for a bit, she said that Orihime wanted to hone her skills that she had 'gotten rusty'. I don't know if I strictly believe her, the paranoid part of me says she's lying and that she was actually out patrolling last night. I don't want to believe that, I can't believe that. _

_So I'm going out after physio to look. I know this is crazy, I know it's not normal, not alright..._

He shoved the book into his bag, pulled it onto his lap and set off for physio hoping that a hollow might just come his way. As he sat on the bus, his headphones blaring but not really listening to the music he wondered what he was going to do if it turned out he _was _right.

Ichigo went for drinks with Katsuo after physio, they normally didn't go to the bar unless it was a Friday and Katsuo's wife was free to drop them home, but Ichigo had needed to escape so despite it only being a Wednesday he went anyway.

"Whiskey at four in the afternoon? Things must be bad," Katsuo said with a grin, but his eyes had wrinkled with worry.

"They're not, I just fancied something a little harder than a soft drink." Ichigo replied with a shrug and a sip of his drink.

"Beer would have done the same job dude," The older man responded with a nervous glance at Ichigo. "So how are things at home?" He asked all too knowingly.

"Fine," Ichigo sighed, "they're just peachy." He added sarcastically, taking a bigger drink than strictly necessary.

"Ichigo, don't do that man, don't get bitter," Katsuo said setting his own drink of water down to look head on at the orange haired young man.

"I'm not," Ichigo shot back aggressively.

"Yeah you are, you're acting like a punk, drinking during the day, being all flippant about your problems at home."

"Just drop it"

"I can't, I'm worried about you." Katsuo's hand shot out and stopped Ichigo from downing his drink. Amber eyes clashed with green ones. "I know what you're going through, don't make it harder than it needs to be. Don't finish that drink."

Ichigo sighed and set the unfinished glass down, "You shoulda been a therapist you know that?"

"I've been told," Katsuo responded with a relieved smirk. "Seriously, talk to me,"

"I'm fine honestly," Ichigo tried to say but his statement was returned with a look of pure scepticism. "Well I'm not 'fine' but I'm not not fine, do you know what I mean?" He asked the older man who nodded.

"I do, it feels like some days you can barely hold it together right?"

"Yeah that's one way of looking at it," Ichigo shrugged in reply.

Katsuo checked his buzzing phone. "Dammit, the missus is here for me, you sure you don't want a lift?" He asked heaving his bag up.

"Nah I'm good, but thanks anyway," Ichigo replied at once, he was getting ready to go and hollow hunt.

"No worries, you take care okay?" Katsuo asked with another worried smile, his eyes raking over Ichigo's slightly diminished form. Despair was weighing heavily on the boy that much he could tell; he just knew he was missing something important.

"Yeah see you later," Ichigo replied waiting until Katsuo had gone before he picked up his glass, downed his drink and made his way out of the bar.

* * *

_Three months thirteen days:_

_I was right. I'm certain off it. _

_I found a hollow yesterday afternoon; I'm only writing this in now because Rukia was attached to me all last night. Wouldn't let me out of her sight for even a second. This is what is making me so damn sure I'm right._

_I think these hollows are targeting me. It's not like I have much to give anymore, but there's way too much coincidence with these things showing up and me happening to be there._

_That Soul Reaper was there again as well. All of Karakura to protect and he just happens to be where I am? This whole thing is driving me crazy. I want to confront Rukia about it, but I have no idea what to say._

'_So hey I know hollows are after me and I'm pretty sure you know about it, explain.'_

_It sounds like a fucking essay title._

Ichigo sighed heavily, it was five in the morning and he hadn't been able to sleep yet again. Side effect of the muscle relaxant he took, too many tablets, too many side effects. So he'd pulled out his book and wrote down what had happened the previous afternoon and hoped to make some sort of sense of it.

He glanced at the clock and then back towards the hall as if he could see through the walls to where Rukia lay peacefully slumbering. He sighed before moving to grab his jacket. He needed more proof before he confronted her.

* * *

_Three months, fourteen days:_

_Another two hollow appearances, both eradicated before I got there. I think I felt the reiatsu of that Soul Reaper. Yet again they were within ten blocks of where I was._

* * *

_Three months, sixteen days:_

_I watched a soul get eaten by a hollow tonight. It was so much harder than I expected just sitting there useless, to be fair that Soul Reaper tried his best, he almost won too, but another hollow appeared and distracted him right at the last moment. I called out a warning but it didn't make a damn difference. Did I cause that? I can't help but think that I did…_

* * *

_Three months, seventeen days: _

_- Four hollow appearances within my radius._

_- One actual sighting._

_- Two sightings of mysterious Soul Reaper._

_I asked Rukia who he was again; she said he was squad six. Why would they have any reason to tail me? Though I wouldn't put it passed that bastard Byakuya to have me followed._

* * *

_Three months nineteen days: _

_- Tally is up to Ten appearances_

_- Six actual sightings_

_- Four sightings of squad six Soul Reaper._

* * *

_Three months twenty days: _

_I was attacked again, hit my head pretty fucking hard of the concrete, almost fucking missed the Soul Reaper taking out the hollow before it killed me. I asked him who he was, maybe got a little too rough with him but that's not the point: he finally told me his name was Rikichi and he'd been assigned to 'protect the substitute soul reaper from a potential risk to his life'_

_I knew it. I fucking knew it. I'm not just being paranoid, I was being followed and I am being targeted. He ran before I could question him further, I wanted to ask him who ordered him to follow me, and why wasn't I told about it._

_But…I think I already know who ordered it…I think that's why I've been sleeping on the couch the past four nights…_

* * *

Renji stared blearily at the reports placed in front of him, his face drawn into a tight scowl. This was bad. He pulled the small fluttering black butterfly out of his pocket, hurriedly created his message and sent it on it's way.

Rukia was filling out reports, when the small butterfly gently landed atop her upright brush. She held a finger out to activate its message.

"_Rukia, It's Renji, I need to talk to you about something, could you come to the squad six barracks as soon as you get this?"_

She frowned softly, before setting down her brush, standing up and fixing her badge, ignoring the sudden dizziness that hit her. Her hands where shaking all day, it made holding a brush a nightmare, but it was too be expected. She sighed deeply, walking down the corridors silently before leaving her barracks.

She wanted to shunpo to get there faster, but she wasn't feeling the greatest. She knew what it was, damn reiatsu depletion, Isshin was right, it was getting worse and she knew it was only a matter of time before it came back to bite her in the ass. She reached the squad six barracks later than she would have liked, composed herself in case her brother was around and entered the building.

She made her way to Renji's office listening to the hustle and bustle of the busy squad moving around her. She didn't bother knocking before she entered his office. She hadn't been hiding her reiatsu so he'd know she was there.

"Hey, you wanted to see me?" She asked striding into his office. She expected him to smile, stand up and greet her happily; instead he frowned and motioned to the chair in front of him.

"Yeah you might want to be sitting down for this," He said solemnly, the twisting in her stomach worsened as she took a seat.

"Okay," she said slowly watching him for any sign of what on earth was wrong. He stood up, walked around the desk and handed her a folder. "What is this?" She asked confused, taking the file with shaking fingers.

"Rikichi's reports," Renji replied stiffly as her eyes widened slightly in shock.

"Why are you giving me this?" She questioned almost fearfully.

"Just read it Rukia," He grunted, leaning against his desk and crossing his arms. She gave him one last fitful almost desperate look before she pulled the folder open and began to read.

Renji watched as her eyes widened, her face paled and her hands shook slightly as Rikichi's reports from the world of the living told her what exactly Ichigo had been up to when she wasn't there.

"He's been out looking for hollows?" She asked breathlessly half way through her reading. "Fuck! Does he not realise how stupidly dangerous that is?"

"Of course he does, but he want's answers. Rukia, you didn't really think you could hide it forever from him did you?" Renji answered quickly, his hands clenching around his biceps watching Rukia bite her lip. She didn't reply to him, just lowered her head and began reading again.

"He knows," She said blankly as soon as she finished reading the reports. The last one was Rikichi's almost apologetic account of how Ichigo had practically thrown himself at a hollow, allowed himself to get hit and grabbed Rikichi as soon as he got close demanding answers.

"You need to tell him Rukia, tell him what you know." She tightened her jaw and shook her head as Renji spoke. Was this why he wouldn't sleep with her any more? She thought it was just the insomnia caused by his medication, but this was worse than she could have imagined. He was putting himself in the line of fire just to get answers. Was he really that desperate for the truth? Or was he really that depressed he didn't care about his life anymore?

"Did you hear what I said?" Renji's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Huh?" She asked looking wearily up at him.

"I said go home and tell him, and if you need me, I'll be right there," He said almost nervously, she frowned at him.

"You think Ichigo might get violent?" She questioned almost defensively.

"Come on Rukia, he threatened to hurt Rikichi, I don't know what the hell his problem is, but it's not normal behaviour for him. Just be careful is all I'm saying," The red head said roughly, his hand cupping her shoulder.

"No matter what Renji, he would _never _hurt me, that much I'm certain." And with that she threw the folder back onto the table, and left Renji's office, ignoring the look of worry he had on his face.

* * *

Ichigo wiped the sweat of his brow; he'd just come home from physio and was about to document the latest hollow attack. He pulled the journal out of it's home in the cabinet, made his way to the desk and pulled out his pen.

He cracked his knuckles before opening the now worn book to the last page he had written in, ready to start the next entry. What he saw, on what should have been a blank page, caused his eyes to widen in shock.

_So I knew you where writing in this, I was a fool for thinking it was about how you where getting on. I should have known you never would have actually written down what you where supposed to. You always were damn stubborn._

_I didn't read any of the articles except for the first one. They're your business and yours alone, if you wanted me to know what was in them, you would have let me see already. But I do know what this book is for, what you've been doing in your free time. The danger you've been putting yourself in._

_Yes, you are being targeted. _

_Two Months ago we discovered that Hueco Mundo somehow knew of your condition and that the Hollows there wanted to take the glory of wiping you out. _

_I, and I alone, made the decision to contact Soul Society to have you followed for your own protection. I also take full responsibility for being the one who ordered you to be kept in the dark about the current situation._

_I have my reasons for doing this, and I suspect that once you read this, you'll demand to know what those are. Rest assured Ichigo that I had only your safety in mind when I made the decisions that I did. _

_Forgive me,_

_Rukia._

Ichigo finished reading; his jaw was clenched so tightly he felt it would snap any moment. His breathing was heavy as he stared at the words on the page with eyes blazing with anger. "You going to tell me those reasons?" He asked aloud as he slammed the book shut and threw it on the desk.

"I think you already know," She replied standing in the doorway in her uniform.

"Dammit Rukia," He slammed his first of the table his anger making his whole body shake, "Do you always have to be so fucking cryptic?" He spat back.

"I thought it'd be easier if you didn't know, that you wouldn't feel as guilty if a hollow happened to show up looking for you and someone got hurt." She told him quietly and efficiently from the edge of the room. He didn't look at her.

"It didn't. A soul died because of me." He hissed angrily bunching his fists against his eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry," She replied with genuine remorse lacing her words. "Hubris is a terrible thing Ichigo. I was thinking only of how it would affect you to know you needed constant protection."

"What has pride got to do with this?" He shot back, finally looking at her face half hidden in the shadows.

"My pride in you," She replied softly, "I didn't want to see you weakened by the idea that you couldn't defend yourself. I wanted to spare you from that humiliation."

He sighed heavily, his whole mind and body tired from the exhaustion of the last few weeks. "I'm fucking angry with you Rukia, you lied to me, I'm not useless,"

"I never said you where useless, I only wanted to protect you. Don't sit there and tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing if it was the other way around," She said sharply and he sighed unable to argue with her. When he answered his tone was much calmer than before.

"I get why you did it, I just…I'm mad." Ichigo released the tension in his fingers as he spoke.

"I know…You still need it," She said after a moment.

"A bodyguard?" He spat in response.

"Yes, the Hollows won't stop until you're dead, and we still don't know how they found out about you." She said coldly, he hated this wedge between them.

"Maybe I could do them all a favour and just let them kill me?" He responded sullenly, not caring how melodramatic he sounded. Rukia pushed off the door and walked further into the room, her dead eyes finally coming to life.

"Enough. You need to stop this bullshit Ichigo and stop putting yourself in that sort of danger. Please, just think about what you're doing." She was practically begging him now to grow up.

"I know. But it was driving me crazy Rukia," He frowned up at her, her face softening slightly at the look that dawned his features. "I know now, I'll just have to try and ignore it. Might be easier that way," He flashed her a bitter grin, one which she did not return.

"Promise me Ichigo that you won't be so stupid anymore?" She asked her face taut with worry.

"I promise," He acquiesced with a bob of the head, listening to Rukia's sigh of relief. He thought it strange that he gave in so easy, he was furious at the lies, but maybe it was something about how pale her face was. The way her hands shook all the time when she thought he wasn't watching, the way her shoulders stooped just a little too low with exhaustion.

"You can read this now if you want?" He said holding the journal up, "I guess I don't need it anymore."

"Do you really want me to see what's in it?" She asked eyeing the book and his face.

"There's nothing bad, but…if you make dinner tonight, we could both read it together?" His voice was hopeful and she couldn't help but let it seep right into her very core. He was trying, at least for tonight he was trying and she was as sure as hell going to let him.

"Deal," She replied with a small smile that did nothing to belay the fear that was slowly creeping into her heart. She didn't like where this was going.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favourites. So this is my favourite chapter so far and it is definitely the turning point in the story. This is just a warning, this chapter includes a _lemon._**

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo

* * *

_Chapter Eight: Pick yourself up_

_It's been four months and two weeks exactly to the day_ he thought staring out the window as unseasonable rain plastered against the glass. Rukia was late, her dinner getting cold. She'd been getting later every night. She said it was because they were busy, but he knew it was because of him, because he wasn't even half the man she'd married.

They barely spoke anymore, his fault he knew that, he couldn't remember the last time he had touched her, felt her skin under his fingertips, her mouth against his. Weeks since the last kiss, months since the last time they'd been intimate. He wasn't even sure he could anymore. Doctors had told him that it was possible for him to still _feel _it, to still get stimulated and gratification. But he hadn't wanted it, felt no desire for it, he wasn't surprised she'd stopped coming to bed with him at night. She came to bed after he'd fallen asleep and was gone long before he woke up.

She was probably fucking someone else, the thought made him sick, not that she would do it, no he knew she wouldn't ever but that he actually thought it in the first place, along with _good she should_, he blamed it on the tablets they had him on. They gave him nightmares, mood swings, paranoid thoughts, he couldn't stand it, but without the fucking things, he wouldn't be able to get around by himself, they kept his muscles limber so he could get in and out of his wheelchair without help.

A flash of lightening hit the window and he saw his darkened reflection briefly. He hadn't moved much all day, just sat in his chair by the window watching the sky slowly darken, the sun hide behind the clouds. Another flash and he could see how long and wild his hair had got, the gruff stubble all over his chin. He knew Rukia hated it when he went unshaved, she said it scratched her, but since she hadn't so much as looked at him in recent weeks, he didn't fucking care.

He heard the door open but didn't move, just watched as another flash hit the window and he wished that it would hit him and put him out of his misery.

She had a horrible few weeks, there was a massive overhaul of procedures going on in Soul Society, they were trying to make things more efficient, less paper work for them to have to do and as a result she had been kept extremely busy in work. And Ichigo was suffering for it.

She was growing increasingly worried about him, he'd retreated into this shell he'd created and nothing she did could break through it. He barely spoke to her, or looked at her. She knew it was probably the medication he was on, the doctors had warned that it caused side affects but she just wanted to help him and he wouldn't let her. It also didn't help that he barely left the house now, she knew it was because he couldn't stomach the idea that he needed constant protection. Things had been so strained between them that it made her feel like she was going mad.

She stepped through the door to their dark apartment, she thought about calling out to him, but knew he wouldn't answer anyway. She saw him sitting slouched by the window, his eyes hidden even when she turned the light on. She swallowed hard, as he finally glanced in her direction.

His hair was as long as she'd ever seen it, maybe even rivaling the time after he'd stopped Aizen and his face was covered in facial hair, he looked like an animal, cowering in the corner, normally she knew exactly what to say to him, but not now, not with his eyes so dull and he so distant.

"Hey," she said tentatively pulling her wet coat off and setting it on the back of one of the chairs. He didn't say anything and she felt herself tensing slightly.

She missed him, his smell, his touch and oh gosh his taste, she wanted him to know that, but he barely even looked at her, she knew he wouldn't let her close. "How was your day?" She asked a little awkwardly hovering just near the door, ready to run if needed.

"Fine," He grunted and she was shocked that he actually responded. She took a step into the room, noting how his eyes seemed to follow her.

"Have you eaten?" She asked looking at the clock and seeing that it was a little after nine, she was really late tonight.

"Yes," Another one word answer in response, she was about to turn away when he said, "Your dinner is in the microwave, you just need to heat it up." It was the most he had spoken in days and she felt her eyebrows rise in shock. He'd turned back to staring out the window. She smiled a tiny thing and made for the kitchen to heat her dinner up.

* * *

She had just come out of the shower she taken after she had eaten, and pulled her sleepwear on when she heard it, an almighty crash from outside the room. She immediately left the bathroom, her bare feet cold on the wooden floor and made her way into the kitchen.

Ichigo was groaning attempting to pick himself up off the floor, his wheelchair on its side just to his right. She crouched down beside him reaching for him.

"Don't touch me!" He yelled angrily shrinking back from her outstretched hand, "I don't need your fucking help," He added as she kneeled beside him, trying to keep his words from hurting her, but letting them lodge deep into her soul anyway.

He fisted his hands against his eyes, his whole body tensed as he tried to control his breathing, his temper. He was so fucking fed up of living like this; all he'd been trying to do was grab the fucking kitchen towels to clean up and he'd gone over. And now he couldn't even get himself back off the ground. He let out a huge roar of frustration; it ripped out of him and tore his throat, the sound reverberating around the room. His eyes filled with pathetic tears of shame and he tugged on his hair trying to feel something other than deep hatred and hopelessness that had consumed him.

And he had been hopeful, when this all started he took each day as it came, hoping the next one he'd get better, but he didn't. If anything he got worse, his legs weaker and the muscles fading from lack of use. Each passing day, week, month the hope had flickered like a dying candle and then it had finally gone out until he knew deep in his heart and soul he'd be stuck this way forever.

"Get up Ichigo," Rukia said fiercely beside him, he flicked his red eyes to hers. She was looking at him with such a cold expression that he sucked in a painful breath of air. "_Pick yourself up_," She ordered as his eyes widened and she stared angrily back.

"Rukia I..." His voice was choked as he tried to speak but she cut him off again.

"Save it Ichigo. I don't want your excuses for why you're acting so pathetic. Where the hell is your defiance? When the hell did you get so fucking weak?" Her voice, her words, and her eyes pierced right through him and he watched as she rose to her feet.

"Pick yourself up Ichigo. Now." She said once more as he gulped and finally turned away to his curse, his wheelchair. He pulled himself over to it with a grunt, painfully aware her eyes where on him the whole time. He flipped it over, pushing it against the cabinets so it wouldn't move when he hoisted himself up into it. He positioned himself, felt the muscles in his arms tense and lifted himself up and securely sitting down in the chair.

Rukia moved immediately to wrap her arms around his head and he let out a breath of air at her sudden change of attitude. She held him as he wrapped his arms around her and shook against her, realising how damn much he'd missed her touch. She pulled back, her eyes watery like his own.

"Follow me," She said softly pulling completely away and leaving the kitchen. He hesitated for only a moment before he moved after her, flicking the light off as he went.

He thought she was heading to bed, but was surprised when she entered the bathroom instead, and reaching for something in the cupboards. His eyes widened when he saw what it was.

"You need to shave," She said crossly coming back to him, setting the razor and shaving foam on the counter beside the sink. "You know how I feel about facial hair," She scolded and he pouted like a little kid. She'd told him once that all men should have smooth faces because it was the height of excellent male grooming. He'd also seen her looking at the picture of Byakuya they had on the wall when she said it and he'd resented the noble even more than he already did, and wondered briefly if her dear brother had a beard would she make him grow one?

He didn't say anything as she took the shaving cream and poured it into her own hands before she started to gently smooth it over his face. He watched her eyes as she worked, those violets so full of concern and love it made him want to cry all over again. He never thought it was possible for one damn woman to make him so emotional.

She smiled at him when she realized he was watching her, her hands covered in shaving foam as she paused suddenly and searched his eyes for something. He felt his face burn in shame and he mumbled, "You don't need to do this, I can do it myself," He immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say as her hand gripped his face tightly.

"Listen well Ichigo, you are _my_ husband, that it is why I do these things. Got it?" She asked exasperatedly, her eyes burning deep into his own and he nodded his head, her fingers moving with him.

"Got it Rukia," He replied as she held his face for another moment before smoothing the foam again from where her fingers had ruined it, her face calm and expressionless once more. "Just try not to cut me will you?" He teased quietly as she lifted the razor blade and then cut him on purpose.

* * *

"Ichigo?" She asked, her fingers playing with the now short strands of his hair, which she had also cut when they'd been in the bathroom. He had complained that she would do a terrible job, but quickly shut up when he'd seen the murderous gleam in her eyes and the rather sharp pair of scissors she had. Besides she thought she'd done a pretty good job, his hair was always messy anyway.

"Yeah?" He replied sleepily, glad that she was holding him again knowing he was going to have the best nights sleep he'd had in ages.

"Can you believe we'll have been married a year in three weeks time?" She asked quietly, her hand still weaving through his hair making it hard for him to think straight.

"Not really, I can't believe I've stuck you for this long, ow!" He moaned when she pulled roughly on his hair. "It's not exactly been a good year," He added darkly, "I kinda fucked that up." She tugged again.

"That's enough, for better or for worse Ichigo do you remember our vows?" She asked heatedly as he stared at her collarbone, the only part of her skin not covered by her nightshirt except for her face.

"Yeah well you definitely got worse," He responded bitterly and she sighed heavily against him.

"Ichigo, if the roles had been reversed would you have held it against me?" She asked calmly and he immediately shook his head.

"Hell no Rukia," He answered at once.

"Then you need to realize that I don't hold it against you. I know that if our roles had been reversed," she paused and he shifted so he was at eye level with her, she glanced at him, "You would have found a cure already," She added softly, sadly and his grip on her tightened.

"Don't do that," He warned her as she closed her eyes, and he pressed his forehead against hers, "Don't blame yourself for this,"

"But I do Ichigo," She told him, her eyes bright and shinning, "I do blame myself, because I can't help you, I can't make you better. And oh fuck how I want to," She buried her head in his chest to hide from him. He held her tighter, his own eyes closing.

"You are helping Rukia, you are making me better. You're keeping me from falling of the edge. Don't loose sight of that." He said as she let out a breath against him and tightened her hold on his neck.

"Oi, I'm not your fucking teddy bear," He growled softly after a while as her hold on his neck was getting tighter, "I have bones in my neck that are breakable you know!" He added as she laughed against him, the moment passing, their fears quelled for another while. She only held him tighter.

* * *

Urahara sat reading in the soft light of a small candle. He could of course turn a light on, but he always loved reading by candle light, the way the flame would flicker and cast shadows over the text, maybe it just reminded him of Soul Society, not that he would ever admit that of course.

He was so engrossed in his book that he didn't even notice that he was no longer alone. A soft cough broke him from his rapt attention to his novel and his head snapped up giving him the appearance of half hidden eyes in the orange glow.

"Ah Mrs Kurosaki, to what do I owe this immense pleasure so late at night, or rather early in the morning!" He cried happily standing up and taking a half step towards the petite soul reaper who was leaning with her arms crossed against the frame of the door. She was wearing her uniform, her lieutenant's badge proudly on display. But her eyes were darker than even his, her face cold and expressionless as she pushed herself away from the wood and took a few resolute strides towards him.

"You have to fix him." She said quietly, but almost dangerously, the hint of a threat that he'd never imagined could come from someone so slight.

"I'm not sure what y-" He began to play dumb, but she cut right through him like her sword would undoubtedly do.

"Don't play games, you _know_ exactly what I'm talking about. He's loosing his mind like this." She took another step towards him and he could see the hard determination shinning on her face, "And may I remind you he got hurt carrying that thing that _you_ asked him to." Ah there was the guilt, the reason he had been staying up so late. And he did feel guilty, yet again this poor boy's life was in his hands and he was crushing it.

"I have tried Rukia," He said quietly hiding his calculating eyes, "But if such a cure exists, and I'm not sure it does, I have no way of finding it." He added just as quietly expecting her to sigh and tell him that she understood, what he didn't expect was her small hand around his windpipe squeezing hard.

"I don't fucking care what it takes, you _will_ find a cure for him. You _will _help him, or I _will _use all of my power to kill you," Her fingers clenched tighter and he thought about teaching her a lesson, a single move and he would be the one choking her, but instead he let her, because she was right and she was the only one who hadn't given up. She loosened her grip ever so slightly.

"He's done so much for us, this isn't like loosing his powers, this is worse than that. At least he could still protect people then, he...h-he needs us." She turned her eyes to him, her inky violets begging him to help her without actually saying it, she released him and he raised a hand to his throat and rubbed the bruised skin.

"I have been through everything available on these devices and on these hollows but there is very little recorded. I have no way of attempting a cure without another one of the instruments that caused this," His mind was array with algorithms and possible solutions which all had a common denominator; the thing that caused this in the first place, that device they were carrying.

Rukia's head snapped to him immediately, "Is it possible to get our hands on another one?" She said it quickly, almost breathlessly as he eyed her suspiciously.

"Not unless you're willing to go traipsing around Hueco Mundo looking for one." He said, though he hid his smile now, he knew exactly what she was going to say and he berated himself for not saying this sooner.

"I'll do it," She answered at once, her voice strong but low to keep the others in his household from wakening. He let the grin on his face appear as she watched him.

"You do realize how dangerous this will be of course, and how little the chances of success are?" He was saying it but he knew she didn't care, of course she wouldn't.

"I am well aware of the dangers of _that _place," She said confidently, the last time she'd been there she had nearly died, they all had, but she couldn't think about that right now, not when her husband needed her.

"Then listen closely..." Urahara said with a wicked grin, his eyes hid once more under his hat and the possibility for new discoveries within his greedy grasp.

* * *

"Did you tell him?" Orihime asked as they sat in Urahara's basement, they were waiting for the bastard himself to come and open the portal.

She and he had spent hours planning and carefully going over everything he had on these hollows and where they might possibly be. He knew it would be nowhere near Los Noches, or Aizen would probably have recruited them. No it was more than likely they were deep within the forest of the Menos, possibly at the heart of it.

By the time they had completely planned their mission, the sun had almost risen and she had to sneak back in to make sure Ichigo hadn't noticed her absence. The next day she'd gone to Urahara's and was surprised that he wasn't alone. Captain Hitsugaya, Rangiku, Ikkaku, Yumichika and Renji were all sitting comfortably around his little wooden table and asking her when they were to leave. She would have put up a fight if she weren't glad of their presence. She couldn't care less about the dangers of that place, but the more of them there were, the more chance they had of actually finding what they were looking for.

As the little group mingled around the basement, they were joined by Uryu and Chad who were also coming along, it was decided that Orihime should stay, she'd spent more than enough time in Hueco Mundo for anyone's liking, and although she had argued against them, she looked overtly relieved at the same time.

"Rukia? Did you tell Ichigo?" Orihime asked once again to the black haired reaper who had zoned out.

"Ah, no," She said slowly, almost guiltily, "He would've tried to stop us. It's better if he doesn't know." She said almost to herself, a small frown on her face as memories and guilt accosted her. Orihime couldn't help but frown too, a sad smile on her face.

"What did you tell him instead?" She asked tentatively as she looked at Rukia's pale but determined face. She understood the soul reapers decision to keep her one time love in the dark, but it didn't feel right, he'd be furious when he found out.

"That I was staying in Soul Society for a week because Ukitake was unwell, I feel bad about using my captain as an excuse, but it cannot be helped." She answered blandly, her eyes glancing briefly at Orihime's warmer ones.

It was true; she had lied to him, told him that she was needed in Soul Society and that he needn't worry about her. It hadn't been enough to ease his mind, he'd needed more of a distraction and she needed to tell him how she felt before she went, just incase something happened to her, she needed to know that he would forgive her.

* * *

_She took a deep breath before she entered the house that night. She'd spent the whole day with Urahara and the others planning down to the little details what they were going to do, and it was decided that they would leave first thing in the morning. Now she just needed to come up with an excuse for her absence. With any luck it would only be a few days, but she hadn't always been the luckiest of people so she needed to give herself a week just incase._

_She entered the house, relieved that the lights where on tonight, unlike yesterday, she shuddered at the memory. He'd looked so dark, she'd actually been a little frightened of him, his eyes not the warm amber she was used to, they were almost gold and in the lighting he looked like his hollow. So wild and distant. She shivered involuntarily at the thought and wondered if his hollow had been causing him any problems since the incident._

_She pulled her jacket off, tossing it over the chair she always did and looking around for Ichigo who she was surprised wasn't sitting beside the window like he usually was. She was about to call out when he beat her to it._

"_Rukia?" She heard his voice call from the bathroom before he appeared, his face even attempting a small smile for her. She felt a lump form in her throat and she turned away from him, she was about to lie to him, she couldn't bare the look on his face right now._

"_Hey what's wrong?" He asked noticing her grimace, the fact she couldn't meet his eyes._

"_N-nothing," She said quickly turning back to him, "I'm just glad you seem to be a bit happier," She half lied to him, she was glad but it wasn't why she couldn't look at him. His smile widened a little._

"_Yeah, I just thought there's no point moping around anymore right? I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, I don't let shit hold me down." He said coming closer to her and she bit her lip at his sincerity, the newfound hope on his face. _

"_No, you don't," She answered with a smile of her own and taking the hand he'd held out to her. _

_He'd been lying; he'd spent the whole day in deep self-loathing and disgust. He'd been in the bathroom contemplating just ending everything when Rukia had come home and he'd pushed those kind of thoughts back down, they were too tempting. But he couldn't do that to the people he cared about, right?_

_He wasn't stupid, he was so painfully aware of how much strain this had been putting on Rukia, how much of his burden she was attempting to shoulder herself and he found himself needing to relieve her of that. So for her sake, he lied, he plastered a smile on his face, a lie of new found hope and prayed it was enough to keep her in the dark about his real thoughts, his dark secrets of just finding an out. He didn't deserve her, not when she returned his smile, not when her hand held his so securely._

_They'd spent the night together like they used to before all this and whenever she wasn't in Soul Society. They ate together, cleaned up together, argued together and then watched a movie where Rukia asked a million questions about why the characters where doing what they were doing and he answered every one despite how annoying it was._

_She kept trying to find an opening, a chance to tell him that from tomorrow morning she'd be gone for a week, but she couldn't, he'd looked so happy all night, though she caught the dark edges in his eyes and she thought that he was hiding something but she let it slide when his hand caught hers and she found herself happier than she had been in four months. If she couldn't find a cure, maybe they could really live like this? _

_They got ready for bed in silence, Ichigo in just his boxers and her in one of his t-shirts. She felt her heart beat nervously as they turned the light off and lay in silence for a moment. _

"_Ichigo?" She asked into the darkness, her eyes adjusting to nothing but the street lamps and moonlight casting beautiful shadows around the room._

"_Right here," He replied smoothly and she smiled softly at him._

"_I have to stay in Soul Society for a week," She said quickly, just ripping the band-aid off. He froze in the bed beside her, his upper body completely rigid. _

"_Okay, why?" He tried to keep his tone light as if he didn't really care one way or the other, but he'd become so accustomed to her here that it would be strange without her._

"_Captain Ukitake is very sick," She said with her perfected lie, "And we have a new set of recruits that need taken out on their night missions next week." She said hoping he would buy it; she felt his hand reach for her own._

"_That's okay," He said gently, placating her, hoping she would buy it. He just hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid while she was gone. "When do you go?" He asked as she entwined her fingers in his._

"_First thing tomorrow morning, I'll probably be gone before you wake up." She said trying to keep her voice steady but it felt like closing up. She didn't know what made her do it, she couldn't get the bad feeling out of her stomach that something was going to happen, maybe that's why she flipped onto her side, her hand leaving his to grip his face and kiss him as hard as she could._

_He didn't know what was happening, but he responded in kind, his hands roaming all over her back, heat pooling in his lower belly like he hadn't felt for months as her tongue invaded his mouth and her hands crept into his hair pulling him in even closer._

_She was trying to get as much of his taste into her as she possibly could, that strong, intoxicating taste that was all him that she'd forgotten; he tasted so potent, so powerful. Even now, after all this he still tasted as he did the first time he'd kissed her back in his room all those years ago when he was just fifteen. His hands crept under her shirt and trailed lightly across her skin and she wondered if he felt it to, the fire that she had inadvertently started in both of them._

"_Rukia," He breathed against her as they finally broke for air, their mouths still tantalizingly close to the others, enough that each panted breath brushed their lips together. She tasted just like he remembered, like fresh water that had turned to ice, so cold and crisp but so refreshing. Her hand traced his face, her own expression was one of sadness as she finally brought her hand to a rest on his chest, just above his racing heart and she pressed down against the skin as her mouth pressed firmly against his once more and he closed his eyes as she continued to kiss him like there was no tomorrow for them._

_She felt tears fill her eyes, what if she didn't come back, what if she left him? What if he did something stupid and he was taken from this world? The thought made her gasp into their kiss, her eyes clenched tightly as his hand pushed her hair out of her face. _

"_What's wrong?" He whispered against her jaw, pulling back to kiss the skin there feeling how tense she was. She shook her head, her hair falling about her face as she did._

"_It's nothing," She answered breathlessly, "I've missed you," She said as his eyes widened and she kissed him again, her hands more insistent, her mouth more needy._

_She needed to give him a reason, a reason to keep on going. She knew he'd been lying earlier, when had they started lying to each other? Oh yeah to keep the other safe, wasn't that what she was doing? But she had such a bad feeling about leaving him, she needed him to fight, at least for a week so she could fix him, so he needed to _feel_. Right now she would make him _feel, _she'd make him remember what it was like to be alive. She had to, for her own sanity._

_She straddled him completely, his mouth wrenched from hers when she grounded herself against him. He let out a shocked pant, "fuck," he gasped as she did it again, her face hard and her actions critical. He could feel her and he could feel _it. _The first thing he'd felt below the waist in four months and he couldn't believe it. He pulled her down so he was kissing her desperately, yanking her top and ripping it completely over her head so she was in nothing but her panties. _

_She reached her hands down and gripped him through his boxers, he jerked on the bed, his body curving in on itself. "Can you feel it Ichigo?" She breathed into his ear, the sound sending shivers down his body. _

"_Yes," He panted as she slipped the fabric out of the way so that he was bared to her, "I...I c-can f-feel it," He gasped as she ran her fingers across him. _

_There was no time for foreplay, she knew he loved to make sure that she was satisfied, that her gratification took precedent over his own. But this was not about her, and as much as he wanted to touch her, please her, she couldn't let him, not when she needed him to know. She pulled her underwear off and slipped him inside of her, completing her like only he could._

_Her head fell back as a low, sultry moan escaped her at the feeling. Her hands clenched on their position on his hard chest muscles that quivered under her touch._

_She could feel Ichigo's hands grip her tightly, his fingers bruising the skin on her thighs. She started moving, her eyes meeting his as she did. He was having a hard time keeping it together, it had been so long for them both and too long she decided as she quickened her pace slightly, his breaths coming out in pathetic pants._

_He was in paradise, he was sure of it, he'd missed this, he'd missed her, and as she tried to bring him to completion, he couldn't believe that he'd thought about giving up. He had all the reason to live for right here in front of him. He knew he was lucky, he knew the sacrifices she made for him, how hard all of this had been and she must have known he'd lied to her earlier. Maybe that's why she was doing this now, maybe she just needed to give him a reason to keep going, and it was working._

_He thought this sort of position would be emasculating for him, it was why he hadn't wanted it, felt no desire for it. He didn't want to just lie there and let Rukia have to do all the work. He was so glad that she did. Her hands found his and pulled them from her now bruised legs and up to rest on her breasts, her small digits over his much larger ones. He complied with her wishes, allowing his fingers to squeeze and tweak in the way he knew she liked. Her head snapped back again, the creamy flesh of her neck completely exposed and he felt the heat in his stomach rise at such an erotic sight._

_She was on fire, her whole body alive as she moved on him and his hands stopped the aching, she wasn't doing this for herself but when her own release hit her she was more than pleasantly surprised. She let out a silent scream, Ichigo's hands anchoring her in place as she fought to keep herself moving even though all she wanted to do was slump forward and stop this madness. It was too much. Thankfully though, her own release triggered his and he finished with a strangled roar, his chest heaving and fingers tightening around her waist. _

_She collapsed on top of him, their sweat-covered bodies rubbing against the other. She tried to control her breathing, her eyes screwed tightly shut, the sound of his heart racing too quickly beneath her ear. "I love you Ichigo," She gasped and panted, "I love you so much it fucking hurts," She felt his arms wrap around her more securely. "Please, don't give up...please...d-don't l-leave me," She felt tears escape her and she hid her face so he wouldn't see._

"_I won't, Rukia, I won't, fuck I won't," He was gasping for air too, his eyes rimmed red just like hers, "I love you," he whispered and she couldn't help the tiny sob that left her mouth when he tipped her head back so he could look at her properly. He pulled her face forward for a soft and gentle kiss, "I love you," He told her again as they rearranged themselves on the bed._

_She pulled him into her arms, his soft hair rubbing against her breasts. She draped one of her legs over both of his her heart hurting when she remembered that he couldn't feel it. His arms snaked around her body and he pressed a small kiss against her chest. She shuddered at the feeling. They lay in silence for a long while, both exhausted but both scared to sleep._

"_How are you feeling?" He asked softly, his fingers running over her lower back watching goose bumps rise on her skin._

"_Lost," She whispered back into his hair, he kissed her chest again, and then pulled his head back so he could see her face, she looked so broken. "I know I'm not always where I should be, that I leave you by yourself..." She said so quietly he barely heard her._

"_Don't," He said just as faintly, "You're always with me, just like I am always with you" She screwed her eyes up again, a small tear falling from them that he quickly wiped away. She was only ever like this with him, only ever open when she lay in his arms. The rest of the time she put on these masks so no one would ever see, but he did, and it wrecked him. _

"_But it's gotten so hard Rukia, I feel so useless. Like I can't offer you anything anymore." He said slowly, his own defenses completely gone as he looked in her eyes. "Like I don't know who I am without my power…" He broke off, his eyes fixing themselves on her chin so he wouldn't have to see the expression on her face. He felt her body moving against him, her heartbeat strong against his own._

"_Idiot," She said softly, "I'll tell you who you are, you are my husband and I am your wife. Nothing else matters but that." She gripped either side of his face as she spoke, her eyes shinning and full of so many emotions. "The things I do: I do for you, for us. Do you understand?" Her voice was strong, stronger than he ever could have imagined; he looked up. _

"_Yes Rukia, I understand." He said just as strongly back and her face broke into the most breath-taking smile that he couldn't help but let out a shaky breath and return it._

"_Just wait for me okay?" She asked settling him against her again._

"_Hey, I'm not going anywhere," He answered quickly and truthfully. How could he? He felt so ashamed of ever thinking of just giving up, she had the measure of him once again, proving that like always she knew him better than he knew himself._

* * *

"It's time," Urahara said walking into the middle of the small circle they had formed without realizing. Rukia felt a small jolt of nervous tension in her stomach that only compounded her guilt of how she convinced Ichigo to keep strong. She shouldn't have lied to him, then made love to him, if something happened it would only-

No...She stopped herself, nothing was going to happen, she was going to find this thing, bring it home and heal him, in that order. Nothing or no one could keep her from her goal. With that firmly in mind, she turned her head back to Urahara as he spoke.

"I don't even know if such a place exists where we can find these hollows, but I advice extreme caution if you do find them. There is no room for error here," He told the group who nodded collectively, taking a step closer together to wait for the portal to open.

"Rukia, can I speak to you a moment?" Urahara asked stepping in front of her, with a small frown she nodded and followed after the shopkeeper.

"What's the matter Urahara? We don't really have time to waste here-." She said sharply, spinning to face the half hidden eyes of the former captain.

"How is your reiatsu doing?" He interrupted bluntly and her eyes widened at both the question and the intensity of how it was spoken.

"It's fine," She answered almost reflexively, her eyes darting everywhere but his.

"Rukia," He said slowly letting out a low breath, "I know it's not fine, it's weak. Weaker than it's been for a while, almost as weak as-"

"I am well aware of that," She answered cutting across him now, "But I assure you it won't be a problem." Her cold eyes fixing him with an unwavering stare.

"Rukia, this isn't just about you, or even Ichigo for that matter. All those people out there are here for the two of you. If your power is waning, you shouldn't go." He folded his hands into the sleeves of his haori.

"That isn't even an option," Her anger boiled instantly, "I will admit that my power has been fluctuating recently, repeated daily trips through the dangai have weakened me considerably. But I will not be a burden to these people." She answered almost defiantly, daring him to challenge her. He didn't, a coy smile formed on his lips instead.

"Then let's get to it," He added as she nodded curtly and marched away. His smile faded imperceptibly, he was sure he wasn't the only one with a bad feeling about this mission.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer Bleach belongs to Kubo**

_Chapter Nine: Whatever you're thinking, forget about it._

The sands of Hueco Mundo were exactly how he remembered; harsh, endless and hostile. The strange moon the only light on the white dunes beneath his feet as the group moved swiftly across the perpetually nocturnal desert. Renji could never have believed that he would be back in this barren place once more, but as he ran over the loose surface, hot on Rukia's heels, the realization hit him.

Rukia's pace was unyielding, she had become the almost pseudo leader of the little group despite the presence of a Captain. Hitsugaya remained his usual stoic self as dead tree after dead tree broke the monotonous white every now and then. He thought that Rukia was beginning to verge on reckless, her uncompromising need to heal Ichigo clouding her usually sound judgment. But he followed behind her; he after all knew what it was like to hold someone's life above your own. To give blindly, act irrationally and take incomprehensibly dangerous risks to protect. He could feel her dwindling reiatsu. She should have been confined to a bed in the squad four barracks until she had recovered, not using every single last drop to find something that might not exist. But he did not pull rank, he did not judge, just followed and hoped for Ichigo's sake that she made it through.

They had somehow managed to get into the forest, it almost happened by accident as they came across a huge sinkhole, the strange trees of the forest just visible beyond the white sand.

"Looks like this is us," Hitsugaya said blandly as he pulled to a stop just at the mouth of the hole. "We should decide now what we are going to do once we get down there, from your previous report," He looked at Rukia and Renji, "This is no place to be idly walking around."

"No it's not Captain," Renji answered swiftly, "But the place is so huge it could take us weeks to even cover half off it,"

"We don't have weeks, we have days," Rangiku pointed out with an unhappy grimace, her face stoic as she regarded the forest below her.

"I feel it would be best it we split up." Hitsugaya said to the group, "We'll cover more ground that way and split our focus on what we came here to do."

"Didn't we come to find those weird hollow things?" Ikkaku asked scratching a non-existent itch on his face.

"Yes, but there is another issue at hand that must be addressed." Uryu added as he put both hands on his hips, a knowing smirk on his mouth.

"Care to enlighten us?" Ikkaku asked back trying not to show how confused he was.

"Hollows have been targeting Ichigo in the world of the living," Uryu said turning his head slightly away from the group and closing his eyes, his glasses dull in the moonlight. "We intend to find out who ordered the hit,"

"Wasn't it the same hollows that attacked him in the first place?" Yumichika asked, wondering why he hadn't bothered to ask any of this stuff _before _they'd left.

"No, we don't think the two are connected," Rukia said as she took a step inward in the group, she had been trying to discretely get her breath back. "We haven't seen any sign of those hollows again since it happened, all the attacks have been low level ones."

"Most likely, it's some powerful hollow with a bunch of minions at his disposal who ordered the attack and sought to claim the glory of it." Renji finished for her as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"huh, that makes sense I guess," Ikkaku grumbled his face relaxing, "If that's the case then allow me to go and find the bastard and take him out personally."

"No," Uryu cut across him at once, "Chad and I will go and find the Hollow responsible and end it's existence," Chad nodded in agreement.

"You shouldn't go just the two of you," Hitsugaya pointed out.

"I'll go with them Captain," Renji said at once, neither Uryu or Chad had any objection, after all they knew the red-headed soul reaper very well, both having fought by his side before.

"Very well, we'll travel down together and then part ways once we get there." He turned to Ikkaku and Yumichika, "I trust you two are okay to search together?" He asked the two squad eleven Reapers.

"Of course," Yumichika responded with a curve of his mouth.

"Let's do this then," Hitsugaya said before jumping feet first into the sinkhole, the band of Soul Reapers and humans following in his stead. When they landed at the bottom they were immediately engulfed by thick foliage.

"What I would give for that Ashido guy to be around," Renji complained swiping a branch away that immediately swung back and smacked him in the face. Rangiku smothered her raucous laugh behind her hand.

"Ashido is back in Soul Society where he belongs," Rukia replied evenly, not even looking back to him or slowing her pace. "After the war finished I contacted squad 12 and they were able to bring him home. Though I did hear he was in two minds about leaving." She added as they came to a small decline in the path.

Dark trees ahead over shadowed the track and low hanging branches that would probably rub against Renji's head, the tallest of the group, as he walked. The path just screamed foreboding.

"Well doesn't this look fun," Rangiku said sarcastically, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword. "Just when I thought this place couldn't get any more creepy." She added with a pout and Hitsugaya rubbed his forehead.

"If you are just going to complain the whole time, why did you bother coming?" He asked irritably, his lieutenant giving him his daily migraine.

"Don't be like that Captain," She crooned, "You'd miss me if I wasn't here." She said it all whilst rubbing him affectionately on the head; he slapped her hand away at once.

"Let's just go." Rukia interjected forcefully even surprising herself, they'd already wasted too much time, and that was something they didn't have right now. Urahara had warned that in exactly one-weeks time, the gargantua would open back on the surface for them and it would not open again. Of course they had a small device he'd given them to contact him early, if they found the thing they were looking for before the week was up, but at this rate they'd need the main portal and the full week.

"You okay?" Renji asked concern lacing his voice and features as they walked through the ever-shrinking path; he now had to stoop to avoid low branches. Any other day this would have been a chance for her to mock him openly, but not today.

"Yes," She replied sounding tired, "I just don't want anything to hold us back." She answered truthfully as he nodded in response.

* * *

"Dammit!" Ichigo yelled as he dropped his bag for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. He cursed as the contents of said bag went spilling all over the floor, some of them shooting under the table and he knew he had no hope in hell of picking them up.

He was late, so it was the only acceptable explanation as to why everything was suddenly going so terribly wrong that morning. As he repacked his bag with new items from the drawers and the ones he could be bothered reaching, he realized just how much he had taken for granted Rukia packing his bag for him every night.

Three days without her presence and he was useless, not that he'd ever tell her that, if she thought he was, her smugness would be ten times worse than it previously was. He was already late getting up that morning, Rukia normally set his alarm for him after hers had gone off and he hadn't thought to do it himself. Three damn days in a row. Then he forgot to pack his bag, and finding clean clothes had become a bit of an issue, _seriously, _he grumbled, _how can one person go through so much clothing in just three days?_

He made his way outside, eyes squinting slightly against the harsh light, he'd have to be quick to make the bus or he'd be late to physio. The bus was just about to pull away when he got there, but the driver must have been in a good mood as he waited for him.

"Thanks," Ichigo puffed to the sympathetically smiling driver as he swiped his card and made his way down the bus, wiping a hand across his forehead to wipe of the sweat. He leaned back in his chair slightly, cursing himself for forgetting his iPod, but finding that he was actually feeling very positive.

He couldn't quite hide the grin on his face when he thought about _why_ he was feeling so positive. In all honesty he'd forgotten how much he'd enjoyed having sex. It was quite the thing to forget he admitted internally as the bus crept along in the morning traffic. But unbelievably he had forgotten, and in a way he was kind of glad, it meant what he and Rukia had done the night before she left had been so much better, like the first time all over again.

He sighed heavily, his hand raking through his hair as he realized that Rukia wouldn't be back for another four days so he'd have to wait until they could have a repeat performance. It was just like her to do something so drastic to pick him back up again, he was just thankful it wasn't being stabbed or thrown in front of a hollow again. As he withdrew his hand from his hair he frowned lightly looking at the baby finger on his right hand. The tip of it seemed to be numb, he was about to touch it with the other hand when he realized with all his perverted thoughts he'd missed his stop and he had to hastily get off at the next stop.

Thankfully he didn't have too far to backtrack as he made for the building his physiotherapy classes where in. He was to meet his new one-to-one instructor today. Since it seemed that he would probably be a long-term case it had been decided that he should be given a private therapist to help his rehabilitation. He would of course continue his lessons with the others, but since so many of them were progressing and he wasn't, it would be easier if he were given additional support. As he entered the building through the automatic doors, he just hoped that they weren't too rough on him.

* * *

"You've got to be shitting me." He said loud enough to be heard in Soul Society, he shook his head in amusement.

"What's with that look Ichigo?" The current cause of his shock said with a teasing laugh, "Is that the kind of greeting you give to your oldest friend?" The young woman added as she came to stand in front of him with her arms folded.

"I'm just wondering how unlucky a guy has to be to be stuck with you," He joked back as her face split in to a grin and his quickly mirrored it. "It's great to see you Tatsuki," He said as she punched him playfully on the arm, he rubbed the spot with a grimace.

"Still a wimp I see?" She asked after seeing his face.

"No, I'm not a wimp!" He argued back, "You just have a really strong arm!" He added with a childish pout as she laughed heartily.

"Well I am the strongest woman in Japan after-all." She mused lightly as he rolled his eyes.

"I keep forgetting you finally nailed that top spot, took you long enough," He tagged on at the end even as she threatened to punch him again. "Seriously though, what are you doing here?"

"I started working here this morning," She said as she pulled out a hair tie to tie her long black hair back.

"That so, I heard you graduated from University, thought you were going on to America?" He asked with a light frown, it felt good to be talking to Tatsuki again, he appreciated that the look of pity old friends had in their eyes when they met him now, was mercifully missing. It was like it didn't even register to her that he was in a wheelchair.

"I was going to, had the tickets and all booked, but then my mother took sick again so I canceled the move. Turns out it was the right thing to do, I ended up getting involved with physiotherapy in the hospital before I was asked to come and do a one-to-one with a patient here."

"I'm so lucky," He replied sarcastically as she dropped her arms after she had fixed her hair. She was wearing casual track bottoms and a white t-shirt with the name of the hospital written across the chest. She hadn't changed at all since the last time he'd seen her at his wedding almost a year ago now.

"My thoughts exactly, I didn't know it was going to be you until I came down this morning. To say I was surprised was an understatement!" She cracked her neck slightly, and he cringed at the sound.

"Ichigo! Where have you been dude?" Ichigo inclined his head to see Katsuo walking over, leaning heavily on crutches. Ichigo's face split when he saw his friend had decided against the chair today.

"Over here talking to my new therapist," He said nodding his head in Tatsuki's direction, "She's actually an old friend of mine,"

"Katsuo Miyamoto," Katsuo said to Tatsuki as he came to a stop just to Ichigo's right.

"Tatsuki Arisawa, Ichigo's oldest friend," She added with a mocking wink in Ichigo's direction, he ignored her.

"So you've known each other since you were kids, tell me, was he always this petulant even as a child?" Katsuo asked with a grin and Ichigo growled in irritation.

"Oh Ichigo was the biggest cry baby ever. We used to go to the same karate dojo and every time we fought I always beat him and he always cried." Ichigo pointedly ignored his burning face as the two of them laughed happily at his expense.

"That does not surprise me in the slightest," Katsuo said wiping away a tear of happiness.

"I hate you both," Ichigo grumbled angrily and the two laughed again.

"No need to be so testy Ichigo," Tatsuki said lightly, "He always was sensitive," She added to Katsuo who roared with laughter as Ichigo let out a grunt of frustration.

"So how's Rukia? I haven't seen her in ages, I must call in," Tatsuki asked as they waited for the last few people to get there.

"She's good, I'd invite you round today, but she's in Sou- I mean, she's working away for the week," Ichigo hastily said realizing that Katsuo was still with him and would probably think he was crazy if he started talking about Soul Society.

"Ah, that job of hers keeps her pretty busy doesn't it?" Tatsuki said before excusing herself to go and speak to the group therapist.

"You seem in a better mood," Katsuo pointed out as they began their upper body warm up. "Did you do what I suggested?" He added with a perverted wink, Ichigo ignored him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ichigo replied blankly as he pulled his arm across his chest and stretched his triceps.

"You so got laid didn't you?" Katsuo was practically bouncing at this point.

"Shut up!" Ichigo responded quickly glancing around to make sure no one else had heard, "Do you have to be so damn loud?"

"I don't hear you disagreeing," Katsuo said almost in a singsong voice as Ichigo's face burnt bright red.

"I really hate you." Ichigo hissed through gritted teeth, though his words had no real conviction.

"Well…was it worth the wait?" Katsuo asked after a few minutes of silence, laughing as Ichigo nearly slid out of his chair at the question.

"Seriously! I am _not_ having this conversation with you!" Ichigo's face was flushed, his eyes bulging indignantly in his head.

"Ah come one Ichigo, don't be a spoil sport!"

"What's wrong with him now?" Tatsuki asked coming over after the warm up had ended, she was going to be doing some upper body work outs with Ichigo as the others did some leg work.

"Don't you dare say anything," Ichigo warned the smiling man.

"He finally had sex since his accident and he won't give me the dirty details." Katsuo smirked evilly at Ichigo who shot daggers back.

"What are you a woman?" Ichigo grumbled under his breath as Tatsuki raised a narrow black eyebrow.

"Yeah come on Ichigo, details, its part of the healing process after all," She said as one man laughed and the other face palmed, the sound of him slapping his face reverberating around the hall.

"Like hell it is," Ichigo groused angrily before he moved away from them, "I'm done having this conversation with you two children." He made his way over to the gym equipment.

"Too easy," Tatsuki said watching him go.

"Tell me about it." Katsuo agreed with a huge grin on his face.

Ichigo pulled himself onto the bench press, laying his legs either side of the cushioned seat as he checked the size of the dung bell weights before he lay back underneath them. Tatsuki came across to stand just above him, her face upside down in the angle he was lying as she reached her hands out to grab the bar.

"You up for a challenge?" She asked Ichigo as he raised an eyebrow in questioning.

"What sort of challenge?"

"You lift more than the previous weeks you've been here-"

"How do you know what my previous lifts are?"

"I have your file here," She said knowingly pulling it seemingly out of thin air and taking a quick glance down at it. "Beat your previous record and I'll buy you a drink."

"And if I don't?" Ichigo asked cautiously.

"You buy me one. Simple. You game?" Tatsuki asked with a grin and he wondered if this is why she was given the job of one to one, she always had a unique way of dealing with people and now it seemed she was going to push him to better himself. To be honest he hadn't really cared about pushing himself because everything had seemed so damn pointless, but as he watched Tatsuki's smirking face, he couldn't help but match her grin.

"Yeah, I'm game, let's do this." He answered quickly, one hundred percent determined to beat her and wipe that smug look of her face.

* * *

"Shit!" Renji cursed loudly, his back slamming into a tree. He felt his grip slacken on Zabimaru but tightened it instantly. He pulled the blade up just in time to stop a huge fist from crushing him completely.

The hollow disappeared as soon as Uryu got his arrow away, Renji's body falling in a heap on the ground and he instantly reached his hand out to pull him to his feet.

"That was close," The red head panted as Uryu turned his bow ready for the next wave. Renji wiped his brow as he searched the area, seemingly deserted for now.

"I can't remember there being this many hollows last time," Uryu stated as he finally lowered his weapon and allowing it to disappear now the danger had passed.

"I agree, and none of them have been any help at all." Renji groaned straightening his slightly damaged robes, turning to see where Chad had gotten to.

Chad jumped down beside them from the tree he had climbed, "No sign of the others," He said in his calm, deep voice as Renji swore under his breath and Uryu sighed. It had been three days now, three days of constant fighting and three days of finding nothing and they were quickly running out of time.

"We better get moving," Renji said grumpily stepping forward again, his sword back in its sheath. "Let's try that area over there," He pointed to a narrow path through the trees that seemed to have light at the end.

"Did we really think we'd find anything in this place?" Uryu asked as the walked along, the only sound their feet crunching on dead branches and their quietly spoken words.

"We had to try," Chad responded in a low rumble, his words short but no less true. The two other men nodded their heads and agreed at once.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. That damn Ichigo would do it for us wouldn't he?" Renji mumbled as he pulled a branch out of his face and paused momentarily to listen for any more hollows.

"Let's just keep going for now, we can head back in two days to meet up with the others," Uryu said as the other two nodded in agreement. They moved silently after this decision had been made, their eyes peeled for danger. They emerged from the narrow path into a clearing of sorts, it was wide enough for them to stand in and stretch about. It was also wide enough for two hollows to drop down into the clearing.

"Dammit, not this again." Renji groused as he pulled out his sword, the hollows didn't attack however.

"You are the Soul Reapers looking for our master?" The smaller of the two said in an extremely squeaky voice, the three shared a look.

"Who is your master?" Renji asked whilst narrowing his beady eyes.

"The one who seeks the death of the substitute soul reaper," It replied, its eyes glinting as it spoke.

"How do you know that?" Uryu asked, his face screwed up and a bad feeling dominating the pit of his stomach.

"Our master knows everything, now come," The hollow replied with a menacing grin, Chad immediately transformed his arm and Uryu pulled his bow up.

"We aren't going anywhere with you, but tell your master we're coming for him," Renji shot back with a smirk; the hollow merely put his head back and laughed.

"You seem to think you have some form of control here, you are sadly mistaken." The hollow laughed after he had spoken as the three stared in shock when red eyes began to glow in between the dark trees of the clearing, they were more than outnumbered. "Shall we?" The hollow asked again and the three lowered their weapons, as they shuffled forward, Renji just hoped the others were having better luck than they were.

* * *

"A beer and a water please," Ichigo grumbled as he placed his order with the bar man, he couldn't believe that Tatsuki had won their bet, though he staunchly believed that she had cheated and would therefore claim that he had won the moral victory.

_He lifted the first weight without any bother, pulled the bar right down to his chest before extending it to his full arms length and then allowing Tatsuki to help him place it back on the rungs._

"_That was easy," He said with a confident smirk, which was quickly wiped of his face._

"_Ichigo that was just the basic weights, I haven't even added any Kilo's yet," Tatsuki replied whilst trying to keep the laughter out of her words, she failed miserably._

"_I knew that, I was just merely saying it was easy," Ichigo grumbled furiously as he felt his face burn. Tatsuki lifted up the two massive circular kilo weights and placed them on the end of the bar._

"_Ready?" She asked as she helped Ichigo get a decent grip on the bar, as soon as he lifted he felt his muscles tighten and strain as he pulled the bar down to his chest. Yeah this was much harder than before and he cursed himself for not having been working out properly in recent months, he should have been the size of a small tank in his upper body now given how much he was supposed to have strengthened it, but instead he wasn't any bigger than before the incident. Sure he had well defined muscles that Rukia just seemed to love and hate in equal measures. She loved feeling his arms around her, she'd told him that once, she loved grabbing onto his arms whenever they made out and she loved staring at his arms and abs whenever he wore tight tank tops around the house. But she hated the attention he got from other women, especially before the incident random women couldn't seem to keep their hands off him, Rukia fervently denied being jealous, he of course just found it pure amusing that his small wife felt threatened by other women. They couldn't make him happy, not like her._

_He lifted the bar up, sweat breaking out on his forehead before he had extended it and Tatsuki was pulling it back onto the rungs again. "Good Job," Tatsuki praised as she lifted the next two weights and added them on. "You might just beat me at this," She mused as he panted softly. They did this four more times, he straining himself whilst Tatsuki encouraged him gently to keep going. He was now on the most he had lifted and it had taken him two attempts to lift the bar off his chest, Tatsuki had to jump in both times._

"_Maybe we should stop Ichigo, you've done great for today," She said a worried frown on her face and seeing how affected he was._

"_No," He panted back, sweat dripping of his head, "I can do this," He said and she nodded in agreement. Something had changed in him; from his file she had read that he wasn't willing to push himself, that he had been increasingly sullen and retreating inside himself. It was why she got the gig even though she was just out of university and had no real experience, when they had found out she was his old friend they thought that her attitude might rub off on him. As she watched him strain his arms to pull the weight down, she wished she could take the credit for his transformation, but she didn't do this. She had a firm suspicion who was the cause, and she was pretty certain that yet again that it was that damn short Soul Reaper Rukia Kuchiki who had done this._

"_Ahh," Ichigo grunted aloud as he pushed his arms up, the muscles aching and cramping as he fully extended his elbows and held the bar for the allocated three seconds before Tatsuki grabbed it and flung it back onto it's stand. "Damn," Ichigo exhaled as he dropped his throbbing arms that where glistening with sweat._

"_I'm impressed, didn't think you had it in you," Tatsuki joked but the sincerity in her voice couldn't be missed. _

"_You doubted me, I'm hurt," Ichigo responded sarcastically as Tatsuki lifted two more kilo's and added them. _

"_Ready to try and beat me?" She challenged as he nodded in agreement. He lifted his tired arms and she guided his fingers into a better position. "You know, your file says you've been pretty resistant to all help." She said matter of factly as he lifted the bar achingly slowly down to his chest._

"_That so?" He grunted as his whole arms shook from the pressure of holding the weights._

"_Yep, it says you refused to go to the next stage and that you often give up easily. Why do you think todays different?" She asked as he gritted his teeth in exertion._

"_Dunno. I wanna beat you." He puffed back, his fingers sweating like crazy and his grip slipping slightly._

"_Hmmm, you sure that's it?" She wondered aloud as he began to raise his arms and her eyes widened when she realized that he was about to actually beat her. She shook her head sadly; she'd let him win at some point, but not today. "I think it has something to do with that wife of yours…" She said slowly pulling out her ace card._

"_Huh?" He groaned as his arms started to shake violently and his procession much slower than before._

"_Yeah, maybe your problem all along was," She watched as he was about to fully extend his stretch, "you just needed a good fu-_

"_Fuck!" Ichigo yelled loudly as the bar dropped down onto his chest and knocking the air out of him, he grimaced as Tatsuki laughed and pulled the bar back into position, knocking the weights of it first because it was actually too heavy for her too lift even if she was the strongest women in Japan._

So that's how he ended up buying the drinks, because Tatsuki had brought up the sex thing.

"Thanks," she said happily as he handed her the beer and he sipped his water. He was trying to stay off the alcohol given how easily he seemed to be drawn to it recently. "So how have you been really?" She asked after taking a deep drink.

"What is this our mental therapy session?" He mused good naturedly as she shrugged in response.

"That's kind of what I'm here for," She answered after lowering her drink and setting it on the table. "Hime says you've been having a rough time of it," She said but it was stated like a question, he sighed before answering.

"Yeah, it's been a tough few months, I'm not…it's…" He stopped talking unable to find the right words to say.

"It's hard right?" She asked knowingly as he looked up at her behind the rim of his glass, it was his turn to shrug now. "I think how you've coped is amazing, not everyone could have kept going like you. No-one expects you to be a hundred percent all the time."

"I do," Ichigo mumbled under his breath, she smiled sadly back.

"Yeah well you always where too hard on yourself, always expecting to be the greatest. But still, you were pretty positive today, your file got it wrong."

"Rukia and I had a sort of heart to heart last week. I didn't even realize how hard all of this has been on her and how stupid I've been acting. I've decided that if I'm to be stuck like this, then the least I can do is try," He muttered almost embarrassed at the confession but Tatsuki didn't mind at all.

"That's more like the Ichigo I know, never letting anything hold him back," She said as he smirked at her, they fell into a comfortable silence. "So was this before or after you guys had sex?"

Ichigo had gone home after they'd finished their drinks and as he made himself dinner he reflected on his new positive attitude. What was happening wasn't going to change, but _he_ could and he'd prove to Rukia that her sacrifices weren't in vein. Things where definitely going to be better, they had to be and when Rukia finally came home, they'd make this work. With those new thoughts in mind, he let a smile play on his face and hoped Rukia was feeling as optimistic as he was.

* * *

Rukia was tired, her feet sore and her body aching. She felt dizzy, had done for the last two days of the four. Normally it went away after she had some sleep, but not this time, this time she couldn't shake it. Her vision swam dangerously again as she gritted her teeth and ignored the shaking in her hands. She'd felt this way before and it scared her. Back when she'd first given Ichigo his powers all those years ago and before Urahara gave her a gigai she thought she'd pass out at any moment, barely able to stand on two feet. She was literally running on fumes, and with each hollow attack she'd barely been able to use her shikai and had stopped using kido altogether, _just a little longer_, she told herself.

Rangiku and Hitsugaya where on either side of her, she would have preferred to have gone alone, but the white haired Captain had insisted on staying with her, she didn't question his order though, he was her superior after all.

"How long has it been?" Rangiku asked her Captain quietly out of earshot of the black haired reaper who was intent on searching every last corner of Hueco Mundo.

"Four days," Hitsugaya answered blandly, "We're running out of time." He added looking up to the flirtatious blonde who was nothing but deathly serious right now.

"She won't stop, even when the time is up." She answered solemnly staring at Rukia's petite form, "and have you felt it?" She asked the Captain who sighed fitfully.

"Yes," His voice low and bitter, "She's barely anything left." He frowned as he too watched Rukia before shaking his head slightly. "When the time comes, we'll have to force her home." He said his turquoise eyes flicking up to Rangiku's blue ones.

"I understand Captain," She said with a curt nod, her own eyes narrowing as she made good pace behind Rukia, secretly hoping they'd find what they were looking for so they wouldn't have to resort to those kind of measures.

"We should rest for a bit," Hitsugaya called, his own pace speeding up ever so slightly so he was alongside Rukia's panting form. She turned immediately to the Captain, her footsteps slowing as she did. She was about to argue when they both stopped completely swords drawing as they did.

There were four of them, crumbling yellow masks dripping with dark red blood and claw like hands. "What are those things?" Rangiku muttered her sword turned towards the hollows who were slowly closing in on them.

"If we destroy them, we might never find where they come from," Rukia said the warning in her voice and the suggestion hanging in the wind.

"Whatever you're thinking forget about it," Hitsugaya warned at once, his eyes narrowed on the hollows he'd never seen before. "If you think they won't try to kill us, then you're wrong." He said with force as Rukia bit her lip to stop from arguing. The four hollows attacked as one and they barely had the time to get out of the way.

"Growl Haineko!" Rangiku cried holding the hilt of her sword as the blade was reduced to ashes and moved towards one of the hollows. It immediately roared and tried to get out of the way of the sharp ash. Rangiku forced it after the now retreating hollow as it screeched in pain each time the cinders cut into its skin.

Hitsugaya was fighting two at once, he'd thought about calling Bankai but felt like it might be a very unnecessary elevation of power, so he was using only his shikai at the moment. "Reign over the frosted heavens, Hyorinmaru!" He yelled calmly, jumping into the air and pulling his sword downwards as pure ice shot from the tip in the shape of a dragon and went cascading towards the two hollows.

Rukia was panting as she rolled out of the way of the latest attack. Blood trickled down from a thin cut on her cheek and the sweat covered every inch of her skin, white sand sticking to her as she flash stepped away once more. She hadn't activated her shikai, she wasn't sure she had enough left to do it anyway. Her two comrades were fighting efficiently, but something from the corner of her eye caught her. A strange green shimmering light that was moving faster towards them.

"Move!" Hitsugaya yelled jumping to Rangiku's side before she followed him away from the light that just screamed foreboding. Rukia's eyes widened when she realized that the light was moving like the blue one that had paralyzed Ichigo. She swallowed hard when she noticed the Captain and Lieutenant that were moving towards her, Urahara's words springing to her mind;

"_Rukia, this isn't just about you, or even Ichigo for that matter. All those people out there are here for the two of you. If your power is waning, you shouldn't go."_

She gritted her teeth and pulled her sword up, "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki," she called to her sword, blade blinding white and the little power she had shooting outwards as Hitsugaya and Rangiku reached her. "What are you doing?" The Captain asked hurriedly, his pale skin glowing green in the light.

"I won't be a burden," She said before dipping her sword into the ground, "Tsugi no mai, Hakuren!" She called as pure white snow forced it's way out of her blade and straight towards the oncoming green light, the two meeting half way and colliding, a sound like a gong going off at the impact.

She was winning, the light retreating when all of a sudden, a pain like she hadn't experienced before coursed through her body and she yelled out, stumbling forward and onto her knees. Her sword clattered to the ground in two pieces as her eyes widened, the blade grey steel again, reflecting her shihakusho that had turned pure white indicating a complete loss of reiatsu. She had just enough time to raise her head, hear the others call her name before they were all engulfed in green light and everything went dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo**

* * *

_Chapter Ten: Is there a cure?_

Ikkaku and Yumichika had been slowly making their way back to the rendezvous point when they'd felt Captain Hitsugaya, Rangiku and Rukia's reiatsu's fluctuate and then disappear completely.

"That's strange," Ikkaku said slowly as he glanced around him, almost as if could see the cause of the disappearance.

"And quite troublesome," Yumichika added with a sigh as he flicked the hair out of his eyes. "Should we try and find them? Or continue on back to the meet up point?" He asked Ikkaku who was holding his sword in his hand.

"This is a damn pain in the ass, let's try and find Renji and the others first and then we can decide from there, no point dragging this out." Ikkaku replied with a shrug as he readjusted his grip on his sword.

"Fair enough," Yumichika said in agreement as he turned to make his way back. He stopped suddenly.

"Why are you stopping?" Ikkaku asked almost bored, they had been expecting to fight several hollows and all they'd come across was some measly trees. He was beyond irritated and now Yumichika was just adding to it.

"Can you remember which way we came?" Yumichika asked with a smirk knowing fine well that Ikkaku was in a bad mood.

"Of course it's-…uh it's this…um…" Ikkaku span round in a circle a few times before he swore loudly, they were now lost and had no idea how to get back.

* * *

Renji, Uryu and Chad stood in a large clearing that was completely surrounded by hollows in different shapes and sizes, although they weren't all that strong, the sheer amount of them could be a problem. Though Uryu firmly believed that by using his _ginrei kojaku_ he could effectively take them out, after all he fired 1,200 shots consecutively and his aim was _always_ true.

"Ah welcome Soul Reapers," A raspy voice called out from the small ledge over looking the clearing, all three heads immediately snapped up as a hollow stepped out of the shadows. He was very unassuming for a supposed leader of others, his skin was a rough dull blue colour and he was no taller than Chad but twice as wide. His hands where huge in comparison with his body, and it didn't seem to have any thumbs on them. But his seemingly unthreatening appearance put the three on edge.

"I resent that Soul Reaper comment," Uryu said speaking up at once, his face set in hard but determined lines. "I am a Quincy, I do not wish to be associated with them," He added as the hollows masked face turned to him. Its mask was white like a normal hollow and it was shaped almost like a bear, all it was missing was the little ears.

"Forgive me, I just assumed you where all Soul Reapers, you all have that foul stench on you," The hollow responded, his calm demeanour suddenly becoming menacing as he spoke.

"That's quite alright, But I won't forgive that slight on my pride next time," Uryu returned just as blandly, he was trying to stay in the limelight so Chad and Renji could plan their next move.

"So I understand you are looking for the one responsible for the attacks on the former Substitute Soul Reaper? The one who stopped Lord Aizen?" The three shared a look as the hollow took small steps forward.

"How do you know that?" Renji asked whilst narrowing his eyes, Uryu fought not to roll his eyes at Renji for giving them away.

"I know everything, this is my domain after all," It thundered back.

"Yeah, we're after the one ordering the attacks, do you know who it is?" Renji questioned his hand fingering the hilt of his sword already knowing the answer.

"Of course, I ordered the attacks, the glory of taking down the Substitute will be mine and mine alone." The hollows voice caused the hair on the backs of their necks to rise as it spoke.

"Wow, you wont even do your own dirty work, that's kind of pathetic," Renji replied whilst rubbing his neck, he was being intentionally irritating to try and unsettle the hollow to give them the upper hand.

"I can see how you would think that, but my servants work for the glory of me, so it's really my victory," The hollow wasn't even phased as it dropped down into the clearing in front of them. "It's not that I can't take him out, it's that I simply don't have to."

"Is that so?" Uryu asked calmly as he stepped forward, "Well we're here to stop you." He added confidently as the hollow threw it's ugly head back and laughed.

"You can try," Was all it said before clapping it's hands and all the hollows in the vicinity drew back into the shadow of the trees once more leaving the area clear.

"Before we kill you, answer us this? Who injured the Substitute Soul Reaper in the first place, if you really know everything," Renji challenged as they spilt apart slightly to give themselves more space. For the first time the hollows calm and over confident demeanour slipped and it spoke almost in reverence.

"Not even hollows dare tread in the heart of the forest, we stay clear of that harbinger of death and pain," It said rather cryptically, the three shared a sceptical look.

"Who is it?" Renji asked in spite of himself, the hollow sneered once more.

"Something that makes me look pleasant. Now enough chatting of horrible things, I thought you wanted a chance to take me out?" The hollow asked with a laugh.

"That's right, we're going to put a stop to all this!" Renji called out angrily.

"Three on one hardly seems fair," The hollow sneered, "Perhaps I should make it more even," With those words it began to glow white causing the three to squint against the intense light. No sooner had it started had it dropped away and they where left staring at not one but three hollows that all looked identical.

"My name is Sanyo," All three spoke at once, "And I will be killing you today." The three hollows split apart and launched themselves separately at the still shocked forms of Renji, Uryu and Chad.

* * *

Chad stood in a clearing of his own, the trees completely still behind him as he narrowed his eyes at the enemy in front of him. He hadn't expected the hollow to be able to split itself into three, but it mattered little. He made a fist with his right arm, felt his reiatsu flow like water all around his flesh and then his arm transformed into _Brazo Derecha de Gigante_.

"That is a most unusual power you have there human," The hollow, Sanyo, said with a cold sneer. His mask shone even in the darkness of the forest and Chad felt sweat form on his head, but he would not loose. His strength was three times what it was the last time he was in this place and he would not allow himself to be defeated by this hollow. He made a promise to always have Ichigo's back, so he would win.

His hand tightened into a fist and the force of it sent shockwaves of reiatsu spilling out from the top of his shoulder, the white light blinding in the darkness and he allowed a low grunt to form behind his teeth. The hollow didn't even make an effort to move, it simply stood it's ground, its round belly the perfect target for Chad as he drew his arm back, the whole air around him moving with him and he thrusted his arm forward. "El Directo!" He yelled with a grunt as the power shot down from the top and forced itself out his fist and straight at the hollow hitting it square on.

Chad's eyes widened as the smoke cleared and the hollow merely dusted itself off with its large hands. "Is that it? That was rather disappointing," It took two steps forward and Chad readied his fist again. "I was told that the friends of the substitute Soul Reaper where much stronger than this. Ah well, I will simply kill you just so I don't have to look at you any longer." And with that said he casually flicked his wrist and a huge blast of dark blue reiatsu shot out from it and straight at Chad.

* * *

Renji jumped backwards as another huge fist landed in the spot he had been in seconds before. He wiped the sweat from his face as he pulled his sword in closer to his side. _Dammit, _he cursed inwardly_, this thing is stronger than I thought. _

"Why do you resist the inevitable Soul Reaper?" The hollow rounded him, his red eyes watching carefully as Renji took tiny steps to his left readying himself to move again. "You are going to die," Sanyo launched forward again, but Renji surprised it by holding his ground and using Zabimaru to block the huge fist coming his way. He pushed it back, the hollow letting out a surprised exhale of air as Renji's smirk widened.

"It's my job to kill hollows like you," Renji said confidently as Sanyo let out a roar of anger, "You're weak, I've faced tougher," _Goading it probably isn't the best idea_ Renji thought as he dived out of the way again, dropping his body into a roll as he threw his sword into the air and straight at the hollow. "Roar Zabimaru!" He yelled as the perforated blades sliced deep into the flesh on the hollows arm and it snapped back instantly.

"You arrogant Soul Reaper! I am like nothing you have faced before!" It roared with so much fury even Renji was taken back by it as it launched itself forward, thick hollow skin clashing with steel as Renji parried blow after blow, the hollow fighting too aggressively for him to get a proper strike in.

He flash stepped backwards by instinct and in that moment, the hollow left itself completely open as Renji's smirk widened and he flicked the length of his sword round aiming it straight at the Sanyo's mask and waiting for it to destroy it.

* * *

Uryu felt the battles of his comrades around him, but he paid little attention to them, his bow was formed and he had just finished firing another full volley at the hollow, each arrow sinking straight into it and causing massive wounds to appear on it's large body. But no matter how many times he hit it, no matter how true his aim was the hollow would stubbornly not die.

"I have heard about you Quincy's," Sanyo said slowly as he panted and dripped blood all over the forest floor, "You are not at all like I thought you'd be," The hollow answered as it straightened up. "You're fast, but not fast enough," It moved at once, it's body a blur as it headed straight for Uryu who cursed inwardly and had to use hirenkyaku just too get out of the way in time. This Hollow was much faster than he had anticipated.

Uryu fired another volley, combining his hirenkyaku with his ability to curve the arrow he was shooting so that each arrow found it's target, despite barely standing still long enough to shoot. He span around in a half circle and watched each arrow strike Sanyo's mask and nothing happening. His frown deepened and he gritted his teeth, _why isn't this thing dying?_

* * *

Chad grunted as the blue light hit him and he was forced backwards. He had activated the shield on his arm just in time, he felt the searing heat of the attack but it left no lasting damage as his feet dug into the ground and he came to a stop, his shield smoking slightly as the light faded away. _Thanks Abuelo,_ he thought inwardly as he straightened his back and stood higher.

"Well that was most amusing, perhaps you aren't useless after all," Sanyo crooned as it formed another blue ball of light and threw it towards him. This time he dived to the left, narrowly missing it and firing another El Directo at the hollow hitting it square in the face. His eyes widened when the hollow merely stepped forward, no damage at all done to his mask and he wondered briefly just how strong this thing actually was.

"What are you?" He asked as he stood to his feet again, he could feel the restlessness in his soul, he remembered feeling the same thing the last time he was here and he knew that his ultimate power was calling to him. He would use it only if he had to.

"An opportunists, even your tiny human brain must be able to understand that." It answered with a raspy laugh Chad felt his power flowing again, but he had hit that thing square on and it hadn't done anything. Just what exactly was he facing here?

A black and red blur flew past Chad as Renji's body hit of the floor and all the wind left him. He let out a huff as he forced himself to his feet and wiped away the blood falling from the cut on his cheek. "Damn," He said standing up, albeit shakily onto his feet, "You're better than I gave you credit for, I really didn't want to have to go all out on you, I was saving my strength for the real enemy."

The Sanyo he was fighting let out a roar of fury at Renji's words, "Are you not taking this seriously Soul Reaper?" It yelled as it landed down in front of Renji. Its body was identical to the ones fighting Chad and Uryu but it's power seemed slightly different from what Renji had observed. Uryu's was fast, faster than the one he fought and Chads seemed capable of firing huge blasts of reiatsu, the one Renji was fighting was more interested in brute force more than anything.

"Not really," Renji replied casually, "Like I said before I've fought far worse than you," He twisted his sword to the side and let his reiatsu build, "And I think I've finally found out how you work," With those words said he yelled Bankai and immediately felt the power flow through him as his sword morphed into the huge snake like beast his Bankai allowed him to wield. His smirked widened as he drew his sword around and sent the entire thing towards Sanyo.

Uryu had watched Renji's exchange from the corner of his eyes and he allowed his lips to twist into a smile of his own. It seemed the usually dense Soul Reaper had figured out the truth as well. He'd momentarily replaced his arrows with his Seele Schneider as he slashed at Sanyo and gathered as much reishi as he could.

"Why are you smiling Quincy? Does death amuse you that much," The hollow roared, blood still dripping from it's flesh as it rested momentarily before launching itself at Uryu once more, the Quincy blocked with Seele Schneider before taking a step back out of it's way.

"No, but I've figured out what's happening." Uryu responded stopping suddenly, his sword slack at his side as he watched both Renji and Chad beginning to step up their own battles. "Your ability allows you to split your skills and your own body into three making you a formidable opponent."

Renji let out a yell as he shoved the Sanyo he was fighting back first straight into the ground and creating a massive crater, dust and debris flying everywhere as he did.

Chad deflected another reiatsu ball before he closed his eyes and sighed heavily, feeling the power deep within him racing to the surface. His eyes snapped open as he spoke _"Brazo Izquierda del Diablo,"_ He half whispered, as his whole left arm grew bright before transforming into a hollow like arm. The Sanyo he was fighting narrowed its red eyes.

"That feels like a hollow power," It hissed as Chad hid his eyes behind his brown hair once more, "You really are unusual for a human,"

"Witness my ultimate power," Chad said slowly as he drew his left arm back and began summoning all of his strength and power.

"You tried to bring us down by separating us, so that we couldn't defeat you, but it seems all three of us have figured out your secret." Uryu was saying as the two others prepared for their final attacks, Uryu placed a Seele Schneider into his bow and drew back. "Separated you are unbeatable, no matter how many kill shots we take you cannot be destroyed. But if all three of us attack simultaneously, well it might just work." And with those words spoken and Sanyo roaring in abstract anger Uryu fired his shot and Seele Schneider stopped just before it hit Sanyo's midriff and formed a blue box around the hollow.

"Behold the power of my Gert Springer," Uryu said simply before pulling out a Ginto and flicking it ever so casually as it hit off the end of Seele Schneider and it instantly imploded.

As Uryu was doing this Chad had pulled back his left arm and called on all of his strength as he prepared to finish the Sanyo he was fighting. He felt rather than saw Renji and Uryu do the same thing and he bellowed "La Muerte!" And the whole area seemed to irradiate with power as the attack hit the hollow dead on and it seemed to suck the very life out of him, his offering that he had made.

Renji laughed just once before saying, "It's over, you should never have messed with the Substitute Soul Reaper," Sanyo couldn't even speak as Renji pulled his Bankai back before yelling "Hikotsu Taiho!" And a huge blast of reiatsu fired from the snakes' mouth straight at the hollow.

Renji panted heavily as he allowed his Bankai to fade and Uryu approached him from the side. "Is it done? Did we kill it?" Renji breathed as Chad joined them, both his arms back to normal but he was covered in a light sheen of sweat. Uryu looked as calm and unfazed as ever much to Renji's annoyance.

Uryu watched as the hollows that had been watching dissolved into the shadows of the trees and disappeared. "It seems like it's over, I don't think anything will be bothering Ichigo from now on," He said placing both hands on his hips.

"Seems that fool owes us big time," Renji added with a happy smirk as Chad nodded in agreement. "What now?" Renji asked as he straightened up and sheaved his sword.

"Now? We go and find the others, its nearly time to meet up," Uryu said though he was frowning as he did.

"You feel it to?" Chad asked as the turned to leave, the area mercifully clear from enemies.

"Yeah," Renji said slowly his eyes closing momentarily, "There's something really wrong." With those words left hanging in the air, they set of in the direction they had last seen the others in.

* * *

_How long has it been?_ Hitsugaya thought solemnly as he shifted in the chains that held him. His skin raw from trying to break out of them. He was hoisted onto his feet, his toes dangling of the floor. Rangiku sat crossed legged beside him, her hands also in chains, but she was less of a threat than him so she was allowed more freedom of mobility.

His eyes where trained on the raven-haired girls unmoving form just in front of him. She wasn't chained up, she didn't need to be; her back was a mass of cuts, bruises and congealed blood. Her clothes had been completely torn to pieces, her white bindings almost completely undone, as she lay motionless on the cold dusty ground.

He sighed heavily, his head hitting the back wall; this had gone so badly wrong.

_They woke up collectively, their bodies being roughly carried along a dark hallway with strange red lamps the only source of light. Hitsugaya frowned from his position over the shoulder of a hollow. He thought the red light looked familiar, almost like Kido._

_They were brought into a large chamber, he could hear Rangiku complaining at brutality from in front of him but he couldn't turn his head to check on her, nor had he heard from Rukia and he hoped she was okay. She had used her power, that second dance of hers almost repelling the light which must have been some form of temporary unconsciousness, he could still feel all of his limbs, still had movement apart from being chained up. _

_Without warning he was dumped heavily on the ground, an irritated groan leaving his lips as Rangiku moaned loudly beside him. Rukia was o his left, he was relieved to see that she was conscious, though his eyes widened at the pure white shihakusho she was wearing, she'd obviously lost a lot more reiatsu than she had been letting on. He shared a look with Rangiku before they were interrupted by the presence of the leader of these hollows._

"_Welcome, Soul reapers," A rough voice drawled, it sounded unused, as if it didn't talk much. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of another Soul Reaper standing confidently at the head of the room. An arrogant smirk on his distorted features, his brown hair greying and balding in places, he looked like a wild animal. His outfit was grotesquely damaged, barely even looking like a squad uniform save for the black. _

"_Who are you?" Hitsugaya demanded at once, "Why have you brought us here?" He added as the other Soul Reaper only smiled maliciously._

"_It's been so long since I've been visited by my fellow reapers," He said with a laugh that made Hitsugaya's hair stand on end. "I just want to play," He said, his ancient features shining with mirth._

"_You're behind these hollows and these strange devices aren't you?" Rangiku called angrily, her eyes glancing at the several black boxes lining the room, she didn't miss Rukia's look of longing as she regarded the boxes herself. _Be patient, _she inwardly told the younger reaper._

"_Very good, yes, It was my Zanpaktou's secret ability," He offered, stepping closer to them, all three wondered why he was telling them this; he clearly intended to kill them. "Permanent paralysis of one's reiatsu, unconsciousness, oh I can do many things. I found a way to control these hollows," He added pointing to the yellow masked beasts around him. "And in turn they showed me power I'd have never known if I'd stayed a Soul Reaper." He laughed loudly._

"_Is there a cure?" Rukia snapped, her body straining against the chains that bound her. The Soul Reaper regarded her, his face cold and calculating. _

"_Of course not." He answered smoothly and Rukia's eyes widened and her heart sank._

"_Are you disappointed?" He asked stepping near Rukia's petite form. "Is that why you came the whole way here?" She tried to ignore the fear and guilt gripping her; she'd brought her friends into danger for nothing. "Don't worry dear, we can still have fun." He added, his breath caressing her cheek. "Take the one on the end," He added looking at Rangiku, as both Hitsugaya and Rukia strained harder against their bindings. _

"_Get your hands off of me," Rangiku yelled indignantly as two hollows gripped her hard enough to draw blood._

"_No!" Rukia yelled loudly, forcing herself onto her feet. The Soul Reaper's eyes narrowed at her. "Take me instead," She panted, the exertion killing her. No one moved or spoke for several tense moments._

"_Very well," The leader said, a sadistic smirk on his face, as he nodded to the two hollows who dropped Rangiku and grabbed Rukia instead, she was instantly flooded with fear as she was dragged to a small wooden sty in the middle of the room. Thick chains were on it._

"_Let her go!" Both Hitsugaya and Rangiku called out, but the Soul Reaper was already back on his throne as Rukia was tied to the sty and a hollow with thin whips for hands stepped out of the shadows._

_Rangiku felt her mouth go dry as she realized what was about to happen and wishing that it were still she, even though she didn't want it, she wouldn't wish it on Rukia. _

"_You will find the meaning of true agony here." The Soul Reaper spoke to the room, though his cold dark eyes where fixed only on Rukia's defiant ones. She didn't even flinch when the first whip cracked through the air and pulled a huge chunk of her flesh away with it._

_She bit the inside of her mouth, her eyes fixed solely on the cause of all her heartache, she wouldn't allow herself to succumb to him as the whipping continued and tears fell from her face and she felt like she was drowning in how much blood had formed in her mouth from how hard she was biting, but she would not cry out._

Four times had they been trailed out of this cell and four times Rukia had been strapped to that post and whipped until her back was no-longer covered in white skin and fabric but deep red cuts and huge missing chunks of skin. They didn't even bother to tie her up anymore when they brought her back to the room. They tossed her in and she would crawl over to Rangiku who would immediately try to heal as much as she could before they took her out again.

She had cried out the last two times, Hitsugaya wondered if that had hurt her more than the actual whipping, her hands where red and bloody from digging into the wooden post she was attached to. Her nails practically ripped off from how hard she had gripped the wood.

The door snapped open and four hollows came into the room. "You bastards," Rangiku yelled loudly as they roughly grabbed her, "Can't you just leave us alone? Or better yet just kill us!" She added as they pushed her forward out of the room.

Hitsugaya watched as they grabbed Rukia who let out a sharp cry of pain as they pulled her harshly to her feet, he was about to say something when they grabbed him and he too was yanked forward. He wondered how long they'd been there now, they'd surely missed their window back and would have to try and contact Urahara another way.

They pulled them out of the room and into the shadowed hallway once more.

* * *

The clink of cutlery being placed on a table, and the sound of a heated but playful argument was the soundtrack in one small apartment. Orihime Inoue smiled as she observed her friends enjoying her culinary skills and the company that she had brought together. Tatsuki was helping her wash the dishes of the dinner they'd just eaten as they listened to Ichigo and Keigo argue loudly behind them, something to do with Ichigo's favourite sex position.

"You seem happy Orihime," Tatsuki's voice broke into her thoughts as she wiped the plate she was holding in her hand before handing it to her best friend who immediately began to dry it.

"I am Tatsuki, everyone feels so positive tonight, it's just like how we where when we where in school," She answered brightly as she lifted up a soapy hand to her face.

"Tell me about it, thank goodness Chizuru couldn't make it because that pervert Keigo is more than enough! You'd think after all this time he'd have calmed down by now," She added as an after thought as Orihime pulled the plug on the sink and dried her hands off.

"At least he and Mizuiro where free to come to dinner tonight, though I'm surprised more people didn't try my Thai curry and beetroot paste chow mien." Orihime pouted in confusion as Tatsuki fought her gag reflex, there was a reason no one tried that particular curry and it was something to do with the fact that it was purple.

"What are you two lovely ladies doing in here?" Keigo asked after coming around from Ichigo's latest punch, the young man was in the process of growing out his beard, he thought it made him look more mysterious and sexy, the others thought it made him look like an idiot.

"Just doing the dishes since you didn't offer to do them even though Hime cooked!" Tatsuki growled angrily, years had passed but none of them had really changed, time was strange like that, Orihime thought as they made their way back into her small living room. Ichigo was having an in depth conversation with Mizuiro about his job in the Stock Markets and the many millions he was making a year.

"It really comes down to how you trade with the dollar, against the Euro it's pretty week, but the Yen is where it's at, the Nikkei has been growing steadily in recent months." Mizuiro was saying, his hair long enough to be slicked back into a ponytail. Ichigo was listening with his head propped up against his hand and a vacant look on his face.

"You know I have no idea what you just said right?" Ichigo said after a silence had fallen between them and the black haired young man merely laughed in response.

"So when you planning on heading back to University? That PhD isn't going to wait around forever you know," Tatsuki said sitting down crossed legged on the floor beside Ichigo who was lightly pinching his baby finger that was still numb, he made a note to mention it to his dad or Rukia when she finally got back.

"I don't know," He ran a hand through his hair, "Up until a week ago I had no intentions to go back at all, but I've changed my mind, and I'm thinking of maybe starting back next month, thought it might be good to get out of the house even If I just take it slow to begin with."

"That's great Ichigo," Orihime supplied at once, his other friends nodded in agreement. _Yes, _thought Orihime happily, _it's Ichigo's new found positive attitude that's making this night so special, I just wish Chad, Uryu and Rukia where here as well. _Her face fell at the thought of her friends, they should have been back by now. It had been over a week and they hadn't heard from them. Even Urahara had looked worried the last time she'd been over. She looked at Ichigo who was laughing at Tatsuki punching Keigo, would he still be this upbeat once he found out? She wasn't so certain.

Ichigo was making his way home alone that night, he hadn't felt any strange hollow presence in the last two days and he wondered almost hopefully if the storm had finally passed. _Rukia should be back by now,_ he bit the inside of his lip as that thought crossed his mind. It had been just over a week and he was trying not to get too worried about her, she had obviously been held up, he just thought it strange that she hadn't even contacted him.

He shrugged his jacket off as he made his way inside his home, flipping the lights on as he did. He'd barely made it down the hall when the doorbell rang and he turned his head back to the wood as if he could see past it. With practiced movements he made his way down the short hallway and swung the front door open.

"Hey old man," He said almost happily as he rolled back to allow the man into his house. "I'm glad you came over actually, I was gonna call you and ask if you could take me to Urahara's." Ichigo said not looking back as he made way back down the hall, "Rukia went to Soul Society and she was supposed to be back two days ago and I haven't heard from her, I just want to check she's okay..." He finally turned round and noticed the tension on his fathers face and shoulders.

"What's going on?" He asked fear gripping him, "Is it Yuzu or Karin?" He said quickly, his heart thudding rapidly in his chest.

"No son, your sisters are fine," He answered swiftly back, his hair greying in places as he glanced almost guiltily at his child. "Come on, I can explain on the way." He said taking a step back and Ichigo immediately followed.

"Tell me now!" He half demanded as he followed the older man down the hall, "Where are we going? What's wrong?"

"Ichigo," He said cutting his son off, he immediately gulped at the serious look on his dads normally joyous face. "I will explain in the car, just grab your coat." Ichigo frowned crossly but did as he was told.

"We're going to Urahara's," His dad said as soon as they were both in the car and pulling out of the parking space. Ichigo immediately raised his eyebrows.

"Because I asked you to take me there?" Ichigo asked almost nervously.

"No, because Urahara asked me to bring you."

"Just tell me what's happening." Ichigo asked again feeling more and more irritated.

"Ichigo, It's about Rukia." Isshin responded quickly, Ichigo's heart immediately started to race, panic gripping him, he knew it, he just knew something was wrong.

"We need to get to Soul Society right away and-"

"Rukia's not in Soul Society," He said keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the road and ignoring the sharp intake of air from his son.

"What the fuck are you talking about old man?" Ichigo growled angrily, "She said she was going to Soul Society, where else would she go? Why would she lie?" His words were loud now, louder than he had intended them to be.

"Calm down Ichigo," Isshin answered at once, "Think about it Son, why would she not tell you something?"

Ichigo looked angrily out the window, she'd lied to him, it hadn't been the first time but then again he'd lied to her to. He said he was fine when he wasn't; he'd done it... "to protect me," He said aloud and watched his Dad nod from the side of his head. "She was trying to protect me. Where is she?" He asked looking to his father.

"She's looking for a cure son, her and a few of the others," They'd pulled into a small alley way near Urahara's shop.

"Where Dad?" He asked fearing the worse because he already had a place in mind for the answer and sure enough...

"Hueco Mundo."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for this update, working full time makes writing difficult unfortunately. Thanks for all the reviews, follows and favourites.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo**

* * *

_Chapter Eleven: You're very brave, or very stupid_

It had been two days since his Dad and Urahara had explained everything that was happening, and that the others missed their deadline back. Ichigo hadn't spoken much since then, he'd been mad at first, yelled at the two men and snapped at Yoruichi but then despair and self-loathing set up shop inside him and he let the darkness drain him of his fight.

She'd done this to save him. He kept trying to remind himself that, that he would have done the exact same thing had the roles been reversed. But he couldn't stop thinking about the last things she'd said to him, the last things she'd done. She'd lied to him; she'd kissed him, made love to him and then lied again all in that order. Did she even mean the words of comfort she'd said? She said she was his wife and he her husband, he had the wedding band to prove it, then why was she doing this? Shouldering all of this herself, and making decisions for the both of them by herself? He scoffed angrily, clenched his fists and resumed his bitter thinking.

* * *

Her eyes flickered as they roughly forced her ruined hands into the chains once more. She barely registered the dark red color all over the floor, the fact that the wood had massive splinters missing in it from how hard she had gripped it. Her body ached, but no more so than her heart.

"_Is there a cure?" _She had asked him. _"Of course not."_ He had replied and all of this had been for nothing. It was all she could do to stay conscious, to keep alive. The longer she held out, the longer Rangiku and Hitsugaya were as safe as they could be given the situation.

"You know little Soul Reaper," The enemy's drawl reached her as he stepped out of the shadows. His uniform barely recognizable. "You're very brave, or very stupid." He knelt in front of her, she could see yellow stains in his teeth, the ones that hadn't fallen out and his breath was rancid, she jerked her head away. "Tell me, why did you come all this way?" He asked roughly grabbing her face and turning it back to himself.

"I needed a cure," She wheezed out, the first time she'd spoken in several days.

"Oh, and why's that?" He asked amused, he'd never given his name, but she didn't care.

"To save someone," She answered truthfully as he finally let go of her face, a flash of remembrance and anger played across his face.

"I had someone I needed to save once," He spat bitterly, "I came all the way to this terrible place for a solution, it took me years, when I finally got it, when I finally made my way home, she'd already been healed, and told me I was a monster." He tightened his fists as if debating whether or not he was going to finish telling this story. "Little girl, if you even made it back home, this person would probably have moved on, I'm sparing you from that pain."

"You're wrong," She pulled herself up slightly, straightening her throbbing back. "He'd never do that to me," She smiled in spite of her pain, the look only infuriated the ancient Soul Reaper and with a click of his fingers, a huge crack resounded around the room and Rukia bit her lip once more.

"You'll regret your words," He snapped loosing his composure slightly, but smiling widely at the sight of blood dripping down her pale skin. "But maybe you already do now you know that there is no cure,"

"Bastard," She mumbled against the wood ignoring the burning in her eyes, "Tell me," She said slowly as he leaned forward slightly, "If I kill you, will it cure him?"

The Soul Reaper put his head back and laughed hard, his hand reaching out to grip her face between his withered fingers. "You're amusing, I would have liked to keep you around if I didn't hate the sight of Soul Reapers. You and I both know that Soul Reapers don't have the nerve to kill their kin and you are no exception."

It was Rukia's turn to laugh, despite the grip he had on her face, she still managed to stretch the muscles in her face into a defiant grin. "You are wrong." She said defiantly, a flash of steel and rain and blood so thick she was drowning in it, "I have killed a Soul Reaper before," The man's eyes widened slightly, "and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again if it was to save the life of someone I love." She added as he dropped her face in disgust.

"Love has no meaning in this place. In this place you will learn what despair is, maybe I'll even keep you alive long enough for that person you are so dearly trying to save to know what _I _have done to you." He clicked his fingers again and the hollow cracked his whip harshly across her back. She flinched in her restraints as the brutal assault continued and she could feel herself slipping against her own consciousness.

"Why…?" She gasped, "Why don't you just kill us?"

"Because there is a simple joy in watching you suffer and bleed, and when I've had my fill of you, I'll move on to your little friends. My power lets me control even the strongest," He was looking back to where Hitsugaya was kneeling locked in strong reiatsu suppressing cuffs unable to do anything but wait and watch.

"You _are _a monster," She answered her teeth gritted as the burning of her back threatened to rob her off her sanity, she took pleasure in the way his face twisted and contorted into pure rage and she was whipped once more, it had been worth it.

"You are a foolish little girl, I will destroy you completely before I kill you," He spat in her face before turning on his heel and striding back to his throne to watch her being whipped into submission once more.

_Ichigo,_ she thought as her skin was ripped from her back, _I shouldn't have lied to you, I should have told you where I was going, gave you a chance to stop me, please forgive me. _Another huge crack resounded, this time she jerked violently in the chains, her wrists protesting from the harsh movement. She panted freely against the wood, her head pressed against the column, her fingers cracking post.

* * *

_Rukia,_ he thought starring out at the darkening sky, _I understand why you did this, I don't blame you for keeping it from me, just come home so I can tell you how mad I am at you, please come home._ A crack of lightening split the sky, and Ichigo's mood darkened. What was with this weather? It was supposed to be summer but all it had done was rain, it had been raining for a long time, his fingers clenched around the arms of his chair.

"_I thought the groom wasn't supposed to see the bride before the wedding?" Ichigo asked with an amused smirk as he felt a small presence enter the room he was standing in. "You told me it was bad luck,"_

"_I lied," She replied coming to stand behind him, he turned with his hands in his pockets, noting that she still wasn't wearing her wedding dress. _

"_What are you doing here? My sisters and Orihime are probably going frantic looking for you," He answered putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. _

"_I escaped," She answered with a small smile, her eyes glittering mischievously, "I just needed to see you before this whole thing begins," She said it a little unsurely and he turned her to stand in front of him, both hands on her shoulders... _

Her head fell back, her lip ruined completely from how hard she had bit it begging herself not to cry out, but she couldn't help it. Every lash felt like her whole body was on fire and it was slowly stripping her sanity away. She let out an anguished yell when it dug in once again, roughly pulling the skin, the sickening sound of blood splattering the floor.

"_Having second thoughts?" He said it like a joke, but inwardly he was panicking slightly, what if she didn't want to marry him?_

"_Of course not idiot, so wipe that look off your face," She smirked knowingly at him and he huffed pulling his hands away and shoving them in his pockets. "I just wanted to tell you something," She sounded so small, timid almost that he felt his frown deepening._

"_Okay, what is it?" He asked scratching the back of his head; she caught his hand before he could shove it in his pocket again._

"_My vows," She said not looking at him, though her fingers clenched around his._

"_Right," He said slowly, confusion reigning supreme, "Isn't that what the wedding is for?" He tried to keep the amusement out of his voice; maybe they did weddings differently in Soul Society._

"_Look," She answered more fiercely, "Don't make fun of me," She pouted angrily but not relinquishing her hold, "I know I'm not very open about what I'm feeling, I know I've barely even told you I love you," She sounded apologetic now, he shook his head._

"_I don't need that shit, you know that," He said with a shrug, "I know how you feel, otherwise you wouldn't have agreed to marry me," _

"_I know that, it's just, you always say such beautiful things to me," A small smile played around her lips as she spoke obviously remembering some of his sappier words, if she ever told anyone about his softer side he'd be ruined. "I just wanted you to know how I feel before I go out there and tell all those people, it wouldn't be right if you didn't know first," She glanced up at him and he could tell that it was really bothering her, with a compassionate sigh, he used his unoccupied hand to cup her cheek..._

Tears dripped down her face mingling with the sweat and blood and all she could taste was salty copper in her mouth as she moaned in agony again, her breathing was so broken, her chest heaving from the effort she was putting on it. "Unh," She gasped as another lash shredded her skin and she felt the wood lodge into her fingertips.

"_Then tell me," He said loving how soft her skin was under his touch. She took a deep, steadying breath._

"_You stop the aching," She said quickly, he felt himself frown, "For so long, I carried so much guilt and loneliness with me, you stopped that, took it all away. I can never repay you for that," He made to open his mouth to respond, but she cut across him, "Just, just let me finish, this is hard for me," She begged him, he nodded in understanding._

"_My soul and my heart, they long for you," She raised her other hand to rest on his chest, where his own heart was beating too quickly at her words, "And you have the best of me," She said looking up and allowing her breathing to quicken at the sight of his warm understanding eyes. "That's it," She finished a little lamely, he laughed loudly and she pouted again, before punching him hard in the gut. _

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry," He wheezed, "You know you're awful noisy right?" He asked straightening up once again and pulling her closer to him. "But thank you, for telling me," He kissed her forehead hearing her sigh against his touch, "You've know idea what it means to be told something like that," _

"_Yes I do fool, it's exactly how I feel when you tell me those things," She answered wrapping her arms around him, "I just needed you to know," _

"_I already did Rukia," He replied softly tightening his grip, "I __already did," _

"Ichigo, I need you," She gasped, her head pressed tight against the wood, her hair sticking to her face, the sounds of nothing but each crack of a whip the only thing she was certain of, that and the blood rushing into her ears. _"They can't break us,"_ Her head snapped up and it wasn't from the latest lash, no it was because she heard _him_,_ his_ voice. Her lip trembled as she tried to hold herself together; her heart beat in her chest loudly like a drum. "It hurts," She said quietly, her eyes where barely open, so caked in blood she could barely see anyway, but he didn't answer her, she was alone.

"Aaahh!" She screamed out as another whip dug just below her ribs curving around her petite form and ripping off what little undamaged flesh she had. She was heaving as she tried to stop herself from shaking, the pain only making it worse.

"_Don't let go Rukia," _Her eyes blurred, she hated him for his optimistic attitude, even now when all she wanted to do was just give up.

"Aaaaahhhh!" Her throat was raw from screaming, her body tired from living. Her vision was darkening now, as she tried to blink unconsciousness away, what if she never got back up again, what if she left him, he told her that without her he'd be better off dead, she could not allow for that to happen, "I'm...s-sorry...I'm...s-so...sorry, Ichigo..." she panted before she slumped forward, the darkness consuming her.

* * *

"We've covered every inch of this forest except for this area here," Uryu said, his clothes disheveled and covered in splotches of red blood. Everyone looked the same, two weeks of constant fighting and they were all tired, hurting and wanted to go home. But first they needed to find the others.

Renji, Chad and Uryu had waited and waited for the others to show but they never did. They watched as the gargantua opened and then closed and they realized they'd missed their window back and now needed to find Captain Hitsugaya for he had the only means of contacting Urahara.

They had been looking not only for Rukia, Hitsugaya and Rangiku but also Ikkaku and Yumichika. It was strange, it must have been something to do with the trees and the amount of hollows about, but it was nearly impossible to get a fix on someone's reiatsu. Sure they could sense it, could tell that Ikkaku and Yumichika where safe, and the others where still alive, but it was near damn impossible to get a fix position on the owner of said reiatsu. It was like it was in the air all around them.

So they'd been searching non-stop for the others, every inch of the forest had to be covered, hollow after hollow had to be fought and all the while feeling the ever-dwindling reiatsu of Rukia Kuchiki.

"Then what the hell are we waiting for let's go?" Renji practically yelled before Uryu closed his hand around his arm, he was irritated beyond belief having been trapped in this damn place surviving on nothing but water they'd found in streams and strange fruit that actually grew on one of the trees. Renji was on tether hooks feeling Rukia slowly fade away; he hated this time wasting but was unable to do anything about it.

"Don't be an idiot," The Quincy hissed, "We can't just rush head on, we need a plan," He reasoned as Chad nodded in agreement behind him.

"Fine what's the pla-" Renji began to say before his eyes widened, his heart stopped and his breathing labored. "Rukia," He breathed staring horrified at the others. Their own looks of terror were enough to send his frozen heart racing. Her reiatsu, which was incredibly weak, had now disappeared altogether. With a jolt of horror he realized that it was in this place the last time he'd felt her presence disappear as well.

"We're out of time," Chad reasoned taking a step inwards towards the group with a heavy sigh, "We need to find them for Ichigo's sake," He added as even Uryu nodded in agreement.

"We'll just have to chance it," Uryu groused stiffly as they set off into the shadows, not knowing what to expect but ready for it. _Don't you dare die Rukia_ Renji thought as they ran _Ichigo would kill me._

* * *

Rukia's eyes cracked open, stiff from dried in blood and tears forced out through pain. She was lying face down on the cold dirt, her body ached everywhere and she briefly wondered if it would be better if she just died altogether.

"Rukia!" A feminine voice called her name, she tried to answer but her throat felt like sandpaper and it was another thing on her long list of pain. She tried to recall why it would be so sore and then she remembered; the realization of where she was and why she felt like her entire body was on fire and falling apart hitting her like a tidal wave. She had screamed so much in agony that she was pretty sure she'd tore her voice box.

She turned her body slightly, a hiss of pain as the movement pulled the exposed wounds on her back and she could feel fresh blood blossom from the poorly healed cuts. She bit her lip so she wouldn't cry out, but it was bone dry and tender from where she had bit it the night before that she had to immediately let it go. A gasp of pain now much more audible to the other occupants of her cell.

Rangiku and Hitsugaya watched with wary eyes as Rukia tried to gently move her body. She was literally lying in a pool of blood, the steady drip drip making Rangiku's teeth grate as she listened and watched.

"Just take it easy," she told the petite girl, who was crawling to her knees, her back shining and her skin visible through her destroyed shihakusho. It was now stained blood red, not the white hers had changed to and not the black it should be.

"I'm fine," Rukia huffed out, her throat so dry that it almost choked her to say it. The Captain and subordinate shared a look.

"Rukia..." Rangiku began to say before the petite soul reaper cut her off.

"I'm fine!" She spat, her eyes finally meeting theirs and Rangiku immediately felt the fire go out of her. Rukia was so pale, unnaturally so, her skin was almost translucent she was so pale. Her eyes were dark and not their usual shining violet but a dull blue. Her lip was completely shredded from how hard she had bit into it, the skin was raw and it made her already pale complexion even whiter. Her arms shook as she tried to hold herself up, her ruined fingers trying to find purchase in the dirty ground.

The only miracle, Hitsugaya thought, was that she wasn't tied down or chained up, that meant she could make her way over to Rangiku to be healed up a little. Just as he was about to suggest it, the door to the room opened and all three occupants froze.

Rukia sat back on her heels, her body shaking as pain wracked through her, she clenched her fists as one of the yellow masked hollows came in carrying a tray with three little lumps of stale bread on it. One eye at the food told Rukia it would be a good chance to replenish some lost reiatsu, but one eye on the now open door and the fact that she wasn't chained, she had a better idea.

Searching deep down inside of herself, she sought out her power, searching for even a bit of reiatsu to do what she needed, she glanced briefly at Hitsugaya and hoped that he was as quick as she believed him to be. She knew she wasn't in any condition to take on a hollow with a meager attempt at kido, but a Captain should be able to.

"Hado number four, byakurai!" She called pointing her fingers at Hitsugaya's chains, she ignored the intense flare of pain that shot through her body as the pale lighting flew from her fingertips, the low level incantation almost knocking her unconscious from the pain. The white light hit the reiatsu cuffs and they snapped at once, the hollow roared out, attempting to call for help, but was quickly shut up when Hitsugaya fired a kido of his own, the bright red light momentarily blinding the occupants of the cell. When the dust settled the hollow was gone and Hitsugaya was already busting Rangiku out of her chains.

"We have to hurry, that will definitely not have gone unnoticed," Hitsugaya said hurrying to the door and peering out into the darkened corridor. "Rangiku help Rukia," He ordered as the busty blonde immediately rushed to the injured soul reapers side, as she struggled to remain upright.

"Up you get," Rangiku cooed uncharacteristically serious as she gently placed an arm around Rukia's shredded back, the girl immediately hissed in pain. "Sorry," Rangiku said apologetically but pulling her to her feet anyway there was no time for softness.

"We need to get our weapons," Hitsugaya mused as they made their way down the deserted corridor. His wrists were sore and burnt from the suppresser cuffs, but his hands ready to use Kido at any moment. Rangiku kept a constant vigil over her shoulder to make sure they weren't being followed, Rukia's small arm slung around her as she used her other hand to hold her up, her feet practically trailing along the floor.

"Where do you think are weapons would be?" Rangiku asked as the paused at the mouth of one hallway before entering another. Thankfully every time they'd been trailed out of their cell they hadn't been blindfolded so they had a vague idea where they were going.

"I don't know," Hitsugaya said exasperatedly at the stupid question, "But we'll start in that main room and make our way from there," He added as they hurried down another empty corridor.

"Why are all these corridors empty?" Rukia asked through gritted teeth, her eyes half closed in pain. She gripped onto Rangiku a little tighter to stop herself from being dragged along.

"I don't know but I suggest we-" Hitsugaya stopped talking immediately as the sounds of hollows screeching reached their ears from the door ahead, they were about to retreat the way they came when the door at the end burst open and both Hitsugaya and Rangiku prepared to fight, it was not needed however.

"Captain!" Renji said happily talking long strides towards them, "Thought we'd be in here ages looking for you," He added as they were joined by a battle worn Chad who was carrying three swords.

"Your weapons," He grunted as Hitsugaya quickly slipped Hyorinmaru over his shoulder and Rangiku took both her own sword and Rukia's and stuffed them into her obi.

"What happened to you guys?" Renji asked seriously, as Chad left back through the hallway again presumably to keep watch. Renji took one look at Hitsugaya and Rangiku's tired visages and Rukia's evidently tortured body. His face paled, his stomach churned and his hands clenched and unclenched as if debating with himself whether or not to reach out for her. The look on her face when he didn't made him glad he'd decided not to.

"Rukia are you alrig-" He began to say before the young captain cut across him.

"We'll explain later Renji, It doesn't matter right now," Hitsugaya snapped, "We need to leave this place at once, I've contacted Urahara, hopefully he can create another gate for us." The short captain said leading the way out of the narrow corridor, Rangiku still supporting Rukia followed him as the two males took up the rear.

"Wait," Rukia half yelled almost frantic, "We need to get one of those things, or this will have all been for nothing," The others shared a look but where spared from speaking when Uryu hurried over, a huge bag slung over his shoulder and a smug look on his face.

"Don't worry, I've got it," He said to Rukia with a nod and flash of his glasses, Rukia's sigh of relief was audible.

The main hall was strangely empty, the red glow of the kido torches casting grotesque shadows of their bodies onto the wall behind them. They stepped quietly across the room, Rukia's eyes drawn to the wooden post she'd been strapped to so many times this past week. The floor was streaked crimson and she felt sick to her stomach at the realization that it was _her _blood.

"Ah you've brought some friends." A voice broke their careful procession and they turned almost in comedic slow motion to see the once proud Soul Reaper leering at them. A click of his fingers and they were surrounded by several yellow masked hollows. They were old, that was the reason for the masks, they had existed almost as long as the Soul Reaper had been here for, he'd somehow managed to control them and do his bidding and in turn they'd rotted here with him.

"You bastard, you'll pay for what you've done," Renji yelled immediately sensing the dangerous aura given off by this guy and assuming that he was the one responsible for Ichigo's injuries and the one guilty of torturing Rukia so thoroughly.

"You seem to think you have a chance. You. Are. Outnumbered." The Soul Reaper drawled out slowly, stating each word with careful precision and mirth. He was enjoying having the control.

"It matters little," Histugaya said with a sigh, "We'll still find a way to defeat you." He added whilst narrowing his eyes and drawing his sword in one swoop. Then the dance was on, several large hollows immediately dived at them and they split themselves apart.

Uryu stayed with Rukia and Rangiku, his movements slowed by the heavy device he had and Rangiku hindered by the weakening Soul Reaper in her arms. Uryu pulled his bow and immediately fired a volley at the two hollows heading their way, he killed one but the other avoided the attack. Uryu watched as a huge fist made to swipe at him but suddenly a cloud of ash appeared in front of him and the hollow roared in pain as the cloud cut into the flesh of his arm. Uryu turned his head slightly to see Rangiku holding the hilt of her sword and directing her ash like a conductor of an orchestra, Rukia tucked safely under her other arm. Uryu nodded his head in thanks before diving once more into the battle.

"We need to get out of here," Renji growled to Hitsugaya who was pushing back the abnormally strong hollows with his shikai.

"Yes, I've contacted Urahara, I don't even know if that device is still working but I've tried it anyway." The young captain replied blandly curving his sword round, the ice dragon ripping straight through the stomach of an encroaching hollow and thankfully killing it. As soon as the hollow faded he realized that he had a clear shot at the Soul Reaper who was responsible for all this. Because of the reiatsu cuffs he was in no position to activate his Bankai and from the looks of Renji neither was he, but he could still kill the bastard without it.

He flash stepped into the clearing the Soul Reaper was standing in, a snarl leaving his mouth as he pulled his sword into the air. _There is nothing more despicable_ he thought as his sword came crashing down onto the enemy's battered sword, _than a Soul Reaper who derives pleasure from torturing one of his own._

"I see Captains aren't what they used to be," He mocked as he pushed Hitsugaya back with a flick of his wrist. The young captains feet found purchase in the rough ground and he immediately moved again. His sword was a blur as he swung and dived around the enemy before slashing at his back. He was sure that he had made contact but the Soul Reaper spun out of the attack and smiled widely. "Pathetic," He chided as Hitsugaya bared his teeth.

"You are a disgrace to Soul Reapers everywhere, You hurt others for pleasure, I made a vow once to violently destroy people like you," Hitsugaya shot back as he surged forward again, his shikai fully activated as he sent ice flying straight at the Soul Reaper who cut through it like butter. Hitsugaya was unfazed however as he followed through, his body slipping past the ruined ice and managing to graze the Soul Reaper enough to draw a single line of blood on his cheek.

He narrowed his eyes and brought a withered hand to his face, his face set in dangerous hard lines as he realized that the blood on his fingertips was his own. "Years, it's been years since I've seen my own blood. Very good captain, you have fought valiantly, but I'm afraid our battle ends here." He sheaved his sword and clicked his fingers several hollows descending on the furious white haired captain.

"Wait you bastard!" He called out, "Fight like a true Soul Reaper." He called through the roars of the hollows. The enemy turned and gave a small, evil smile.

"I am_ not _a true Soul Reaper, and you _wont _be killing me today." With that he disappeared from view and Hitsugaya let out a frantic yell as he watched him go, the enemy just slipping through his fingers and possibly the only way to cure Ichigo gone.

The hollows where coming thick and fast now as Hitsugaya flash stepped back to the others.

"That guy?" Renji asked pulling back his sword from the mask of a hollow.

"Gone," Hitsugaya grunted as he sent out a dragon of ice towards a group of hollows.

"Shit," Renji responded, "Time to get out of here?"

"Definitely." The young captain agreed as he quickly fought back the encroaching hollows, his sword a blur of silver as he pushed them back. He and Renji regrouped with the others who had been steadily fighting.

"How the hell are we going to get out of here?" Renji huffed whilst looking at the worn and tired faces of the group, his eyes captivated by Rukia's weak visage.

Chad immediately took a step away from them, fired up his arm and shouted "El Directo!" And sent a huge blast straight towards the brick wall destroying it in one and exposing the outside forest. The whole group shared a stunned look.

"That should do it," Rangiku mused with pursed lips as they quickly hurried out the whole, Hitsugaya attempting to force the hollows back with his shikai and Uryu with a volley of arrows. Before they to turned and sprinted into the darkness of the forest, one eye on the road ahead, one eye on the hollows behind. They needed to get the upper hand and being trapped in that place wasn't helping, so they ran to regroup and prepare to fight to the death.

* * *

"I'm telling you, it's this way," Yumichika said exasperatedly as they walked past the same tree stump they had three times now. They bore the signs of battle; mercifully they had run across a large group of Menos Grande that had been almost a challenge before attempting to find the others again.

"This is pointless!" Ikkaku yelled slashing at a nearby tree, "I can't sense anything with all these damn trees around, and I feel like the Captain and the lieutenant." He mumbled at the end attesting to the fact that his superiors always got lost especially when needed the most. "How long has it been?"

"Too long," Yumichika answered with a heavy sigh, he'd been in a bad mood ever since the last battle and he'd broken one of his manicured nails and Ikkaku hadn't been the least bit sympathetic when it had happened. In fact he had laughed manically while slicing into a hollow. It had been a rather frosty and tense few days between the pair as a result.

They carried on with their futile walk broken only by Yumichika's occasional complaint about his ruined nail. After several minutes the silent sways of the forest was broken by a strange crashing sound. Both Soul Reapers paused with frowns on their faces. "What now?" Ikkaku said taking a few tentative steps towards the sounds, his sword at the ready.

What happened next was not something either Soul Reaper could predict when from the trees in front of them burst forth a rather eclectic group of Soul Reapers who had been previously running for their lives. The resulting situation was a mass and tangle of black clothed limbs and swords and several obscene swears from more than one mouth.

"What the hell?" Rangiku asked joining the group, which consisted of Renji half straddling Ikkaku and Hitsugaya trapped completely under Yumichika's buttcheeks. "Oh ho! I think I need a camera!" The blonde called merrily as the group attempted to detangle themselves.

"Get off me you oaf!" Hitsugaya cursed as Chad and Uryu joined them both with an amused grin on their faces. Somehow the whole situation felt surreal, one minute they'd been fighting next they'd ran into the two very people they'd been about to search for.

"Where the hell have you guys been?" Hitsugaya asked once he'd dusted himself off and attempted to curb his building rage.

"Looking for you guys where else? Kind of lucky we ran into you actually," Ikkaku yelled back, "Looks like you've had a pretty rough time," The bald added noting the chain marks on both Hitsugaya and Rangiku's wrists and the fact that Rukia was being held of the ground by Rangiku, her blood dripping steadily onto the forest floor.

"We'll explain later," Hitsugaya said hurriedly as a roar from behind interrupted them, "We need to move and hope that Urahara can get us another portal and quick, my reiatsu is severally depleted."

"Yumichika and I are still good for a fight, we'll hold the rear while you guys go on and try and find us a better place to fight," Ikkaku reasoned as Yumichika pulled his sword from it's sheath. A quick nod was passed between the group and they were running again, a grin passing over Ikkaku's maniacal features.

* * *

After what seemed likes hours they somehow managed to make it back to the surface of Hueco Mundo glad to be free of the suffocating trees. They'd fought and had been pushed back into a large half clearing filled with huge boulders they could duck behind whilst regrouping. "Shit, these guys are persistent," Renji yelled shielding his face as stones and sand flew past, he was bleeding heavily from a head wound.

"Quit your whining," Ikkaku called happily his sword fully released as he slashed and danced his way contentedly between yellow masked hollows, "You should be happy they still want to fight," He immediately threw himself headfirst into the thick of the battle.

"Yes, only this sort of life or death battle is beautiful enough to warrant such an ugly display of skills," Yumichika added as he joined Ikkaku in the battle. Rangiku rolled her eyes, her grip tightening on Rukia.

"Let go of me Lieutenant," Rukia grounded out trying to pull away, "Don't leave yourself open for my sake," She added as she pushed against the older woman.

"What's this lieutenant crap?" Rangiku asked with an amused laugh, "You and I are both lieutenants, and I wouldn't be doing a very good job if I just left my fellow Soul Reaper defenseless would I now?" She smiled at the pale faced petite woman who stopped straining, "Don't give up on us yet," She added before pulling her sword out with one hand and flash stepping them to the side as a huge hollow landed inches from where they'd been standing.

The flash step jolted Rukia painfully and she couldn't stop herself from crying out, her pain was only increased however when something huge swiped them from the side and both her and Rangiku where sent flying both landing in a heap on the shifting sand. Rukia's eyes widened in agony as sand embedded itself into the open wounds on her back and pain coursed through every inch of her body.

"It's happening!" Hitsugaya yelled jumping from hollow to hollow slashing and stabbing. He could feel the device Urahara gave him vibrating and pulsing in his pocket and he knew that a portal was going to open at any moment. They formed a half circle as more hollows, not just yellow masked ones anymore, came at them.

Suddenly the wind whipped up strong around them as reiatsu massed behind them and the ground and air shifted as the gate began to open. Renji immediately flash stepped to Rukia's side and pulled her into his arms. The cry of pain she let out made his skin crawl in guilt but he ignored it as he cradled her small, frail body against his. She gripped his haori.

"Growl Haineko!" Rangiku yelled as she pushed a massive wall of ash out keeping the hollows from getting closer as the gargantua slowly opened, Uryu was firing as many arrows as he could now that Chad had taken the heavy bag from him. The screams of dying hollows reached their ears as they waited.

"Renji," Rukia gasped, he glanced down at her incredibly pale face, her eyes barely open, her lips white and cracked as she panted against him, her breathing coming in short labored breaths. His grip tightened subconsciously.

"What is it Rukia? I'm here" Looking at her now, dressed in white and so frail he was brought back to when she'd almost been executed, if it hadn't have been for Ichigo's determination to save her, she would have been, the thought brought a painful lump into his throat.

"Tell him..." She panted heavily, "Tell him...I'm s-sorry," Her forehead was pressed against his chest, her knuckles white from how hard she was clenching onto the folds of his haori. "Please...m-make him...understand," He could see tears on her face, the sight almost broke him as the gate opened completely behind them and her reiatsu pulsed lowly and weakly in his arms.

"Rukia, tell him yourself," He said angrily making her glance up through half closed eyes, "Tell him yourself," He repeated as she gave him the ghost of a smile and rested against him again.

"Okay..." She breathed and he stepped back into the encroaching darkness begging her to hang on, begging her not to die in his arms or the memory would haunt him forever.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo  
**

* * *

_Chapter Twelve: It's probably already started_

Ichigo sat staring out into the yard in front of Urahara's shop, it was raining non-stop, _a wash out of a summer_ he thought angrily as he sighed fitfully yet again and glanced once more at his watch. It was just a little before dinner - not that he'd be eating - and it had been more than two weeks since she'd left and it was making him loose his fucking mind knowing there was nothing he could do to help her, to help any of his friends. He ran a hand through his hair, ignoring the fact that the whole of his baby finger was numb, he was sure that he had to be something to do with this thing that had happened to him. But the panic about it was nothing compared to the panic he felt over Rukia and the others, so he was taking each fucked up situation one at a time.

"Ichigo?" a voice asked timidly behind him, he turned his head back a fraction to see Orihime standing with her arms folded under her breasts and staring warily at him, he sighed again.

"What's up?" He asked not even bothering to sound like he was happy to see her; he just couldn't find it in himself to stop acting like a dick. Orihime was like his fucking sister and he couldn't even muster a half assed attempt at a smile, the thought filled him with a bitter coldness.

"Are you okay?" She asked in the same unsure voice, he heard her take a hesitant step towards him.

"I'm fine," He snapped out, not meaning it to be so harsh, but unsure why she would ask such a stupid question knowing fine well what the real answer was.

"No you're not," She added with a sad laugh, she was a lot closer to him now, "You're never okay when she's not here," _That_ piqued his interest, her turned his tired eyes up to Orihime's round ones.

"What do you mean?" He questioned roughly, still desperately trying to pull his temper in.

"Every time she goes away, you change, it's like she takes a part of you with her." She laughed softly, the sound soothing in Ichigo's turbulent mind. "You were unhappy for so long until you met her," She also said and with a frown he stared back out towards the rain. Neither spoke for a moment, he just mulled over what Orihime said, it was true of course, it wasn't until he'd met the fiery Soul Reaper did his life get any sort of purpose, he owed her more than he could ever repay.

"Do you trust her?" Orihime asked breaking his thoughts and he glanced back at her.

"With my life," He replied swiftly but with a hint of a smile now playing around his downturned lips.

"Then trust that she'll come back, and forgive her when she does," He let the russet haired girls words take a hold of his twisted heart and allowed a full smile to break onto his face.

"Thanks Orihime, you're the be-" He never got to finish his sentence because suddenly the air had changed and his dad rushed past him. "What's going on?" He asked spinning himself around deftly with one hand.

"Stay here Ichigo," His dad said gruffly looking over at his son's anxious face; it had been a long time since he'd seen him look so helpless. "Orihime we need you, they're back," He directed towards the young woman who nodded quickly, determination shinning on her kind features.

Ichigo's eyes practically bulged out of his head at those words, "What!? Where are they?" He yelled demanding his father's attention, the older Kurosaki was spared answering when the missing group appeared from the stairs down to Urahara's basement. The hat wearing man himself was directing them into one of the adjacent rooms.

"Easy now, watch her back," He said in his smooth tones as both Isshin, Orihime and Ichigo surged forward.

"Rukia!" Ichigo yelled loud enough to wake the dead, he tried to get to her, to touch her, but there were too many bodies in his way. "What happened!?" He demanded hotly to anyone who would listen unfortunately no one was. Renji shifted into his vision and the substitute soul reapers heart literally stopped in his chest. Rukia, _his _Rukia was being cradled in Renji's able arms. But that's not what stopped him in his tracks and threatened to make him throw up, and it wasn't that her shihakusho was white when it should be black, it was the fact that every inch of her skin he could see - _why the hell could he see so much of her skin? - _Was covered in blood, in some places it was still bright red, still bleeding, soaking through Renji's selves and coating the floor. It was the fact that there were cuts all over her arms, chunks of skin missing from her back, the deep purple bruises around her wrists. She'd been tortured, hurt, wounded, nearly killed, all because of-

He clenched his jaw so tightly he thought it might crack, he shuddered when he saw the cloth from her ruined shitagi sticking into the damaged skin on her back, he really did think that he might throw up. He tried to move closer as she was passed, ever so gently, from Renji's arms to his fathers. Ichigo watched how his dad cradled her the way he would Yuzu or Karin when they were sick, the sight brought tears to his eyes and he furiously blinked them away.

He made to follow after them, but his father's eyes turned to his and he could see fear in those dark brown orbs. "Ichigo, just stay back son," He begged him, Ichigo felt his anger rise, who was he to keep him from _his_ wife? "Ichigo," His fathers firm voice broke him from his sudden rage, "You'll just get in the way," Ichigo's eyes widened, his jaw slackened and he felt his heart beat slowly in his chest. He knew his dad didn't mean it the way it came up, but it was true. He was stuck, in this, this, _fucking_ chair, he couldn't get close, not without keeping someone else back. So he had to watch from the doorway, watch as they gently lowered her to the ground, watch as the turned her so slowly onto her front. Watch in all of its horrendous horror the extent of the damage done to her once flawless skin. She was like porcelain and they'd cracked her.

He listened as well, listened as Isshin instructed Renji and Hitsugaya to hold her arms and legs as he and Orihime as gently as they could pulled the ruined cloth away from her skin. He listened to her scream in agony as the fabric tore away the skin it had hastily healed around. He listened as Orihime called forth her power to set to work healing her; he listened when his dad told the others to leave so he could look them over. He listened when Urahara told him it wasn't his fault. He just sat and watched and listened, it was the only thing he could actually do.

* * *

"Are you sure?" Isshin's voice was oddly choked; this day had been something of a horror for him. Firstly his third daughter had come back tortured and within an inch of her life and now he was being told this? _Masaki, _he thought despairingly, _how can I keep them safe when life is so determined to hurt them?_

Urahara sat across the table from him, his face hidden behind those shadows he clings to, his arms folded across his front. Yoruichi sat to his left, her face drawn into a tight frown that mirrored the two others.

"The tests are conclusive Isshin," Urahara said glance up from his spot staring at the table, "It's worse than we feared, it's probably already started." He added as Isshin stood abruptly, the small cup of tea he had spilling its contents as he did. Neither of the others moved, not even bothering to clean up the spill.

"Isshin," Yoruichi spoke in a low purr, "We'll do everything we can to help but..." She drowned off, her yellow eyes fixed on the former soul reapers back.

"But there's nothing to be done," Isshin answered for her, glancing back just in time to see his old friends nodding along in agreement at their words.

"When do we tell him?" Yoruichi asked already knowing the answer.

"Now, there's no point dragging this out." Isshin answered with a sigh, he began to pat his top with his palms searching for something in his pocket, "Dammit, where are my cigarettes," He said under his breath but neither Urahara or Yoruichi missed it, they both shared a sad smile before climbing to their feet and following Isshin from the room.

* * *

"Two days," Ichigo said sadly, "That's how long you've been back for," His hand tightened around something, "It's also two days to our anniversary, it's been one hell of a year," He added as he sighed and brought the thing he was holding to his mouth - Rukia's small hand - and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

She looked so frail, weak, so un-Rukia like that it had taken him a full day to come to terms with it, to accept that it really was _his _Rukia just lying there paler than the sheets she was on.

"_Why isn't she awake?" He asked looking from his dad to an exhausted Orihime, he knew he should be more sympathetic and more grateful, but the fact of it was, Rukia still had scars over her back, her wrists still had marks on them from the binds she'd been placed in._

"_Rukia's been through a lot son," His Dad said in a tired voice, "Her mind needs time to recuperate," Ichigo wanted to punch him, he wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know. _

"_Why is she still hurt? Why are there still scars?" Ichigo asked a lot more calmly this time, directing his question at Orihime, she gave him a half smile at his effort._

"_She's really weak Ichigo, her reiatsu is really low. I can't do much to heal her until her level of spiritual pressure goes back up." She said wringing her hands together in discomfort, her failure at completely rejecting what had happened resting uneasily on her shoulders. _

"_What does she need?" He asked looking between both, "What's the best thing for her now?" He added already knowing the answer._

"_She needs to return to Soul Society, she needs to recover her lost reiatsu, then when she comes back, Orihime can heal her properly and get rid of those scars." Isshin said with a heavy sigh giving the auburn headed girl a warm smile of gratitude which she readily returned. _

"_For how long?" Ichigo tried to stop his voice from choking as he said it, but it didn't help. _

"_Weeks, months, we can't know for certain until she goes." Isshin answered running a hand across his face, "She just needs rest for now," He pointed out as he made for the door._

"_I'll come see her every day until she goes, I can try and speed along the process of her power coming back, but the best place for her is Soul Society," Orihime said falling into step behind Isshin and exiting the room as Ichigo stayed in front of Rukia's still form. _

_She was lying on a bed in one of Urahara's many rooms, her face was still covered in a few cuts and bruises though thanks to Orihime they looked days old. He reached a hand out, his long fingers easily wrapping around her narrow wrist, his tan skin blotting out the purple on hers like a bracelet. He preferred the look of his skin to her bruises. "You idiot," He whispered feeling the tears he'd been fighting for so long finally forcing their way out and he didn't try to stop them. He was safe here, he was alone here with her, without her._

He sighed heavily as he opened his eyes, his sight coming to a rest a top of Rukia's still peaceful form; he prayed it stayed that way. Several times over the last two days she'd been, he could only assume, dreaming, or maybe reliving what happened to her even though she had yet to wake up. But she yelled out, her face contorted in pain, her body thrashed from imaginary lashes. He just held her, held her still as she writhed in the memory of the pain and he soothed her; begged her to be still, told her she was safe, that he was here and eventually she would settle down and all would be good again.

"Ichigo," His fathers voice drew his attention away from Rukia's, "Can we talk?" Ichigo thought about rejecting his request, he hadn't left Rukia's side much in the last couple of days, he was scared she'd wake up without him, but in the end he gave in and followed his father out of the room and down a corridor into another room this time Urahara and Yoruichi where in it too.

"What's going on?" Ichigo asked looking from one serious face to another, no one spoke for a moment.

"I did some research into the device that the team brought back," Urahara said his eyes half hidden as he spoke to Ichigo. "I managed to obtain quite a bit of useful data before it corroded away."

"And?" Ichigo tried to keep his hope from rising, as mad as he was at the others for going and almost getting themselves killed, they had gone for him, for a cure, there had to be a cure. "Tell me," He demanded hotly, his hope and more acutely his fear ever growing with each passing second.

"There is no cure," Urahara said quickly, his words hanging in the air like dust and Ichigo felt like the floor had been completely pulled away from him and he was falling.

"There's no cure," Ichigo repeated softly, as if testing the words for himself. He clenched his jaw to stop the burning realization that he was stuck this way forever.

"I'm sorry Ichigo," Urahara added, his head dropping in defeat, "I am truly sorry," Ichigo said nothing just looking at his Dad's broken face, Yoruichi's strained expression.

"Okay, well that's it I guess," Ichigo finally said when the air in the room felt so oppressive he could barely breathe and he felt the need to get very far away.

"Not so fast Ichigo," Yoruichi said crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, "There's more,"_ How on earth could there possibly be more?_ Ichigo thought turning back to them.

"Kisuke tell him," Isshin said looking at the floor with an expression seldom seen on his usually childlike features.

"Very well," Urahara crossed his arms across his chest, his hands disappearing into his haori as he sat on the floor, "It's spreading."

Ichigo felt his throat dry up, his heart skip a beat, his breathing tighten. "What?" He gasped thickly.

"The paralysis, it's spreading. You might have already noticed," All three older soul reapers watched as Ichigo stared at his right hand his fingers flexing but not the baby one, he clenched his fist in frustration. "It will spread to your arms, your head; eventually you won't even be able to speak, eat or even open your eyes. It will then spread inward, shutting down your organs and eventually kill you. Your soul won't even enter soul society, it attaches itself to it and paralysis it too, causing it to disappear from the cycle altogether."

Ichigo put a hand across his eyes, this wasn't happening, how could this be happening? He could barely cope with his legs being paralyzed now he was going to die a horrible and debilitating death. He dug his fingers harshly into his skin, the injustice and the irony too much for him.

"Everything's going to be okay," Isshin tried to say but Ichigo scoffed loudly, his eyes full of bitter tears.

"Don't say that, don't ever say that. Things are so far from okay it's not even funny. So I'm gonna die? Who doesn't. I always thought it would be far more glorious than this." He ran a hand through his hair taking a deep breath at the same time. His mind wandered back to Rukia, how the hell was he going to tell her? How was he going to come to terms with her slowly watching him fade away into nothing? It would kill her. His eyes flicked up with new resolve, a new fire.

"You can't tell her," He said to the three older reapers, they didn't even need to ask who he was talking about.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Isshin asked at once, knowing exactly what was going through his idiot son's mind.

"Yes, it's the only way," Ichigo said more to himself than anything.

"It's not fair to keep this from her," Yoruichi argued, her stomach twisting painfully at what Ichigo was planning on doing.

"It's not fair to have her go down with me, I won't do it to her. She's a soldier, but this is something that she can't fight. I'll let her go." He said it confidently, his eyes burning into the grey, yellow and brown ones in front of him. "I'll save her one last time." He told them and each nodded in acceptance despite the ill feeling, despite knowing that it was wrong.

* * *

It was dark, that much she was certain of, but she could see light behind her eyelids, orange light as if the sun was shinning directly on her. She tried to move, open her eyes, swallow properly but everything was so painful or so impossible that she had no choice but to give up and just wait in the dark, the dark she was so certain of.

She could hear something, a voice, it was nice, warm. It was speaking to her, telling her something, she wished she could hear that voice properly but unfortunately the power of hearing seemed to have left her along with the use of all of her other sense. She was too irritated with her situation to try and find a way out. So she let the darkness back in, it blocked out the noise and it snuffed out the light. She was almost ready to completely give in when some sense of self came back, she knew that voice and that light;_ Ichigo._

She used everything, all of her strength, power, determination and will to force her eyes to flicker, to lift themselves so slowly that she felt like she was going mad. She wanted to scream, but her throat was so dry she could barely swallow, so she settled for just opening her eyes. She wanted to see the sun.

* * *

Ichigo sat staring at his hand, his other fingers trying to feel any sensation in his baby finger. There was just nothing, his worst fears had been completely confirmed and now he had to do it alone. He turned his attention back to Rukia.

"One day," He whispered softly, his hands clenching into fists, "One day to our first anniversary," He closed his tired eyes, the sleep he'd been delaying coming on thick and fast. "I didn't know what to get you," He said with his eyes still shut, "I was thinking a damn rabbit, I know you'd love it and at least it would keep me company whenever you weren't around. I'm just not sure I'd like the competition." He allowed a bitter laugh to escape his lips, "It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

He felt himself drifting off, he'd been afraid to sleep in case he missed her, and then terrified to sleep incase he woke up and something else of his had become completely paralyzed. The only noise in the room was the gentle sound of her and his even breathing and he was almost completely out when: "Do you hate me?" A voice rasped beside him and his eyes snapped open immediately. He turned in almost slow motion to see Rukia staring at him with red-rimmed eyes, those violets shinning in fear as she looked at him.

"Fuck Rukia, no, I don't hate you." He said gruffly as she sighed audibly and relaxed against her pillow.

"Good, I'd hate that." She whispered and he ran a hand over his chin as he made his way over to the small table to pour her a glass of water. He could feel her eyes on him as he worked.

"Here," He said passing the glass to her, his fingers brushing her cold ones as he did. She took the water with a shaking hand and drank deeply, coughing slightly when she pulled it away, she gave him a grateful smile.

"How long was I out?" She asked, her voice still painfully dry.

"Three days," He answered without looking at her.

"How long has it been?" She asked almost fearfully and he finally looked up at her, she gasped at the expression on his face.

"Since you fucked me, lied to me and left?" He asked casually and she flinched at the crudeness of his words and the way he delivered it.

"Yes, since then," She accepted as he scoffed bitterly and she pulled her knees up to her chin, trying to make herself as small as possible, to protect herself from his anger.

"Three weeks," His voice was cold, as cold as her hands and she shivered at it.

"What date?" She asked lowly and he knew what she was thinking.

"You didn't miss it," He glanced at the wall instead of her face as he replied, "It's tomorrow, you didn't miss it." She sighed as he spoke, she wanted to touch him, feel his skin against hers, but she was scared of the look in his eyes, how despondent his meager reiatsu felt.

"I'm sor-" She tried to say but he slammed his fist against the armrest of his chair.

"Don't. Don't you dare." He snarled at her, she knew she should fight back but hell she deserved his anger. "What the hell where you thinking?" He demanded taking a deep, controlling breath.

"I was thinking that I could help you!" She answered quickly, trying to find her own anger to match his, "I was thinking that you were so unhappy, so much so that you just wanted to give up! I was thinking that I'd save you!" Her words struck a chord in him.

"Yeah well guess what babe? You didn't, there's no cure." He spat angrily watching as her eyes widened in shock and horror.

"What?" She breathed, a hand coming to rest against her lips.

"There's no cure, Urahara did a load of experiments on that thing you guys got and it turns out that there's no way of undoing the effects. It's permanent." He said just as harshly and he had to clench his fists to stop himself from reaching out to her, to stop her from shaking.

She knew that Soul Reaper hadn't been lying; yet still she foolishly hoped and now she'd ruined everything and it had all been for nothing. She covered her face in her hands, taking deep harsh breaths to stop herself from breaking down.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me? Did you really think me so weak that I couldn't handle what was going on?" Ichigo half yelled at her, he needed to hear her excuses, her reasoning or it would drive him mad.

"I knew you'd try to stop me," She gasped, a single tear slipping down her face, "I just wanted to keep you safe..." Everything was just falling apart.

"I was talking about how much reiatsu you'd used up." He spat back and she finally worked up the courage to look at him, he looked so forbidding sitting there with those dark eyes.

"So was I," She answered softly and he felt his resolve crack a little at the look on her face.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as he tried to get his breathing under control and she tried to get some sense of awareness, prepare herself for the next onslaught. She looked down at her wrists, the purple still clear on them and every time she moved she could feel the tender wounds stretch on her back.

"You lost too much reiatsu for Orihime to heal you properly," Ichigo said watching her as she took in her wounded appearance. "You need to go back to Soul Society to recover what you've lost."

"Okay," She breathed out, she glanced at him, the fight had left him for a moment, a ghost of a memory on his face instead.

"When they brought you back," He sucked in a huge breath, "I watched you scream in agony because of what had happened to you, scream in agony as they peeled your ruined clothing away from you and I had to just _sit_ in the doorway and just fucking watch."

"I know Ichigo, please..." She was begging now and she wasn't even sure what for, she seemed to have left all her fight in the forest of the Menos. She just wanted him to stop torturing himself.

"When Rukia?" He demanded, she looked at him in confusion, "When did you find me so weak that you made the decisions for both of us?" She just shook her head at his words.

"You're not, I...just..." She couldn't breathe, couldn't see as tears filled her eyes.

"They tortured you!" He snarled at she accepted the harsh tone, watched as he shoved his fingers into his hair. "You call out in your sleep, begging them to stop! I caused that!"

"No- you...didn't...stop..." She was trying so hard to keep everything together, to make him realize that he wasn't to blame.

"I understand Rukia," He was softer now, she looked up at him, "I understand why you did it, you and I both know I would have done the exact same thing. Though I definitely would have got myself killed." Both laughed, one bitter, one slightly watery. "But what you did was wrong, you put not only yourself at risk, but our friends as well." That _hurt_, Rukia felt her eyes dry instantly, the anger returning.

"They choose to come with me Ichigo," She answered with ice lacing her words, "They, like me, made the decision to do something, to help you get better."

"Well I never asked for it." He replied harshly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah well tough, because we gave it! It was our choice to do it, not yours. And I know for a fact that each one of us would do it again, just like you'd do for us." She snapped angrily and he stared at her unable to refute her statement, as he wasn't one for double standards.

"You should have fucking told me," He spat back instead and she laughed bitterly.

"Yeah right, you would have done everything in your power to stop us. It's almost as if you don't want to get better," She added in a sneer and he finally saw complete red.

"You think I don't want to get better? Fuck Rukia I _hate_ living like this it's tearing me apart. I'd rather live with nothing than with this anymore." He roared, his face red in anger and hurt as her eyes widened in shock. She'd been a fool to think that she would be enough for him.

"I tried Ichigo.." She answered quietly, in complete contrast to him and he scoffed thickly at her.

"Tried to what Rukia? Fix me? The only thing you managed to do was nearly get yourself killed. Another fucking thing _I _have to live with. Your blood on my hands yet again. You should have just stayed out of it!" He snapped harshly, his eyes almost hazel instead of warm amber. She flinched as if he'd hit her, she tried to tell herself that it was grief and fear making him say these things, that he didn't mean the words he said. But as she took in his shaking form, his hands in tight fists, she knew that it wasn't fear or grief, just hatred.

"I think you should go back to Soul Society," He said after a moment, his voice sounded unsure but his face was resolute.

"Until I get better right?" She asked fearfully, now that he wasn't looking at her anymore. _Please don't do this._ She begged inwardly.

"...No Rukia, longer than that-" He told her, his hands still making fists and she was sure he was breaking the skin.

"Are you leaving me?" She could feel her chin begin to tremble and she did not want to do that in front of him, not now, not when he was so sure of himself and she so weak.

"I..I..." He let out a sigh, his face screwing up in agony and she could feel her breaths come out quicker than she would have liked. "You keep saying that you're my wife Rukia, but you don't act like it. You lie to me, you make decisions for the both of us without giving me a say. You don't let me be your husband. Fuck Rukia do you even want me to be?" His voice was rising again and she knew she let out a pained gasp, or maybe it was a sob.

"Yes Ichigo I do!" She answered quickly, "You know that I do" She tried to speak but he let out a yell and cut across her.

"Don't fucking lie! You fucked me and then just left! You should have fucking told me!" He growled and she shrunk a little further into the bed. "Rukia, you have no idea, _no idea,_ what it was like waiting here, not knowing where you were or if you were even still alive. Then you came back, completely covered in blood and I couldn't even reach out for you because I was just getting in everybody's way." He looked up at her, his own eyes burning in shame, "I have never felt so weak in my life." He didn't say it, but the statement was clear _you caused that. You made me feel so weak I could barely stand it._

She bit her lip, watched as tears fell on top of her clenched hands. "I just wanted to make you better," She said so quietly she was sure he missed it.

"I know," He answered her thickly, "But we were fools, for thinking this could work." His eyes where closed as he spoke and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

"What are you-" She tried to gasp out.

"This, us," He pointed between the two of them, his eyes open again and she could see all of his insecurities, all of his fears and she knew that she had broken them beyond repair. "If it wasn't for the incident I probably wouldn't see you at all. It was childish notion to think that we could make this work,"

"Ichigo…" She sucked in a breath as she tried to control the tears that were pouring traitorously from her eyes.

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes so dark and distant she almost didn't recognize him, "Try to get some sleep," He said before he turned quickly, determined not to break his word and let her know the real reason he was being such a dick, he didn't want to hurt her, didn't really mean the words he was saying, he just needed to make her go, get away from him. He wouldn't let her get dragged down. Somewhere the clock chimed, he glanced down at his watch and saw that it had just turned midnight. _Happy Anniversary,_ he thought bitterly as he heard her finally break down and let go, his heart breaking in agony when, instead of comforting her, he simply left the room. The sound of her broken sobs playing like a desperate loop over and over in his ears.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Sorry for the wait, work sucks! I've also gone and changed the genre, I should have just done angst from the start, who was I kidding!? **

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo**

* * *

_Chapter 13: Six long uneventful Months_

_They who share destiny part, the clock ticks silent and stills waiting for the two to reunite once more._

* * *

_The first month: We're just another number_

It had been a month; one long never-ending month. He'd been there when the others had left, the day of his anniversary actually, it was just before six at night and the others, minus Rukia, where all healed up and ready to go. He'd sat and watched as they each said goodbye, Rukia didn't, she merely looked everywhere _but _him but then again, he was doing the same thing.

_Renji picked her up, his arms secured around her small frame, cradled so carefully against the folds of his shihakusho. She was like a doll, an antique doll that collectors would fight over, pay the most for, so rare that she was. And Ichigo had just given her up for free. _She'd be safer_, he thought scathingly, _she'd be safer with someone like Renji_; someone who could be everything he couldn't, someone who could love her properly, take care of her fully. Not someone she could just wilt and die with. _

_They left soon after that, one pitying look after the next, he hadn't told anyone bar his Dad, Urahara and Yoruichi his plan to keep Rukia and the others in the dark, so to everyone else, it just looked like him and Rukia where mad at the other. He wasn't mad, just heartbroken._

_He made his own way home, stopping by the river his mother had died at, lingering too long in the park where he and Rukia had first kissed. It did nothing to ease his tortured mind and in some ways he was glad, at least he wasn't numb to the pain. When he finally made it over the threshold of their - or maybe it was just his now - apartment. He opened a letter that had been addressed in a green envelope to the two of them._

_It was so insignificant, just a cheaply bought card, probably at a garage or small corner shop, but it was the catalyst, the catastrophic trigger. He broke down completely, all of the agony, terror, fear, so many emotions he didn't even have names for but was feeling all at once came tearing out of his throat in a long anguished yell. His breaths racked his body and if he could he would have slumped to the floor. Instead he sat, one hand twisting the card into barely recognizable pieces, the other clutching so hard to the arm of his chair he was probably breaking it. All this over a stupid, fucking anniversary card._

He was making himself toast, food hadn't really interested him of late, but that still didn't mean that he shouldn't eat. Lack of appetite did not mean starvation. But a measly round of staling bread was really about all he could handle. It would taste like sandpaper anyway, the weight of what was happening to him, the weight of what he'd done to Rukia was pressing so heavily on top of him that he marveled briefly at how it didn't just crush him altogether.

The sound of the doorbell roused him from his thoughts, from his arduous task of putting bread in a toaster.

"It's open," He called out to his visitor, he was way too lazy and much too apathetic to care who it was.

"Ichigo?" Yoruichi's voice reached him; he raised a weary eyebrow before spinning in his chair and exiting the small kitchen.

"Yo," He said flatly as the exotic former captain entered the room, he was surprised there was no hat and clogs with her. "Come to check up on me?"

"Of course," She answered smoothly, he'd always enjoyed Yoruichi's frank bluntness, unless it involved himself.

"Well I'm just in the middle of making dinner," He cocked a head back towards the kitchen just as the toaster dinged. Yoruichi allowed a slim eyebrow to rise.

"Substantial. Don't go crazy now you're an eligible bachelor again." She said it harshly, but he couldn't find it in him to care that she was annoyed about his decision. He knew she didn't understand, she never would.

"Whatever." He replied shaking his head, his eyes tired from refusing to shut all night or he'd be assaulted by images of Rukia clad in her own bloody garments and screaming in agony on a small bed. "What do you really want Yoruichi?" He was moving back towards the kitchen now; he wasn't surprised when she followed him.

"Just thought I'd let you know I'm heading back to Soul Society for a few days...If you would like me to bring a message?" She asked slowly, he didn't even need to think for a moment.

"No." He answered bluntly, turning away from her annoyed frown.

"Ichigo, have you even spoken to her since she left?" Yoruichi's voice was just laced with all kinds of irritation.

"No and I don't plan to. It's over." He pointed out without heat; he'd resigned himself to his fate.

"Don't you think she deserves a say in this?" The tanned woman asked her hands on her hips.

"Nope." He replied coldly, "Marriages fail all the time. We're just another number to an ever changing statistic."

"What the fuck happened to you?" Yoruichi asked almost in a low hiss, "Why are you acting this way? I get you don't want to see her get hurt, but you're the one hurting her the most!" He'd never seen her loose control like this before.

"I don't care." He answered quietly; his eyes dull but still able to bore into her yellow ones. She shook her head sadly.

"You know up until a month ago, I would have disagreed with that. But looking at you now, the man you've become. It's completely true." She gave him one last fleeting look before she was gone in a flash, her presence nothing more than a gust of air filtering into the night around it. Ichigo watched the space she'd occupied, his mind reeling, his toast lay forgotten as it cooled on the countertop.

* * *

_The Second Month: What have you found out?_

Two months to the day since their seemingly impossible escape from Hueco Mundo, the incursion team – minus Ichigo and Rukia of course – and Orihime sat around Urahara's small wooden table. Ichigo had been invited to the small gathering but had promptly refused, opting to remain in the self-imposed solitude that he had been living in. Rukia was of course still recovering, her reiatsu level was almost back to full strength and Orihime had just come back with the others from Soul Society after another healing session. The scars that had adorned her back and wrists were now almost completely gone thanks to Orihime's abilities, but it was the mental scars that they were having a harder time dealing with.

Of course only a handful knew the true extent of Ichigo's condition, and the same small handful of people also knew that Ichigo and Rukia's marriage was over scarcely a year after it had begun. Though every single person at the small table had their suspicions that something had happened between their two friends but none dared ask the question.

"So you're probably wondering why I called you all here today," Urahara said slowly after taking a sip of his tea, the heat rising off it in swirling dancing streams.

"It was a little out of the blue," Renji answered gruffly, his own tea cooling in his hand as he spoke the words everyone was thinking.

"Yes, well it took me longer than I'd like to admit to gather all the necessary information, but I am ready to tell you all what I've discovered," The shop keeper replied steadily setting his cup down and folding his arms. The small group shared a significant look with each other.

"What have you found out?" Hitsugaya asked at once, he sat away from the table, his back up against the green painted wall as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Since the first appearance of these hollows, I've had my suspicions about who was responsible for Ichigo's injuries and after you all came back with one of those devices, my theories were almost confirmed, I just needed to do a little more research but now I can tell you all what I've learnt," Urahara sighed as he finished talking, watching as the group buzzed with anticipation.

Renji spoke up once more, his face pale and his jaw slacked. "Well what do you know?" The red head demanded quickly, it finally seemed like they were going to get some answers, they had been told that the device had been destroyed and that there was no cure, and for two months they believed it. Though time moved much more rapidly in Soul Society, for beings that could live hundreds of years, two months was merely an infinitesimal drop in a very large ocean. For Chad, Uryu and Orihime however the wait had been significantly longer.

"Well firstly what I said about the device was true, there is no cure and the device was destroyed upon opening the case," The shop keeper said quickly, his half lie already perfected, these two facts were truths he just opted to keep the third fact to himself that Ichigo was getting worse. "Secondly as far as I can tell, these devices are Hollow made,"

"What?" Hitsugaya asked quickly, "You're sure it wasn't the Soul Reaper who controlled the hollows that created them?"

"I thought that at first, I have never heard of hollows capable of creating something like this, they are creatures of instinct, and that instinct is to feed. It seemed strange to me that they could create something like this."

"This is very disturbing, the more we find out about hollows, the less it seems that we really know," Hitsugaya mused with a frown on his face, a seemingly never ending fight only being worsened by this new discovery.

"Indeed you're right," Urahara answered stoically, hiding the fact that he had found the discovery to be almost exciting, "but regardless it seems that they created these machines that allowed the rogue Soul Reaper to channel his zanpaktau's ability into them. It also seems that this Soul Reaper somehow managed to control these hollows, making them his servants."

"What do we know about the Soul Reaper?" Ikkaku butted in, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

"Ah, I was hoping someone would ask that, this is where it gets interesting." Urahara pulled out his fan and casually flicked it open, "I had to do quite a bit of digging around to find out about this Soul Reaper," The blonde ex captain waited for the group to be impressed but sighed when he realized that his skills where once again sadly under appreciated.

"And…?" Rangiku prompted with a nod of her head, the others agreeing with her silently.

"When I first entered the Soul Reaper academy, I heard a story about a Soul Reaper who had disappeared for several years and then came back claiming he had found a place where the Hollows lived. Of course we now know it to be Hueco Mundo, but back then a lot of people assumed the man was crazy." He paused for a moment taking a drink of his now cold tea but not really tasting it before he began again.

"The story goes a little like this; several hundred years ago a terrible plague broke out in the Seireitei and claimed the lives of many Soul Reapers. The wife of a low ranking Soul Reaper called Takashi came down with this illness and the Soul Reaper vowed to find a cure for it. He disappeared mysteriously one night and eventually a hundred years passed and it was assumed that he had died or deserted his post. One day out of the blue, he reappeared claiming that he had found the land of the hollows and he had somehow managed to gain control of some of them."

"So this is the guy who is responsible for all of this?" Ikkaku butted in again, before Urahara had finished, Rangiku promptly smacked the bald man on his head.

"Shut up idiot and let him finish!" She admonished and turned back to Urahara ignoring Ikkaku's dark glare and low growling.

"Thank you," Urahara tipped his hat to buxom woman, "Now where was I? Oh yes, so this Takashi was almost unrecognizable, he'd spent so much time among hollows that he was half a monster himself." Urahara pulled a hidden book from the folds of his haori and set it down open on the table. "This is the last known picture of him,"

"Wow he was quite handsome," Rangiku said with a frown on her face, "He looks nothing like the man we encountered."

"The eyes are the same," Hitsugaya pointed out without even looking at the picture and the others who had met the guy couldn't help but agree. The eyes even before he became what he was now where cold, calculating and malicious.

"Yes, Takashi possessed a considerable amount of strength, but even his superiors could sense that he had the potential to act malevolently so they kept him back at a lower level." Urahara added as the picture was passed around the table.

"What happened to his wife?" Uryu asked while handing the book to Chad, a grim look on his face. Urahara sighed and fanned himself simultaneously.

"Almost cruelly she managed to get over her illness without the need of his cure, which he may or may not have found, no word was ever recorded if he did or not,"

"So what happened when he returned?" Orihime asked almost fearfully, she could already guess what was coming.

"Takashi's marriage to his wife was an arranged one, they both came from low ranking noble houses and after he left and she recovered, she moved on. She never loved him from what I discovered, in fact in a report she gave she said that she found him to be a cruel sadistic man who enjoyed the misfortune of others. But he loved her, and when he came back from Hueco Mundo the way he was, she rejected him and he killed her in a rage." Urahara finished with a heavy sigh and the whole room stilled in shocked silence.

"So after all that he just killed her anyway? How ugly," Yumichika said finally breaking the heavy silence and the others nodded in agreement.

"Will any of this help cure Ichigo?" Uryu asked after another silence had enveloped them, each lost in thought as they were.

"Sadly no, I have done as much research into Takashi's zanpaktau as I can but none of it helps, it seems with these devices he was somehow able to exaggerate the power of his sword's ability."

"What exactly does the sword do?" Renji enquired quickly.

"Rather unfortunately the records from that time are very sketchy and I only have a little to go on. From what I can tell, his sword manipulates the brain into thinking that there is something wrong and it shuts down that part." Urahara's eyes were hidden in shadow as he contemplated what he had learnt, there was still so little that he really knew about this Soul Reaper and even less about the devices these hollows could somehow make.

"So that's how he was able to knock us unconscious," Hitsugaya mused quietly, his hand holding his chin.

"Yes it appears so," Urahara answered the young Captain, "The brain is still a great mystery even today, we know very little about the organ. But a Soul Reapers brain is vastly more complex because of the effects of reiatsu. It is all very complicated and I'm sure none of you want to hear about it, but the short of it is; the device latches onto a persons reiatsu and whatever the command given by Takashi was, is sent to the brain where it then travels to the rest of the body. In Ichigo's case it was the central nervous system saying that there was a problem and promptly shutting it down."

"So how is it that Ichigo still isn't better? Surely the effects should have worn off by now, no Soul Reaper can keep the effects of his sword going for that long," Renji wondered aloud and Urahara answered swiftly.

"The hollow devices." He said solemnly his head dipping low to cover his face completely from them, "Like I previously mentioned these devices attach themselves to a Soul Reapers reiatsu, the bigger the reiatsu reserve, the more potent the effects. Mixed with the zanpaktau's ability these devices are lethal, If it was just the affects of the sword we could do something about it, not even killing Takashi would make a difference, it's the device that's causing all of this."

The group fell silent once more as what Urahara said fell heavily on them. It seemed like there was no end to the bad news, they had tried everything they could and now it really seemed like there was no cure. Urahara remained silent even when conversation started back up again as the others debated what they could possibly do next, but the shopkeeper knew it was futile. He felt frustrated, never had he been so in the dark about something before. These devices where a wonder, a cruel one, but a wonder no less and every fiber in his body wanted to know more about them, but he just didn't see how. He failed to mention that the rest of Ichigo's body was shutting down too, the paralysis was spreading because the brain believed that there was still something wrong so it was shutting more things down to protect itself, and because it was latched onto Ichigo's huge reiatsu there was no way of curing him. He shook his head dejectedly, it seemed that he really was going to loose this battle.

* * *

_The Third Month: You know what I'm gonna say don't you?_

If his knee could shake in anticipation and boredom it would be, he thought bitterly as he sat in a brightly lit room, his Dad sitting to his left reading a beauty magazine.

"I've been thinking of growing my hair out, think I'd suit this?" Isshin asked lifting up the six month old magazine and showing Ichigo the horrendous looking mullet style hairdo, if Ichigo wasn't so completely impassive, he'd have laughed, told the old man he was crazy and gone back to restlessly staring out the window. Instead all he did was blink once before turning away again.

"Fine." Isshin pouted tossing the magazine down, "Be like that right now, but please Ichigo, for the sake of your sisters, try to even pretend to be happy for them." Ichigo sighed heavily, absentmindedly staring at his hand.

"Sure, whatever." He replied with a shrug, ignoring his father's heavy sigh.

"Mr Kurosaki?" A voice called across the waiting room, both he and his father's head's raised up as they saw a young nurse smiling sweetly at them. Ichigo ignored her as his Dad pushed Ichigo's chair into the room she was standing at thanking the girl with a loose grin.

"Ah hello Ichigo," Dr Masuda said looking up as they entered the spacious office, Ichigo swallowed down the ball of nervous tension that had formed in his throat and grunted a reply. "Take a seat," The doctor added kindly Isshin settled himself into a cushy chair opposite a large mahogany desk, as Ichigo pulled into the space beside him.

"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice Junichi," Isshin said calmly, his hand resting against his leg, "I know you're a busy guy so I appreciate you taking the time out."

"It's not a problem Isshin, we are old work colleagues so it's the least I can do." He said with the hint of a sad smile, Ichigo didn't miss the look shared between the two older men. "So I have the results of your latest scans," Dr Masuda said to Ichigo who nodded tersely.

"How bad is it?" He asked with an embarrassingly croaked voice, he coughed roughly to try and clear it.

"I'm just going to come right out and say it, it's not looking too positive." Both Kurosaki's nodded, "I have never seen anything like this sort of phenomenon before, it's like your whole nervous system is just shutting down. I'm sure you know yourself, since you contacted me a month ago; you've completely lost the feeling and the use of your right hand up to the elbow. And it's spreading rapidly." The doctor sighed heavily and rubbed his brow.

"Is there anything you can do?" Isshin asked almost holding his breath, as soon as Urahara had told him that the paralysis was spreading he'd called in a few favors and over the last month since they'd found out, Ichigo had been through rigorous tests to see if there was anything that human medicine could do. They'd even tried healing him using Orihime again, nothing seemed to be working.

"I'm afraid because we have never seen this sort of thing before, there is not a lot we can do. But we can put you on some medication that may slow down the affects, we'll order some more tests, an MRI scan and a few other rehabilitation techniques to see if we can help stop the spreading."

Ichigo wasn't listening, he'd known this was a long shot the moment his father had suggested it, but he didn't have a good enough reason to get out of it besides that he didn't fucking care about himself anymore. So he'd gone along with it, had been poked and prodded, X-rayed until he was sure he'd probably developed some sort of illness because of over exposure. But the noise had helped ease his fractured mind; the constant tests soothed his aching heart. He'd pushed away the _only _thing that made sense anymore and it was breaking him.

"How does that sound?" Masuda asked looking directly at him, Ichigo zoned back in, his eyes tired from not sleeping at night, he didn't know what the man had said but he answered anyway, "Sure, sounds good." He mumbled as his father stood up to shake the doctors hand.

They made their way outside in silence, Ichigo's limp hand sat uselessly in his lap as he allowed his dad to push his chair. He ignored the looks of sympathy and curiosity that passing strangers gave him, it was none of their concern. Once his father had helped him into the car - he could no longer help himself - he rested his head back against the seat.

"You know what I'm gonna say don't you?" His father asked jumping into the car after him, his face unusually somber as he started the ignition.

"You could say anything," He replied sullenly not looking at the concern washing his fathers face.

"Ichigo, I only have two things to say to you," He took a deep breath before turning slightly in his chair to face his son, the radio down low in the background as they waited in the car park.

"Fine, what?" Ichigo snapped back irritably, he just wanted to go home.

"Firstly, you need to move back in with us." Isshin said it quickly, like ripping of a band-aid to stop the prolonged pain, unfortunately the band-aid had caught some of the cut and the wound tore open again.

"What!?" Ichigo asked angrily, his eyes bulging in his head. "I'm not an invalid dad!"

"Yes, you are!" The older man shot back, his fingers white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. "I know you hate relying on others, I know it kills you to ask for help, but son, you can't do this anymore! You can barely move about and I know you've lost the feeling in one of the fingers on your left hand now too, you can't hide it from me." Ichigo's eyes burned in shame and rage, his jaw clenched so tightly it was hurting him.

"I don't want to come home." He said thickly, hating how childish he sounded.

"I know, but you have to, we can take of you boy." Isshin said gruffly, his own heart breaking for failing his son so badly, he wished with all of his heart that he could take this burden from him, carry it instead, but no matter how much he prayed to Masaki it couldn't be so.

"What's the second thing?" Ichigo asked composing himself as Isshin finally started to back out of the disabled parking space they were in.

"You need to tell her." He said not needing any more elaboration than that, Ichigo immediately scowled deeper, his good hand clenching in his lap.

"No." He answered hotly as Isshin made a noise of protestation, "I don't care what you're gonna say. I'm not going to tell her so get over it."

"Ichigo, it's not fair to keep her in the dark like this. If it was the other way round you would want to know, think how you'd feel if it was hidden from you."

"I don't care!" He repeated hotly, his breathing a little rough as his Dad drove steadily along, "It's better this way. She's safer like this."

"Safer from what Ichigo?" Isshin asked almost bewildered by his son's decisions, "You're not gonna hurt her by telling her, you're hurting her now by not!" He argued gently as Ichigo stared resolutely out the window.

"She doesn't need to know." Ichigo replied more softly now, "Its better this way." Isshin shook his head sadly, he could understand where his stubborn headed son was coming from, he wouldn't have liked the woman he loved having to suffer by watching him slowly fade away into a shell of the man she'd fallen in love with. He decided to let the issue slide; it would do no good to pursue it.

* * *

_The Fourth Month: She misses the boy_

The sounds of fighting could be heard in the silence of the descending twilight, while the rest of the Seireitei was beginning to slow down, legions of soldiers where sitting down to their hard earned dinners. Others trekking out to meet up with friends for drinks, the mixing of the squads something that was once a foreign endeavor now so prominent thanks to the actions of a few hard headed stubborn ryoka who changed everything.

But one soul was not still, one soul was not idle, this soul did not even notice that the darkness was wrapping around them so lost in thought as they were. Two men watched though, eyes narrowed in concern as the grunts of a woman could be heard as she relentlessly attacked a serious of wooden practice dummies. Her movements seamless as she jumped, skipped, _danced,_ between the wood as if they were the enemy, her sword striking against the timber with a resounding clang and thud as she flash stepped one way then curved another.

"How long has she been doing this?" A man asked stoically, his grey eyes hard even as he watched the girl sweat and pant with exertion, his arms folded into the sleeves of his haori.

"Every night since she was released from squad four and Miss Inoue was able to heal her wounds completely." The older man responded more softly, his tone less icy as he sighed heavily.

"I see." His companion said coldly, the older man glanced at the black haired Captain at his side, his long hair fluttering in the wind.

"What do you think we should do?" The older man asked again, his face lined with fatigue, his eyes dark from a recent reoccurrence of his illness.

"She is your Lieutenant, it is up to you to decide Captain Ukitake," The younger man said carefully, his eyes closing from the sight of the straining young woman, but his ears unable to block the anguished yells of a broken heart.

"Yes, but she is your sister Byakuya"

"She misses the boy." He responded sullenly, the older man knew if he was the type he would be pouting and folding his arms, the noble was not so different from the orange haired substitute in many ways.

"Yes, she doesn't speak about him much, as far as I am aware she has had no contact with him whatsoever, it's been over four months since she came back." Ukitake said with a deep frown on his face, his arms folding across his chest.

"I believe that something happened and they have called a time out on their relationship." Byakuya tried to keep the glee out of his voice, but it was very hard, he never did forgive the boy for stealing his sister's heart.

"Yes, I thought something like that might have happened. She hasn't trained this hard since those seventeen months he'd lost his powers." The older captain sighed heavily; a headache was firmly in place as he took in his broken Lieutenant.

"I must go," Byakuya finally said after several more minutes of watching his little sister train so hard her palms were bleeding. "I will leave this matter to you for now," He turned slightly to the white haired captain.

"What will _you_ do?" Ukitake asked the stoic noble who was staring expressionlessly at the girl.

"I will do whatever it takes to protect my pride." And with his piece said he was gone in the whisper of a Shunpo, Ukitake sighed once more, the feeling coming from deep within his chest and then he too was walking away as violet eyes blurred, tears streamed down her face as she ruthlessly attacked the wood in front of her.

* * *

_The fifth Month: __Damn you Ichigo_

"Do you want me to take you out for a bit?" Yuzu asked happily, her face shinning despite the dark and bitter aura emanating off her older brother. He sighed deeply and tried to keep his response good-natured for his kind-hearted sister.

"No thanks Yuzu," _I'm not a dog,_ he added inwardly as he watched her face fall a little. Her great dislike for not being able to do anything to help her big brother.

"He's not a dog Yuzu," Karin said mirroring his thoughts so perfectly that he actually raised an eyebrow in amusement. The mirth in Karin's eyes told him that she knew exactly what he was thinking. "Isn't that right Ichigo?" She challenged trying to get the usual spark out of him.

He merely grunted in response not missing the way even Karin's normally impassive face fell. He was sitting in the living room of the house he'd grown up in, and whilst he had no ill feeling towards the house, he hated that he had to live like this, his sisters and father having to help him like he was a child.

"Do you want to watch a movie with us?" Yuzu tried again and he wished he could run off to his room like he used to when he was fifteen, but he couldn't get up the stairs so he was stuck staying in the room his dad had made for him. It was basically his office that he'd taken the desk out off and put a special bed in instead.

"Sure," He answered in a single breath, his eyes dull and void of the life that both sisters used to adore. Now they were almost scared off him, and they missed Rukia, they knew he missed her too and they were frightened to ask what happened.

They watched a lighthearted romantic comedy that both Ichigo and Karin normally hated, but neither complained today when Yuzu put it on. Time passed almost unbearably slowly and Ichigo wondered briefly if he had done the right thing sending Rukia away. These sort of thoughts had been plaguing his mind recently and no matter how much arguing he did with himself, he still couldn't get his guilty conscience to just fuck off. He wasn't paying the least bit of attention to the movie as he sat in stony silence debating with himself.

At the time he had been so sure that he was right to send Rukia away, but now, now as he got worse, the paralysis freezing his entire right arm and a finger on his left hand that maybe he had been selfish. _No,_ he corrected inwardly, _I was selfish, I was thinking only about me when I decided not to tell her._ But it had to be for the best; she would have run herself ragged trying to find a cure for him, destroyed herself just so she could try and save him. No he had to fight this one last battle, for her sake more than his own.

The movie ended and he didn't even realize, both Yuzu and Karin were discussing it as they made dinner and he managed to make his own way into the kitchen. If he thought using the chair was hard with two hands it was nearly damn impossible with one hand, but he was too stubborn to always ask for help. His broken pride couldn't take any more punishment.

"I definitely think that's what I'm going to do," Yuzu said as she put plates on the table, Karin nodded in agreement.

"Do what?" Ichigo asked pulling up to the table, his chest thudded lowly at the look on Yuzu's face as her big brother finally said something without being asked first.

"Nursing," Ichigo raised an eyebrow in interest as Yuzu answered happily, "Yeah, it's just in that movie the main character really seemed to enjoy being a nurse and I could help dad out in the clinic more," She added, Karin scoffed lightly.

"Okay, your decision to do nursing came from that crappy movie?" The dark haired twin asked incredulously, Yuzu pouted indignantly suddenly looking like an eleven year old again, not eighteen that she was supposed to be.

"Of course not Karin, it just reaffirmed my decision!" She said as angrily as Yuzu ever got, Ichigo felt something creep onto his face that he hadn't felt in months. A small smile played around his mouth as his two sisters fought and he was suddenly glad, at least in that moment that he was back home with the two of them. Karin noticed first the smile on her brother's normally dead face and she found herself smiling too, a little bit of the weight she felt worrying about him lifting slightly.

Yuzu noticed next and typically her eyes starting watering and she quickly looked away or she'd cry in relief and happiness. Unfortunately for her Ichigo wanted to make her life miserable, "I think you'd make a great nurse Yuzu, it's a great idea," Ichigo said behind her and she couldn't stop the tears from escaping her at his words.

Ichigo was a little taken back when Yuzu threw her arms around his neck and buried her head into his shoulder, he saw Karin with the same incredulous look on her face before the realization dawned on both of them. Ichigo held his good arm out and Karin hesitated for only a moment before she too was wrapping one arm around her brother's neck and the other around Yuzu's back, she felt Ichigo's arm warm against her back. She screwed her eyes up, she would not cry, she didn't cry, but she couldn't ignore the slight burning in her eyes, the tensing off her jaw. _Damn you Ichigo,_ She thought as her grip tightened on him.

Isshin watched from the door as his children hugged each other, his heart wrenched painfully in his chest at the sight and he remained where he was, as he did not want to break them apart yet. Things had been so impossibly hard lately and he realized that his little girls had finally become young women as they finally broke apart from each other Yuzu letting out a shaky watery laugh. His family needed that tender moment, the confirmation that Ichigo wasn't so far gone that he couldn't appreciate his little sisters. He shook himself out of his depressing thoughts and launched himself into the room.

"My children!" He yelled happily as all three young people tensed as he grappled for them, "I missed your beautiful hug, let us do it again so Papa can join in," He should have expected Karin's foot and Ichigo's good fist connecting with his gut, _yes, _he thought with a groan as he lay convulsing on he ground, _I've taught them well Masaki._

* * *

_The Sixth month: I love you big brother_

Six terrible heartbreaking months, that's how long it had been, and it was getting harder. Rukia lay on her front, her arms acting as a pillow for her head as she waited for sleep to claim her despite the fact that dawn was fast approaching. She struggled to sleep at night, her eyes tried from restless nights and mind aching from the nightmares she was accosted with each night: Her torture and it was all for nothing.

If she had off found some form of absolution in Hueco Mundo she was sure that the beatings would be nothing but a memory, but now they served as a constant reminder, an ever-present source of discomfort that connected what she'd done to herself and what she'd done to him. They plagued her at night, so vivid when she woke the flesh on her back burned and stung as if it had really happened. More than once she'd ripped of her top to let the cool air prickle against her blazing skin and her hands ran over the once again smoothness to remind herself that it was gone, that it hadn't happened again, she was safe. But she wasn't she knew that, the less time she spent with him and the more she spent apart the hope she'd clung to like air was slowing drifting away, like holding sand and it was slipping through the cracks in her unworthy fingers.

"Do you know?" She said aloud to no-one, "Do you know what you've done? What you're doing?" She sighed as she stood, her body stretching and curving as she quickly pulled on her uniform, her badge secured in place as she became Lieutenant Kuchiki once more. Cold, but confident, calm but strong. She had been Lieutenant Kuchiki for so long now that she had almost forgot what it was like to be Rukia Kurosaki maybe that name wasn't hers anymore maybe it was just his.

She cursed him again as she ran her fingers roughly through her hair, she used to be able to distinguish the two, she had always been good at having multiple persona's. When she was at Ichigo's school she was polite, sweet, and girly. At work she was confident and brave, she acted stronger than she felt, pushed herself harder than she knew she could. Before Byakuya had relaxed around her she was the perfect noble, before she became lieutenant she was the faultless subordinate. Yes so many faces, so many people she was and none that she actually wanted to be. Her true self was with Ichigo; she could beat him, yell at him, admonish him and love him all at once and he had accepted that unconditionally, well she thought he had until he left her. She couldn't forget that day no matter how many times she tried. The words he said, the faces he made, the look in his eyes that said it wasn't a joke, that it was real.

Now when she dressed for work she was putting up that wall she'd built so high, the mask she wore so well so that no-one, not her squad, her friends, her brother or her captain, knew that as soon as the armband came off she became a wreck, a mass of fractured thoughts and feelings she had no business in having anymore. Just because he was elsewhere didn't change how she felt, well it did, those emotions only intensified until she couldn't fucking breathe.

A knock on the door roused her from her thoughts, she frowned slightly, it was early still, she could only now see the first vestiges of sunrise begin to creep over the buildings of the Seireitei, the Kuchiki mansion was set in such a perfect location it saw the most spectacular of sunrises and the most astonishing of sunsets.

"Enter," Her voice hoarse from lack of use, she coughed the morning thickness away as the panel pulled back to reveal- "Brother!" She said surprised as the tall man made his way into the room, flowing like a mist on the water his feet barely making a sound on the wooden floor. He closed the door and made it to her side before she could even think to close her mouth.

"Rukia," The man spoke efficiently, coldly, but he had the good grace to look her in the eyes now, and even if he did sometimes flinch at a particular expression she would make, she completely understood why he would now she knew of her sister's existence.

"Is everything okay brother?" She asked rigidly as he stood before her, his arms loose at his side as he closed his eyes.

"Yes, all is well." He said smoothly in response and she tried to keep the frown of her face, but why on earth would he be here so early looking like he hadn't slept. "Rukia?" He asked slowly.

"Yes?"

"Do you miss that boy?" He asked cautiously as her heart skipped a tiny beat and her eyes widened.

"W-what?" _Don't stutter _she cursed herself; she didn't need to ask who '_that boy_' was.

"The boy, do you miss him?" He asked again, his cold grey eyes finally meeting her own, she could see hesitation in his orbs, apprehension and fear, what was going on?

"Yes," She answered a little breathlessly, she could not lie about that.

"I see." Byakuya replied stoically and sighed as if he had made a huge decision and her words had confirmed it for him.

"Did he hurt you?" He asked his fingers twitching for Senbonzakura's hilt.

"Yes," She replied in the same small voice again there was no use in lying about something so painfully obvious.

"Do you want me to kill him?" Byakuya asked just a little too hopefully, his normal controlled visage just a little too flustered.

"No," The rare hint of a soft smile danced upon her face, "But I will keep it in mind." He grunted in response disappointed he couldn't take his feelings of despair at watching his little sister suffer on the one causing it.

A silence fell like dust around them, the light pooling into the room as it climbed steadily into the sky, the sun beginning it's own duties just as the household began to come alive outside the confines of her walls.

"Rukia," Byakuya's voice cut through the silence, "I know what it's like to watch the person you love suffer."

She could feel her jaw clench as he spoke, apart from that time those many years ago, he never spoke about Hisana to her, and as far as she was aware, at all. "And I know," He continued in the same calm voice, "That if there was something I could have done to help her, _anything_ at all, I would not have hesitated to do it. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"I t-think so brother,"

Byakuya took a steadying breath, his eyes focused on Rukia's pale face and he inwardly hoped that he was not about to make the biggest mistake of his life as he opened his mouth to speak one simple yet damning truth;

"You have been lied to Rukia."


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: This is the penultimate chapter. Warning contains obscene amounts of fluff…forgive me…I have a sickness.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo  
**

* * *

Chapter 14: For Eternity and a Day

_Byakuya took a steadying breath, his eyes focused on Rukia's pale face and he inwardly hoped that he was not about to make the biggest mistake of his life as he opened his mouth to speak one simple yet damning truth; _

"_You have been lied to Rukia."_

"What...?" She asked slowly, something about his gaze, the way he seemed to be more tensed than usual had her heart racing, her mouth drying. "What are you talking about?"

"The truth has been withheld from you Rukia, and I cannot allow for that to happen anymore." Byakuya's eyes were trained on hers and for once it was her who struggled to keep his gaze.

"I don't know what you mean..." She was trying to stay calm, but she was so confused that it was taking over her reasoned judgment.

"Kisuke Urahara informed you that the device you retrieved in Hueco Mundo was destroyed upon experimentation. This was a lie." Byakuya said coldly, his eyes closing the memory of talking with that man coming back to him.

"Why would they lie about that?" Even her cold-hearted brother knew 'they' was just that damn orange haired former ryoka.

"Because of what was discovered about the boy's condition." Byakuya answered watching his sisters shaking form, suddenly her eyes snapped blazing furiously to his.

"What about his condition?" She demanded harshly, a lesser man would have been terrified of his tiny sister in this moment, but she reminded him so much of Hisana that he closed his eyes and looked away to steady his breathing, calm his racing heart.

"The paralysis is spreading, it's already in one of his arms and in two of the fingers of his left hand."

"What?" Rukia hissed lowly, dangerously, this had to be a lie; there was no way that it was the truth. Absolutely no way. She was his wife for fuck sake, she had a _right _to know, the _only _right to know! She was livid, more so than her brother had ever seen.

"He is getting worse, the paralysis will eventually spread to all of his limbs, his eyes, his mouth and eventually his organs. When he dies his soul will be destroyed and he will not be reborn into the cycle of souls."

"You're wrong." She said coldly her whole body shaking as she tried to keep herself together, "You're wrong," She repeated though this time it seemed a little more pleading than before. "If he was that sick, there is no _way_ he would keep that from me. He wouldn't." She was daring him to contradict her, she knew her behavior was unacceptable, the way she was speaking to her brother completely disrespectful but she didn't care.

"I'm sorry Rukia, but it is the truth." Byakuya answered blandly. Her brother never lied, it wasn't in his nature, he either told her the truth or nothing at all, and she felt the weight of Ichigo's betrayal so heavily that she felt like she was being crushed.

"How could he?" She whispered to no one, her eyes frantically searching the ground, "How could he do this? Why would he do this to me?" Her hands where clenched tightly over her heart, her frozen fingers digging roughly into the skin on her chest.

"Rukia," Byakuya had taken a step closer, a hesitant but surprisingly warm hand resting on her curved spine. "You know how I feel about the boy, but for your own sake, please," Byakuya never begged that alone made her look up with shamefully blurred eyes, "remember what I said. If there was something I could have done to save Hisana I would have." Her eyes widened, tears slipping out the sides as she stared at her brother.

"What do you mean? Is there a way to fix him?" She squeaked in a low voice, her whole body trembling.

"That traitor Urahara seems to think so," Byakuya said with the ghost of a scowl upon his beautiful face. She felt her heart race and tangle and clench painfully in her chest.

"What should I do?" She asked almost fearfully as her brother tipped her chin back to look at him.

"You love him." He said simply before adding, "do whatever it takes to help him. Do what I was unable to do." He said softly his eyes warming slightly and she was suddenly pressing her wet face against his chest, the folds of his uniform acting as her tissue as she breathed out a shaky thank you against him.

"I have already spoken to Ukitake," He said as she finally pulled back a watery smile upon her tear stained face. "He says to do whatever it takes to get Ichigo back on his feet and to not worry about your duties for now, he has managed without a lieutenant before he can do it again." Images of a broken Kaien flashed before her eyes but she quashed it down with the feelings of immense gratitude to the captain who took her in and gave her a squad she eventually called home.

"Thank you," She smiled up at him gratefully, her hands smoothing down the rumples she'd made in his immaculate uniform, "I love you big brother," She told the normally straight faced noble, but the moment those words came from her mouth, his face broke into a passible smile. He grunted softly in response but that was enough for her.

* * *

Urahara was waiting with a grim look on his face, ever since that damn noble captain Byakuya Kuchiki had come bursting into his shop, pink cherry blossoms swirling around his formidable figure he knew _she'd_ be coming.

Sure enough the gate opened up mere feet from where he was standing, his hands deep inside his haori as a small figured stepped out, violet eyes hard as they met his own shrouded ones.

"Rukia..." He said slowly, the familiarity snapping instantly between the two of them as her fist connected solidly with his face and his hand automatically came up to adjust his tender jaw back into place. He did not object: he more than deserved that and several times over when it came to this particular young soul reaper.

"You motherfucker" She growled low in her throat, looking so much taller than her four foot eight frame actually was. "How the fuck could you let him do this?" She snapped, her chest heaving in constrained anger. She stepped back, her hands clenched into two shaking fists as she took a deep breath. "Tell me you can fucking heal him." She asked testily as she looked up at him. He felt a smile curve onto his bruised face.

"Follow me," He said as he stepped away from Rukia and made his way into his shop as she followed behind.

They stepped into a dimly room, the desk littered with rolls of parchment and heavy tomes. "You have to understand something," Urahara said calmly seating himself on a large cushion on the floor Rukia taking the adjacent one. "What I said was true, there really is no cure-"

"But-"

"But there might be a way to stop the spread before it goes too far." He said slowly as Rukia flustered slightly in annoyance, this was probably just another massive waste of time.

"I'm listening," She told the older man who nodded once before speaking again.

"Once, a long time ago, I was able to tie two souls together in order to save the life of one of them. A hollow had infected one of the souls and it was the only way to save them. I am talking about Masaki Kurosaki and Isshin Shiba," her eyes widened but she did not interrupt, she remembered the day Ichigo had told her all about his connection with the Shiba family and the circumstances of his mothers death. She in turn, told him all about what happened with Kaien. They'd both been uneasy, they'd both sought comfort and refuge in the other and then he'd proposed to her. It was perfectly Ichigo; he always did things in such a round about way.

"What are you saying?" She asked tired now, she had been tired for almost a year ever since this whole thing had started, she just wanted to give in and stop.

"If you were to tie your soul to Ichigo's I believe it might be enough to stop the paralysis, from spreading." The shopkeeper said as he pulled a small fan from the sleeve of his robes.

"And the catch?"

"You'd be more human than Soul reaper." Her eyes widened slightly at his words, her hands clenched on her hakama. The former captain spoke again, "But don't worry, I believe that over time your powers would come back, much like Isshin's did. It could be months, or it could be years like Isshin, but they would eventually come back."

"Okay I'll do it." She replied solemnly with a shrug, the shopkeeper looked a little startled.

"Wouldn't you like to take some time to think about it?" He asked, but he couldn't quite keep the sly smirk of his face.

"Of course not," She replied swiftly, "I said that I would do whatever it took to help him and I meant it."

"Very well, since your powers already once inhabited Ichigo you are the only person who could do this. It's all very complicated," He added with an infuriating smirk as he stood, she followed swiftly pushing up on her legs in one slick movement.

"Will it cure him?" She asked though she knew the answer.

"Honestly? For the first time in my life I have no idea. If your power and his are compatible there is no reason to say that it might start to undo the effects, but it is highly unlikely. Chances are you will just prolong his life and hopefully save his soul from perishing as well."

"What do I have to do?" She asked inwardly bidding goodbye to her brother, her captain, Renji and her friends.

"Don't worry, you're already a pro at stabbing him through the chest." The shopkeeper joked handing her a small dagger as she nodded in return, the anticipating nervousness encroaching on her battered heart.

"Could this go wrong?" She asked not worried for her own safety, but hoping that there was no serious risk to Ichigo's life.

"Like with anything there are always risks...but I can't say for certain what will happen. Isshin and I will come a little after to make sure everything has gone to plan and to put you in one of my gigai's, I'd give it to you now, but it hasn't finished setting yet."

"Can't I just use my normal one?" She questioned the shopkeeper.

"Unfortunately not as your normal gigai wasn't made for long term use." He answered swiftly and she ignored the way the words 'long term use' made her stomach twist in apprehension.

Ever since the beginning, that fateful night when she'd met him, that ridiculous day that they first kissed she knew nothing would ever be easy between her and Ichigo, but even she couldn't have predicated it would ever go like this. She sighed heavily and allowed herself to get momentarily lost in the memory of her and Ichigo's first kiss. It was this moment that she realized that what she felt for him was not something that she could fully comprehend. In fact it was something she still struggled with.

_Ichigo slammed his bag down on his desk and threw himself roughly onto his bed, his frustrated yell muffled by his pillow. A smirking Rukia entered through his window, he blatantly ignored her, even when he felt the end of his bed sink from her sitting on it._

"_Why are you over reacting so much?" He heard her ask as he groaned again into his pillow. Her voice was just dripping with glee and his scowl deepened at the thought that she found his suffering amusing._

"_Because!" He yelled flipping onto his side so he could glare at her, "The whole school thinks I'm a giant pervert!" He told her angrily and her growing smirk only made him more frustrated. _

"_Please Ichigo, they already thought that," He let out a strangled yell at her words and stood up abruptly from his bed. He could hear her laughing behind him and he ignored the fact that he actually rather enjoyed the sound of her carefree laughter. That grief that he often saw clinging to her was gone for the moment; but he didn't care, he told himself, he was too annoyed at her for finding his misfortunate funny._

"_You're not helping," He snapped whilst dropping onto his chair and placing both elbows on his desk and dropping his head into his waiting arms. _

"_Seriously Ichigo, It's not a bid deal, so you kissed a few girls so what?"__She said, her voice closer__ now, her footsteps carrying her towards him._

"_Kon! Kon kissed those girls! I didn't- I wouldn't- I never-" He drowned off shaking his head and feeling his cheeks burn at the thought. _

"_So that's what this is about?" Her voice had changed from amusement to understanding and he swivelled in his chair. His face instantly blushed brighter, _why the hell is she standing so close to me? _He thought desperately as his eyes widened in shock. Rukia was standing inches away from him, her head barely towering over his even though he was sitting down. _

"_What's what about?" He asked trying to keep his voice calm but failing miserably, hell he could practically feel her body heat seeping into him._

"_You've never kissed someone before have you?" She asked with a knowing smile and he knew instantly that his red face, spluttering and bulging eyes were a dead give away that what she said was indeed the truth. "I told you idiot, it's not that big of deal, a kiss is just-"_

"_Yeah yeah, 'merely a form of greeting'" He cut her off by quoting what she had said to him the day before. He watched as her eyebrow rose in amusement and he inwardly cringed, gosh he was getting on like such a kid. "So you've kissed someone before then?" He asked hoping to turn this conversation on her._

"_Of course," She answered at one, "I've kissed loads of people," His whole face lit up in surprise at her words. Damn he knew she was a lot older than him, but she got on just like every other teenage girl he knew, he was stupid to think that she was as innocent as he when it came to stuff like, well like that._

"_Oh," He coughed lightly his voice was oddly choked, "I see," He shook his head and turned away from her, he could still feel her behind him, but he didn't turn to look. His face was still embarrassingly red, and the differences between them so blaringly obvious yet again. _

"_Hey Ichigo?" She asked evenly and he sighed when she spoke, he turned back to her and let out a small yell when her face appeared suddenly right in front of him. _

"_W-w-what are you d-doing?" He spluttered pressing his back up against the chair, which was stuck against the desk and he was trapped in the middle._

"_Do you want me to kiss you?" She asked innocently and his body practically melted right there onto the floor. He tried to form a coherent answer for her but the only thing that came out was a slurred "unnnh". The next thing her soft lips where pressed lightly against his cheek and his whole face felt like it had been set on fire. No sooner had the pressure come and it was gone and Rukia was smirking wickedly once again._

"_See? A kiss, no big deal so stop freaking out," She chastised lightly as he blinked in confusion. Sure it had been a kiss, but it wasn't a kiss kiss, you know the type that two people do when they're…he gulped…in love._

_"Wait," He stopped her as she made for her –his- closet. "Is that how you always kiss someone?" He asked hoping Rukia really was as naïve as she sometimes acted._

"_Of course, what other way is there?" She asked incredulously, that know at all voice practically dripping in disbelief that he could be so stupid. He smiled, a proper smile that took her breath away for a moment._

"_You idiot," He whispered softly and she wasn't sure why her cheeks heated up at the way he said it, the gentle curve of his normally down turned lips. He turned those bright, amber eyes of his to hers and she felt something catch in her throat, her breath possibly. _

"_How am I the idiot!?" She asked desperately searching for the abrasive fire she hid behind, but he looked so foreboding sitting there. She'd never seen that look on his face before. _

"_Rukia, there are loads of different ways to kiss someone, it's not just 'a greeting' you know," He said quietly, that look in his eyes almost like understanding causing her to back away from him unconsciously. _

"_Oh yeah like what?" She asked trying to sound confident, but her voice was shaking and so where her hands. _What the hell is with this fake body?_ She thought with rising confusion _why am I feeling like this?

"_Hey Rukia?" He asked mirroring her previous question and ignoring every protesting bone in his body, he wasn't really sure what was going on with him right now. "Do you want me to kiss you?" It was her turn for her eyes to widen in shock._

"_I-I..." She froze as he stood up from his seat and stepped right in front of her, she could see his chest directly in her eye line and she might have licked her lips without even thinking about it. Next thing Ichigo's lips where on hers, so softly and so timidly but she knew instantly why he had been acting like it was the end of the world that people thought he had been kissing girls left right and centre. _

_He pulled away after only the lightest of touches against those pink lips of hers, but from the rising blush on her cheeks and the way her eyelids fluttered that it had been enough to win this particular argument. He hid his smile and his own flushing face as he turned his back on her and made for his bed. _

_Neither spoke for several moments, Rukia was still reeling from the feel of his lips on hers and Ichigo was having an inner mental break down at being so damn forward with a member of the opposite sex._

"_Ichigo," Rukia's voice broke him from his crazed thoughts, she wasn't looking at him but he watched her anyway, "Do you want me to use the memory modifier on the girls in school?" She asked almost timidly and he smiled again, his face hurting from the seldom seen action. Oh yeah he had so won this argument._

That had been the moment that everything and nothing at all had changed between them. She could still remember the next time that they had kissed, right after that stupid Don Kanoji show had been in town. He'd been so annoyed that it was almost cute, she couldn't help but repeat the same action he'd done for her a few days before, and it was even better this time.

She blanched at how naïve she was back then, it's not like they kissed people like _that _back in the Rukongai and it wasn't like she had loads of interactions in the Academy, she'd been adopted too quickly by Byakuya to learn about that sort of stuff. Everything she knew about love and all the subsequent affection that came with it was taught to her by Ichigo.

That was how it was between them back at the start: stolen kisses and hidden touches when no one else was around. Rukia knew it was wrong, she knew that she was on borrowed time but she hadn't cared, not when Ichigo would let her sleep in his bed after she had a nightmare, not when it was his arms she crawled into whenever she'd had a bad day. This was why she had left for the first time all those years ago; she knew she had gotten far to close too him. She loved him, she wasn't even sure what that was back then, but she couldn't deny what she felt for him went beyond normal companionship, she had never felt that way about anyone before and she knew he felt the same way, even if he was too proud to say it.

It may have taken them years to admit it, but they had always been bonded, it transcended everything and everyone else and that's why she was going to do this, because she could, because she had to, because she was the only one. She smiled softly, her eyes half closed as she tucked the dagger Urahara had given her more securely into her robes.

"Remember, we'll be there in half an hour to make sure nothing has gone wrong," Urahara told her before she nodded once and left the shop.

* * *

Black shadows lined the room he was currently sat in. He was staring hard at the wall ahead of him, but he wasn't seeing it at all. His mind was too focused on what was happening to him, what he'd brought upon himself. He sighed and ran his left hand through his messy orange hair. With a pang he realized that it wouldn't be long until he wasn't able to do this anymore, that he would be unable to lift his hand, blink or even sigh through his lips. The thought terrified him; he'd already lost the feeling completely in his right arm, the flesh just hanging there like a useless lump as he sat in his old house.

But what terrified him more wasn't that this was going to happen to him, no, that was scary in it's own right. What terrified him the most was that he would have to do it alone, it wasn't something anyone could do for him, or take away.

He sighed again, more heavily this time. "You know they say sighing shortens your life," A quiet voice mused from the window of the room he was in. His head snapped round immediately, and if he could he would be standing already.

"Rukia…" He said hesitantly, heart soaring and pulse racing at just the sight of her standing there in her uniform, eyes dark and stance unyielding. "What are you doing here?" He said after a moment of ever lengthening silence, it seemed that she was in a mood to say very little. That had to be a first for her.

She pushed herself of the windowsill, her eyes hidden behind her hair and he swallowed thickly. "You shouldn't be here," He said stiffly, ignoring the selfish part of him that was glad that she was here he'd missed her.

"You know," She began slowly, turning her body away from him to stare out the darkened window. "My brother came to see me a few hours ago. He told me something interesting, and do you know...I think for the first time ever...I told him to his face that he was wrong."

He wished she would look at him, stop speaking so coldly and so cryptically, though his eyebrows did rise at her statement, "Rukia, why are yo-"

She cut across him deftly, her tone like ice that froze him in place, "He told me something, that I argued could not be true. Because there was no way that I wouldn't have been informed already." She finally looked at him, her normal violet eyes were dark, almost black in the dim lighting, and she looked angrier than he'd ever seen her.

"He told me that Urahara found quite a few things from that device before it disintegrated, things that were kept from me." Ichigo swallowed thickly, realization dawning on him. Trust Byakuya to make life difficult for him.

"Look Rukia I ca-" she cut across him once again, her entire body rigid.

"He told me," she said coldly as if ignoring the fact that Ichigo had spoken at all. "He told me that the paralysis caused by the machine spreads, until it eventually causes complete paralysis of the body and then of the internal organs. I laughed when he told me, because if that where true, then I would already know." She turned fully towards him, arms folded across her chest in defiance. "Was I right to tell him he was wrong?" She asked scathingly and he blanched slightly, turning his head away in shame.

"Rukia...I...uh..." He found himself speechless, his words escaping him when he needed them most, his explanations and reasoning vacating his body.

"You bastard," She spat at him and he felt his eyebrows pull into an even tighter scowl than before. "You complete and utter bastard, how dare you." She was so controlled, so level as she berated him, it would have been easier if she had of just lost it and yelled at him. "How dare you keep something so important from me," She was right in front of him now and it took all of his courage to meet her eyes.

He instantly regretted the decision, those violet orbs of hers swam with tears of betrayal and unkempt agony, fear and a thousand other emotions that he couldn't even comprehend. _He_ had caused that.

"Since when did you make decisions for the both of us?" She asked as he finally felt his own anger flare dangerously. Anger was something he was good at, something he always had control of, mostly.

He scoffed loudly, a snide smirk gracing his lips, "I guess it was around the time that _you _started doing the exact same damn thing."

"That's not the same thing," She said quickly, her arms dropping and fists clenching.

"Save it, you know fine rightly that it is. When did we both decide that you should go to Hueco Mundo for a cure? You could have been fucking killed." He said nastily as her eyes narrowed momentarily.

"Don't bring that up again," She answered at once, her voice so cold it would have frozen even the most hellish of places. "You said you understood why I did it, don't dare throw that back in my face."

"It doesn't change the fact that you did it, you did it to protect me, to save me. I told Urahara and my old man not to say anything to you because it was my turn to protect you, to save you." He said it with conviction, purpose but allowed the heat to drop away from his tone. Her stance did not relax at all.

"Save me from _what?_" She asked slowly, her eyes spitting fire and her words sharp as ice. He didn't answer her tight-lipped he looked away. "Save me from _what _Ichigo?" She asked again, her hands dropping to rest on the arms of his wheelchair and he glanced up nervously at her.

"Save you from me." He finally admitted, not meaning it to sound as needy and dramatic as it did. She laughed harshly and pulled back from him, her hands clenching once again. "What's so funny?" He asked annoyed when she didn't stop with that horrible bitter laugh that was coming out of her, it didn't suit her at all.

The laughter died away as if it had never been there in the first place. "What's funny is that you seem to have completely forgotten our wedding vows. Hell maybe you never even meant them in the first place." She added with a shrug and he swallowed thickly once again.

"Do you remember our vows Ichigo?" She asked with much less anger and much more gently than before. "In sickness and in health? Do you remember that? I do, I can still remember saying them, hearing them," She was talking so quietly now he was sure that she was talking purely to herself and not him. "You said _for eternity..._"

"_And a day, _I remember Rukia," He answered at once. She flicked her eyes to his and shook her head slightly.

"I'm not sure that you do." She answered softly, the fight that had been raging inside of her all but gone. "Otherwise you would never have made the decision to keep what's happening to you away from me."

"I did it so you wouldn't be held back by me," He said quickly, she scoffed loudly.

"Spare me, this has nothing to do with me, it's all about you Ichigo." She shot back harshly, he thought about arguing back but she wasn't done. "You know I never took you for being a selfish bastard." She said bitterly, "Your pride won't allow me to help you, your pride is keeping you from letting me stay by your side. This has _nothing_ to do with me being held back, but it does have _everything_ to do with you not wanting me to see you so weak and helpless." She finished with an all too knowing flourish and he felt his jaw tighten.

"Fine," He snapped, "Is that what you want to fucking hear? Then yes, that's exactly why I sent you away. I have nothing left Rukia, _nothing_, save my pride." He ran his hands harshly through his hair, breathing a little more ragged than he would have liked.

"You have me." She said quietly, he almost didn't hear her. He flicked his eyes to her, she was frowning deeply, one hand gripping the other arm so harshly he was sure she was drawing blood. He felt his breath leave his body, his own frown completely wiped from his face.

He moved closer to her, his left hand reaching out so he could brush the fingers of her unoccupied hand. She sighed letting her fingers dance against his own. "Yeah, I do have you. I always forget I'm stuck with you." He said with a small grin and she returned it with a rather weak one of her own.

"You need to understand Rukia," He said after a moment, "I'm not so strong that I can face this alone, but I'm not so weak that I'll ask you to stay." He kept his eyes focused on their brushing fingers.

"Ichigo, I do understand, I'm not asking you to ask me to stay, I'm telling you I am." She grasped his fingers fully with her own, allowing herself to drop to her knees before him, her hand resting on his thigh, the other held by him. He was towering over her again, as it should be he smiled at the image.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," He said timidly, she smirked at how childish he sounded.

"You idiot," She said affectionately, "This makes us even." She added reminding him of her own stupidity that got her tortured and nearly killed. He watched her frown again, her face paler than usual, her hand cold in his own.

"Ichigo, do you want to get better?" She asked so completely off topic that he was taken back for a moment.

"Of course, why are you asking that?" He replied his voice laced with confusion.

"If I was the one who was sick, how far would you go to heal me?" She asked disregarding his previous question. He really wished she would stop hiding her face in her hair.

"As far as it took Rukia, you know that, why are you asking all this stuff?" He tried again, but she simply shook her head, rising to her feet.

"That's what I needed to hear. Ichigo," Her eyes met his and he swallowed thickly, "You're going to let me try to heal you."

"What are you talking about?" He could feel her hand shake in his own.

"I can't make you the way you where," She drew in a shaky breath, "But I can stop it from spreading." Her gaze was unwavering as he looked down at her, his own breath shakier in his chest than he would have liked.

"Seriously, you're starting to freak me out, just tell me properly." He said quickly, his own nervous anticipation at her cryptic words getting the better of him.

She sighed heavily, staring out the window, Urahara and Isshin would be here soon she didn't have a lot of time to do this. "Ichigo, we've always been connected, one soul, one heart all that cheesy shit you used to say to me."

"Way to ruin it..." He grumbled under his breath, she ignored him completely.

"I am going to tie my soul to yours once again." She said firmly, ignoring the way his eyes widened slightly.

"But what about you? Last time it nearly took all your powers!" He said loudly, his hands clenched into fists at how selflessly stupid she could be sometimes.

"This isn't like last time Ichigo I swear, it's different,"

"How is it different? Rukia, what's it gonna do to you?" He asked sternly, his face lined more than his years should have allowed, he looked much too old sitting there.

"Nothing, I'll be fine-"

"Don't lie to me dammit!" He half yelled, he was just so tired of her putting up this wall of strength, she could be weak just for once, she recoiled slightly. "I'm sorry, just no more lies," He was practically begging her. She smiled ever so slightly, her features softening.

"I'm not Ichigo, I promise." She put her hand inside her robes, fingers closing over the cool hilt of the dagger she'd been given. "It's just gonna make me a little too human for a while, but my powers will come back eventually."

"No." He said stubbornly folding his arms, "I can't let you give up your job for me, being a Soul Reaper is in your blood, do you realize what having no power is like? How weak you'll be?"

"It's okay Ichigo, I've made my peace with this," He swore under his breath as she spoke.

"What about Jushiro? Huh? How's he gonna cope without a Lieutenant?" Ichigo asked quickly desperately trying to find a way of stopping her.

"He's fine with it, he told me to go and help you, he's coped without a Lieutenant before, he will again." She chuckled lightly as she spoke, her face so serene despite what she was about to do.

"Please Rukia, don't do this for me..." Ichigo said slowly as she withdrew a small glowing dagger from her robes.

"Last time you were more than willing to let me do this, what's so different this time?" She joked as he eyed the dagger.

"Because I was a stupid kid last time, a selfish one at that. All I thought about was power to save the people I care about. I can't ask you to give that."

"Tough shit, because I am," She replied with a shrug and stepping closer to him. He sighed before flashing her a grin.

"I guess it can't be helped, you always where damn stubborn." He said unfolding his arms and sitting a little straighter in his seat.

"And you were always a drama queen, but who's complaining." She teased as she lowered her head towards his. He couldn't help but smile as her soft lips melded onto his, the moistness of her tongue gentling massaging his own.

Six fucking months without _her_ touch; Twenty six weeks without _his_ taste; One hundred and eighty two days without _her_ strength; four thousand three hundred and eighty two hours without _his_ warmth; Two hundred and sixty two thousand nine hundred and seventy four minutes without each other and fifteen million six hundred and thirty eight thousand four hundred seconds being incomplete.

He didn't even feel her move until the sharp burning pain of the dagger in his chest caused him to gasp into her mouth, he grunted but she kept kissing him and he kissed back afraid that something would go wrong and this would be the last thing they would ever do. He could feel her now, her very essence pouring into his being and he knew she was growing weaker; her lips were so cold against his, her fingers slack and limp against his thighs having slipped from the knife.

His eyes rolled in his head, the power so intense through his being, he was vaguely aware that Rukia had slumped to the ground seemingly lifeless he wished he could do something, say something, move, but the blood rushed to his head and he groaned in pain. His vision darkened and the last thing he remembered before he blacked out was the feel of Rukia's lips so sure against his own.


End file.
